(no subject)
Title: Zydrate Anatomy
Author: achika_chan
Pairing: Spoony/Linkara
Rating: Pg-13
Summary: Lieutenant Spoony and his band of merry men are faced with the death of a patron of the shady Lotus Eaters night club.
Spoony was pretty sure he knew that lady leaving the morgue dressed in dark jeans and a vintage band t-shirt.
“Spoony, hey!” she said, stopping.
“Hey, 80s Chick. How are you?” Spoony asked, confused. What was she doing at the precinct, let alone coming out of the morgue? “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Oh, no. I just came by to drop something off,” 80s Chick said. “But I really should be going, and I bet you’re super busy. I’ll see you around, though, okay?”
“Yeah, sure…” Spoony said, watching with his eyebrows drawn tight as she left.
He went in to see that Insano was clearly just starting his lunch break, pulling food items out of the plastic bag curiously.
“What’s for lunch?” Spoony asked, eyeing the food a little jealously. He still hadn’t had a chance to eat his own lunch yet.
“Let’s see….It looks like chicken fettuccini, some garlic toast and some fresh chocolate chip cookies,” Insano said.
“Wait, really? That’s not fair,” Spoony protested. “I have to eat shitty takeout and you get that?”
Insano grinned. “The benefits of having a friend who decided that going to culinary school would be a better use of her time than following bands around on tour or using her English degree,”
“Ah,” Spoony said, understanding dawning. “That’s what 80s Chick was dropping off? Your lunch?”
Insano nodded. “On Wednesdays she has a cooking lab, or something. I receive delicious food and it helps her learn to cook new things. It’s a win-win situation,”
Spoony frowned a little. “Are you sure that’s…smart? I mean. She’s Spoonette’s best friend and all, and you’re still…”
“Ellie just got dumped by a long term boyfriend, not that it’s any of your business. Neither of us are thinking white picket fences or even romance,” Insano said flatly. “We’re just…friends. And it’s nice,”
“Alright,” Spoony said. “Sorry to bring it up,”
“It’s fine. What did you want?” Insano asked, eating a forkful of pasta.
“Just wanted to ask if you had anything for me yet on our latest vic,” Spoony said.
Insano handed over a file folder. “Just finished it. Have fun, it’s a doozy,”
Insano was right, Spoony thought. The victim was Greg Cooper, age 26. He’d been found in the bad part of town in an alley, pumped full of nearly every drug known to man. His nails had broken scratching his attacker and been scraped for possible DNA evidence, and there were bruises all over him - both offensive and defensive wounds.
He’d gone down fighting, despite being high as a kite and probably barely able to lift an arm or walk a straight line.
He had medium brown hair and blue eyes, and a stamp in black light ink on the back of his right hand that Spoony recognized.
He’d been there exactly once before he had decided that it just wasn’t his thing.
“The vic was at The Lotus Eaters sometime relatively soon before his death, because the handstamp hadn’t been washed off,” Spoony said.
“The bar?” Reynolds asked.
“No, the bed and breakfast. Of course the bar, idiot,” Spoony said. “It’s a pretty distinctive handstamp,”
“Well that would explain all the drugs, if that place’s reputation is to be believed,” Reynolds said, eyeing the preliminary tox screen.
“It is,” Spoony said.
“Oh yeah? And do you know that from experience, sir?” Reynolds asked, teasing.
Spoony rolled his eyes. “Yes, actually. And I didn’t like it there. Gave me a migraine,”
“You realize that this means we’re going to have to go down there?” Reynolds asked.
“Good luck getting answers out of anyone. They’re real big anonymity and privacy,” Spoony said darkly.
The Lotus Eaters was shady as fuck, and it was decorated like something out of Caligula. They went during the day, when the club was setting up for the night.
The guy manning the door was short and angry looking and was about to throw them back on the street when Spoony flashed his badge. The guy took it and actually examined it before handing it back.
“JERRID!” He yelled, and a taller bald guy poked his head over the railing.
“What, Jake?” Jerrid called down.
“Cops want to see him,” Jake said.
Jerrid shot a look behind him, presumably at someone Spoony couldn’t see, and then gave a nod.
“Send ‘em up,” Jerrid said.
