Comments | ace: Ace at his most charming

ace

Ace at his most charming

Oct 25, 2004 02:01

So it's kinda late in the evening and I'm at 7-11 after watching "I ♥ Huckabee's" (bitchin' movie, by the way) to pick up something for breakfast monday morning. While I'm waiting in line, this extremely attractive 20-something gal comes up to me and flashes this gorgeous smile ( Read more... )

Comments 1

redmonk October 25 2004, 16:57:53 UTC

The way it should have gone down:

Her: *smiling* "Hi!! You just looked familiar - Yeah, weren't you in my anthropology class last year?"
Ace's brain: Fuckface, if you fucking fuck this one up, I fucking swear to fucking Christ I'm fucking going to put fucking sand in your fucking vaseline while you fucking sleep. So help me God!
Ace: *oozing testosterone onto the floor, making a giant puddle of manliness around his feet* I am THE Ace, and we are going to fuck. Now.
Her: TAKE ME NOW, YOU WALKING TALKING PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF SEX!

For the next six hours, the local 7-11 is transformed from shitty convience story with grossly overinflated prices of food that expired four years ago, into a temple of carnal delights so shocking that even the most hedonistic of Ancient Greeks and Romans would have been appalled. And we won't even touch on the reaction that Hostess Inc. would have upon discovering that their innocent Halloween Cupcakes, a delight for children of all ages, could be put to such a myriad of perverted uses. Twinkie ( ... )