Just children being honest
I found this sitting around at work and wanted to share it. Funny answers. Kids say the darndest things. My favorite one is how leaves "perspire" :)
Children's science exam answers
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Thinks for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g. abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts--the brainium, the borax, and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is a fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?"
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Teacher and Student Q&A
Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.
Teacher: John, why are you doing math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it's H to O
Teacher: Winnie, name one importantt thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: ME!
Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie.... Always say, "I am."
Millie: All right... "I am the night letter of the alphabet."
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it... Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
Teacher: Now Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No sir, it's the same dog.
Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.
Children's science exam answers
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Thinks for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g. abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts--the brainium, the borax, and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is a fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?"
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Teacher and Student Q&A
Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.
Teacher: John, why are you doing math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it's H to O
Teacher: Winnie, name one importantt thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: ME!
Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie.... Always say, "I am."
Millie: All right... "I am the night letter of the alphabet."
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it... Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
Teacher: Now Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No sir, it's the same dog.
Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.