“Stairs are over there,” Jake said, pointing to the back wall.
“Thanks,” Spoony said dryly. “Never would have found them,”
Jake glared and opened his mouth to retort, but Spoony ignored him, ushering Reynolds forward. When they got up the stairs, Jerrid led them to an office, tucked away from everything else, and shut the door behind them. Which did nothing to ease Spoony’s nerves.
“How can I help you?” asked the man sitting at the desk. He wore a black suit jacket over a graphic-T shirt and glasses. And, Spoony was amused to note, he was barefoot, his black shoes were on the floor by the desk.
There was a woman there, too. Curvy, and with red hair. She’d be exactly what Spoony used to go for in a lady if her hair was a little longer and more vivid, she was a little taller, and that ring on her left hand disappeared. She was giving Spoony and Reynolds a bored look.
“Mr. Jones, we’ve got some questions for you about a body we found recently nearby,” Spoony said.
“Please, call me Brad. I’ve seen you here before, haven’t I?” he said, leaning forward slightly.
“I’ve been here once, a couple years ago,” Spoony said.
“Yeah, I thought so. I never forget a face,” Brad said.
He was certainly intense. That part of Brad ‘The Snob’ Jones’ reputation was well deserved. And everything they said about his voice was true.
“Good. Show him the picture, Reynolds,” Spoony ordered, and Reynolds pulled out the picture of Greg Cooper.
Brad took it and looked it over. “Yeah, I remember him. He was here all the time. Missed the last few nights, though. What happened to him?”
“He was found beaten to death in an alley,” Spoony said. “We were hoping you or your people would be able to fill in some of what happened to him,”
“Well I don’t know about that,” Brad said. “I don’t pry into customers’ personal lives, and neither does anyone else here,”
Spoony had known that he was going to say that.
“Well then, I guess we’re just going to have to come back tonight, when the customers are here, and ask them. And I remember there being some things that you wouldn’t want a cop to see here, at night,” Spoony said, grinning. “That might make some trouble for you, don’t you think?”
Brad snorted. “You’re good. I like you. Jillian dear, you were paying more attention than I was, tell the good officers what they want to know,”
Jillian stood and walked over, standing behind Brad and leaning over his shoulder to look at the picture.
“Oh. Him. Yeah, he was going to hook up with some guy, but they had a disagreement and he left,” Jillian said.
“Do you know who he had that argument with?” Reynolds asked.
Jillian shook her head. “Sorry, I don’t remember names and faces as well as Brad, and it was dark,”
“And unfortunately for everyone, I was in here most of the night and didn’t see it,” Brad said.
“Well that’s just great,” Spoony sighed. “Thanks for your help,”
Jerrid opened the door then, and Spoony and Reynolds left.
Spoony had no idea what their next move was going to be. Just going in and asking people would lead to nowhere, because most of the people who actually went to The Lotus Eaters were high, drunk or fucking someone.
“Your victim,” Insano said, putting a file on the desk “Was lucky to live long enough to get murdered, if you call that lucky. That shit he had in his system was some nasty stuff that does not play well with other drugs, and he’s not the only one who took it. Found it in the body of a John Doe and it did kill him. I’ve never seen anything like this stuff,”
Spoony’s chemistry was beyond rusty, but he didn’t like the look of the break-down he was looking at.
“What the hell fucking drug is it?” Spoony asked, trying to parse the side-effects and symptoms of use.
“I don’t even know if it has a street name yet,” Insano said, frowning. “This is literally the first time I’ve seen it before, and considering what it does to a person, it has to be either incredibly new or the users were so incredibly careful that…well, they probably wouldn’t have been using in the first place if they were that careful,”
“Well shit,” Spoony said, rubbing his face tiredly. “Is Narcotics going to come steal the case, at least?”
Insano laughed and patted Spoony on the head. “Nope. Officially, they’re ‘over-loaded with cases already’ but unofficially they don’t want to mess with this. It’s all yours,”
Spoony groaned. “The universe hates me,”
“Yes. Yes it does,” Insano said cheerily, handing Spoony something else. “Because check out the John Doe,”
It was a morgue picture of the body. The John Doe had medium brown hair and blue eyes, just like their vic Greg Cooper.
