i need your therapy
i need your therapy
jaebum/taecyeon
G ; 1,203 words
a/n: taecbum is still OTP! this came out a lot longer than i intended. i just couldn't stop writing. also, it's a bit more angsty than i was planning but oh well. what can you do?
His phone was ringing. It was a little past two in the morning and his phone was ringing.
“This better be important…” Jay grumbled to himself as he shuffled the many papers around his cluttered desk. His phone had to be here somewhere. He moved a folder full of future itineraries and saw the corner of his cell phone peeking out. He grabbed it and glanced at the caller id before freezing.
Taec.
Jay stared a second longer before realizing that the call would probably go to his voicemail soon. He took a deep breath, hitting the button to answer.
“Hello?”
“…”
“Hello?” Jay was starting to lose his patience. “Anyone there? Hello?”
“Jay…hi.”
“Taec? Why are you calling me now?”
“Sorry, I know it’s late. I just-”
“No, I mean why are you calling now…after all this time?”
Taecyeon fell silent again and stayed that way for a while. Jay thought he maybe hung up and was about to say something when the younger spoke.
“I heard you were back in Korea. I just, I don’t know…figured I should give you a call. Catch up, ya know?”
Truth be told, Taecyeon missed Jay. Plain and simple. Sure, the group as a whole had gotten used to not having a leader anymore but that doesn’t mean Taec had gotten used to it. It still felt weird to him to accept awards without a seventh member on stage. After all these months, he still couldn’t adjust. But if Taecyeon knew Jay well enough (and he liked to think he did), he knew Jay would tease him mercilessly if he knew the truth. So he decided it was best to just play it cool.
“‘Catch up’? It’s not like I went away on vacation and now we can just ask each other ‘What have you been up to?’”
Taecyeon flinched at the sharp tone, thankful that Jay couldn’t see him. “I’m sorry. It’s just been such a long time. I feel like we should talk.”
Jay sighed and ran his hand over the back of his head. He wasn’t sure how he felt about this whole talking and catching up thing. However, even though he’d never admit it out loud, it was nice to hear from Taec. Before he could change his mind he said, “You wanna meet up? Like, go hang out somewhere and catch up?”
“What? Now?” The younger sounded confused. He always was kinda dumb Jay thought to himself smiling.
“Yes, now. Did you think we were gonna go meet in broad daylight for all the fans to see? It’d cause chaos.”
“Oh...right. So, how about coffee?”
“Sounds good.”
As Jay walked up to the storefront he glanced in through the windows. He saw Taecyeon sitting at a corner table in the far back. He braced himself as he opened the door, and then walked to the table. As he neared, Taecyeon made a move as if to stand up and greet him but Jay sat down before he could. Taec sat himself back down and they offered each other small smiles before falling into an awkward silence. Eventually Taecyeon couldn’t take it anymore and he asked, “Do you want a coffee? My treat.”
“Sure.” Jay nodded.
Taecyeon walked over to the counter and began to place an order. Meanwhile, Jay mentally slapped himself and wondered why he agreed to come here in the first place. It’s been nearly a year since he last saw any of the guys and months since any of them had talked to him. What could Taecyeon possibly have to say to him now?
Taec placed a mug in front of Jay and sat back down across from him with his own coffee in his hand. Jay wrapped his hands around the warm mug and stared into it, not sure what to even say.
“So, how have you been?” Taecyeon said quietly.
“Well, ya know, besides all the death threats and unwanted reporters showing up at my family’s house, I’ve been good.”
“Jay-”
“No, Taec. Listen, I’m not holding any grudges against you guys or anything like that. Over the past few months we’ve all said some really stupid things and gotten what we deserve. But it’s all working out for the better now isn’t it? Sure, there’s haters everywhere, but for every hater there’s a fan right?”
Jay was on a roll, not even stopping to take a breath. He still hadn’t raised his gaze to meet Taecyeon’s, but when a large hand rested atop his he stopped and looked up. The younger man was staring at him with a mixed look of confusion and hurt.
