It's a long way from yesterday to where i am today

[acerbus_motus]

it's 4 in the morning. and I have been trying to write a stupid 2 page reflection since midnight.

Instead, I am chain smoking and lighting leaves on fire.
It's official, I give up on this semester. I blame it on the knowledge that I can't fix anything --the only thing I can do is make it worse by not trying. Trying will get me nowhere, it'll just

Comments

[mysilentredwood]

There's something you need to realize: there's a good chance your parents won't change. Think about it, Jenn, even when you were their perfect, little, live-by-the-book Christian girl they didn't really treat you all that better, did they? I understand wanting those things from your parents, trust me, I do. But...we have to face it, we may never get what we truly want/need from them..so these things we're doing- we do them for ourselves. Not to prove we can to our parents or others, not even to prove to ourselves that we're good enough. Because we are good enough and we don't need to prove it. We do these things we're doing because...we want to.

And I do think it's possible to have that balance. To be doing well in school and care and being emotionally..in tune. Keep on trying for now, because if you completely fail, it'll be harder for you to concentrate next semester. But if you're in the 'trying' mindset...next semester will truly be a fresh start.