Oh, this was tremendous! I really love it. I love the tone you've got here, which manages to be hilarious and bittersweet all at the same time. The pace is great and you've established a very good rhythm for the first person POV with all the internal monologing. Notes I took:
Thesis: She is thinking, “I, Zoe Alleyne want to make mad, sweaty, frantic love to Hoban Washuburne”.
Hell yes!
Silence. Damn that small talk to hell
So Wash. Perfect.
But, not before saying a quick goodbye to Guido, one of my new friends (whom I only later recalled as actually being a factory worker from around the way, that didn’t know me, and was made highly uncomfortable by my proximity to him, which he expressed to me with a mumble of “move the fuck over, Ginger”).
“Well Guido, looks like the Sheriff come to take me away.”
OMG the funny!
What I did not hear through my sleepy and sex addled glossolalia was a steel toed boot clang against the floor.
I'm going to go again with HELL TO THE YES!
Stammer and conjugate, that’s my motto.Can I
( ... )
It's fascinating to see the interpertaion you gave to my requests. I really loved your idea about Wash during the war, it's one I've never heard before. And a great way to get into Zoe's good books :)
I really loved the use of scientific method - not too much at all! (Plus, you used the word "Monosyllabic", which I love).
Really enjoyed this - thank you for writing it! :)
I failed at reading fic this summer, but then I get to read it when all the good weather has gone away and the nice fic can cheer me up :o)
Wash's voice in this was brilliant, from all moon-eyed poet to sefl-depreciating humour, and the 'scientific method' bit at the end of each section was great. I enjoyed!
Comments 5
Nice foreshadowing.
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Thesis: She is thinking, “I, Zoe Alleyne want to make mad, sweaty, frantic love to Hoban Washuburne”.
Hell yes!
Silence. Damn that small talk to hell
So Wash. Perfect.
But, not before saying a quick goodbye to Guido, one of my new friends (whom I only later recalled as actually being a factory worker from around the way, that didn’t know me, and was made highly uncomfortable by my proximity to him, which he expressed to me with a mumble of “move the fuck over, Ginger”).
“Well Guido, looks like the Sheriff come to take me away.”
OMG the funny!
What I did not hear through my sleepy and sex addled glossolalia was a steel toed boot clang against the floor.
I'm going to go again with HELL TO THE YES!
Stammer and conjugate, that’s my motto.Can I ( ... )
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Thanks for playing!
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It's fascinating to see the interpertaion you gave to my requests. I really loved your idea about Wash during the war, it's one I've never heard before. And a great way to get into Zoe's good books :)
I really loved the use of scientific method - not too much at all! (Plus, you used the word "Monosyllabic", which I love).
Really enjoyed this - thank you for writing it! :)
Reply
Wash's voice in this was brilliant, from all moon-eyed poet to sefl-depreciating humour, and the 'scientific method' bit at the end of each section was great. I enjoyed!
Reply
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