“Even if it is all working out for the better, this isn’t the way it was supposed to be. None of this was ever supposed to happen.”
“What do you mean?”
“You weren’t supposed to leave. We weren’t supposed to let you and then later desert you. We, you and me…we weren’t supposed to forget about each other.”
Jay pulled his hand out from under Taecyeon’s and held onto his mug harder. Despite the warmth emanating from the drink he had between his hands, he felt cold. “Life isn’t perfect, Taec. Things don’t always work out the way they’re meant to.”
“Then why can’t we try to make them perfect? Why can’t we just do the best we can to keep everything together?”
Taecyeon could hear the desperation in his voice, the desperation he had been trying so hard to hide. He’s making it so hard though! What with all his cold words and the fact that he wouldn’t look him in the eye. Taec was losing it.
“It’s just been too long Taec. It’s past fixing and ‘keeping together’.”
To be perfectly honest, Jay wished it wasn’t. He wished Taec hadn’t waited this long to talk to him about this. He wished it was months ago, when the feelings were still fresh and he’d trade everything and anything to reverse what had happened. Except now it’s too late. Jay’s gotten used to this life.
“I leave for Seattle soon. I won’t be here much longer.”
Taecyeon didn’t respond so Jay risked a quick glance at him. He was staring at the opposite wall with an unreadable expression on his face. Jay took this as a sign that there was nothing left to say so he stood up from the table.
“Thanks. For the coffee, I mean.”
He turned and walked towards the door, straining his ears for any clue that Taec had reacted. He heard nothing though and when he reached the door he sighed and walked out into the night.
Days later Jay was packing his bags for his trip back home. He heard his phone buzz and once again had to shuffle around the papers and clothes that littered his bed. Once he had located it he saw that he had a text message.
It’s never too late. Give me a call when you get home, yeah? Have a safe trip, leadja.
Jay smiled despite himself. Taec’s optimism was kind of encouraging. Maybe Jay was wrong. Maybe it wasn’t irreparable. Maybe if they tried really hard, they could bring back some of what was lost.
jaebum/taecyeon
G ; 1,203 words
a/n: taecbum is still OTP! this came out a lot longer than i intended. i just couldn't stop writing. also, it's a bit more angsty than i was planning but oh well. what can you do?
His phone was ringing. It was a little past two in the morning and his phone was ringing.
“This better be important…” Jay grumbled to himself as he shuffled the many papers around his cluttered desk. His phone had to be here somewhere. He moved a folder full of future itineraries and saw the corner of his cell phone peeking out. He grabbed it and glanced at the caller id before freezing.
Taec.
Jay stared a second longer before realizing that the call would probably go to his voicemail soon. He took a deep breath, hitting the button to answer.
“Hello?”
“…”
“Hello?” Jay was starting to lose his patience. “Anyone there? Hello?”
“Jay…hi.”
“Taec? Why are you calling me now?”
“Sorry, I know it’s late. I just-”
“No, I mean why are you calling now…after all this time?”
Taecyeon fell silent again and stayed that way for a while. Jay thought he maybe hung up and was about to say something when the younger spoke.
“I heard you were back in Korea. I just, I don’t know…figured I should give you a call. Catch up, ya know?”
Truth be told, Taecyeon missed Jay. Plain and simple. Sure, the group as a whole had gotten used to not having a leader anymore but that doesn’t mean Taec had gotten used to it. It still felt weird to him to accept awards without a seventh member on stage. After all these months, he still couldn’t adjust. But if Taecyeon knew Jay well enough (and he liked to think he did), he knew Jay would tease him mercilessly if he knew the truth. So he decided it was best to just play it cool.
“‘Catch up’? It’s not like I went away on vacation and now we can just ask each other ‘What have you been up to?’”
Taecyeon flinched at the sharp tone, thankful that Jay couldn’t see him. “I’m sorry. It’s just been such a long time. I feel like we should talk.”
Jay sighed and ran his hand over the back of his head. He wasn’t sure how he felt about this whole talking and catching up thing. However, even though he’d never admit it out loud, it was nice to hear from Taec. Before he could change his mind he said, “You wanna meet up? Like, go hang out somewhere and catch up?”
“What? Now?” The younger sounded confused. He always was kinda dumb Jay thought to himself smiling.
“Yes, now. Did you think we were gonna go meet in broad daylight for all the fans to see? It’d cause chaos.”
“Oh...right. So, how about coffee?”
“Sounds good.”
As Jay walked up to the storefront he glanced in through the windows. He saw Taecyeon sitting at a corner table in the far back. He braced himself as he opened the door, and then walked to the table. As he neared, Taecyeon made a move as if to stand up and greet him but Jay sat down before he could. Taec sat himself back down and they offered each other small smiles before falling into an awkward silence. Eventually Taecyeon couldn’t take it anymore and he asked, “Do you want a coffee? My treat.”
“Sure.” Jay nodded.
Taecyeon walked over to the counter and began to place an order. Meanwhile, Jay mentally slapped himself and wondered why he agreed to come here in the first place. It’s been nearly a year since he last saw any of the guys and months since any of them had talked to him. What could Taecyeon possibly have to say to him now?
Taec placed a mug in front of Jay and sat back down across from him with his own coffee in his hand. Jay wrapped his hands around the warm mug and stared into it, not sure what to even say.
“So, how have you been?” Taecyeon said quietly.
“Well, ya know, besides all the death threats and unwanted reporters showing up at my family’s house, I’ve been good.”
“Jay-”
“No, Taec. Listen, I’m not holding any grudges against you guys or anything like that. Over the past few months we’ve all said some really stupid things and gotten what we deserve. But it’s all working out for the better now isn’t it? Sure, there’s haters everywhere, but for every hater there’s a fan right?”
Jay was on a roll, not even stopping to take a breath. He still hadn’t raised his gaze to meet Taecyeon’s, but when a large hand rested atop his he stopped and looked up. The younger man was staring at him with a mixed look of confusion and hurt.
“Even if it is all working out for the better, this isn’t the way it was supposed to be. None of this was ever supposed to happen.”
“What do you mean?”
“You weren’t supposed to leave. We weren’t supposed to let you and then later desert you. We, you and me…we weren’t supposed to forget about each other.”
Jay pulled his hand out from under Taecyeon’s and held onto his mug harder. Despite the warmth emanating from the drink he had between his hands, he felt cold. “Life isn’t perfect, Taec. Things don’t always work out the way they’re meant to.”
“Then why can’t we try to make them perfect? Why can’t we just do the best we can to keep everything together?”
Taecyeon could hear the desperation in his voice, the desperation he had been trying so hard to hide. He’s making it so hard though! What with all his cold words and the fact that he wouldn’t look him in the eye. Taec was losing it.
“It’s just been too long Taec. It’s past fixing and ‘keeping together’.”
To be perfectly honest, Jay wished it wasn’t. He wished Taec hadn’t waited this long to talk to him about this. He wished it was months ago, when the feelings were still fresh and he’d trade everything and anything to reverse what had happened. Except now it’s too late. Jay’s gotten used to this life.
“I leave for Seattle soon. I won’t be here much longer.”
Taecyeon didn’t respond so Jay risked a quick glance at him. He was staring at the opposite wall with an unreadable expression on his face. Jay took this as a sign that there was nothing left to say so he stood up from the table.
“Thanks. For the coffee, I mean.”
He turned and walked towards the door, straining his ears for any clue that Taec had reacted. He heard nothing though and when he reached the door he sighed and walked out into the night.
Days later Jay was packing his bags for his trip back home. He heard his phone buzz and once again had to shuffle around the papers and clothes that littered his bed. Once he had located it he saw that he had a text message.
It’s never too late. Give me a call when you get home, yeah? Have a safe trip, leadja.
Jay smiled despite himself. Taec’s optimism was kind of encouraging. Maybe Jay was wrong. Maybe it wasn’t irreparable. Maybe if they tried really hard, they could bring back some of what was lost.