“No,” Spoony said. He refused to believe there was a connection between the appearances of both victims with the drugs in their systems. Because if there was…
“Sorry, Spoony. Looks like your case just got more complicated,” Insano said.
“Somebody had to have seen something. You’ll figure it out,” Linkara said confidently.
He was petting the puppy that Spoony had adopted after rescuing it and a bunch of other animals from its previous owner. Spoony had named her Oreo, because of her black and white coloring, and had brought her over to Linkara’s because she still had serious anxiety issues whenever he left, and he felt bad about leaving her again after he’d been at work all day.
“I’ve talked to everyone who I can think of,” Spoony said.
“Not everyone, you haven’t,” Harvey called from the kitchen.
“No one likes eavesdroppers, Harvey!” Linkara scolded, and Oreo tried to gnaw playfully on Linkara’s arm as it moved. Harvey just chuckled.
“Who’d I miss, then?” Spoony asked.
“You talk to the bum?” Harvey asked, poking around the corner, mixing bowl and spoon in hand. He was making mint chocolate brownies tonight.
“Chester wasn’t anywhere near there, I know because I had to send him to the movies again,” Spoony said.
“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what happened. He hears more than you think,” Harvey said.
“I guess I can talk to him tomorrow, it’s not like he’s hard to find,” Spoony said. It probably wouldn’t lead anywhere, but it was better than spinning his wheels, and Harvey didn’t make it a habit of butting in when Spoony and Linkara talked work.
Chester was a skinny homeless man who was so unfailingly cheerful that Spoony felt bad whenever he had to tell Chester to move along because people were complaining. He was kind of child like, and enjoyed movies so much that the local theater had practically adopted him.
“Hey, Chester. How’re you doing today?” Spoony asked.
Chester beamed at him. “Officer Spoony One! Have you ever been to the dog park? I went! And there were some of the cutest doggies I have ever seen in my life! And I played fetch with some of them, and one of the tiny puppies tried to chase me!”
Spoony smiled and thought briefly about Oreo. “Yeah, dogs are great, aren’t they?”
Chester nodded enthusiastically.
“Chester, I’ve got something to ask you,” Spoony said.
Chester looked worried for a brief second. “Do I have to leave?”
“Nah, you’re just fine. I wanted to ask you if you know what happened over near The Lotus Eaters a few nights ago,”
Chester nodded. “They found a body! All us bums were talking about it, and Lester said that he saw the entire thing happen! Oh, it was not pretty Officer Spoony One, not pretty at all,”
Jackpot, Spoony thought. He really needed to listen to Harvey more often.
“Do you think I could talk to Lester? We’re trying to find the person who hurt the guy in the alley, and it would help a lot,”
Chester shook his head, eyes wide. “Oh no. Lester won’t talk to you. He’s scared of the police. I try to tell him that sometimes the police are nice but I think he would be too afraid to talk to you,”
Spoony sighed. “Well, can you at least tell me what he told you?”
Chester thought for a moment. “Yes, that would be okay,”
It wasn’t much, and it had been filtered through two people who were emotionally if not mentally unstable, but at the end of the conversation Spoony at least had something.
“Apparently the guy we’re looking for is tall and has blond hair,” Spoony told Reynolds.
“That…narrows it down, I guess?” Reynolds said. Spoony really didn’t blame him for being hesitant to celebrate the new information. There were a billion tall guys with blond hair in the city.
Spoony flipped through one of his files, searching for a phone number. He dialed it, and it was answered almost immediately.
“Brad Jones,” the voice on the other end said.
“Brad, this is Lieutenant Spoony, we talked a few days ago?” Spoony said.
“Lieutenant. How can I help you this time?” Brad asked.
“Looking for a tall guy, blonde hair, that’s more than likely been to your club,” Spoony said.
“Well that could be just about anybody,” Brad said.
“He tends to go for medium height guys with brown hair and blue eyes,” Spoony said.
“That certainly sounds familiar,” Brad said, and Spoony was almost surprised. Not only had the bums given him good info, Brad actually knew who he was talking about? Maybe his luck with this case was starting to turn around.
“Can you give me name, then?” Spoony asked.
“Unfortunately not. I haven’t ever spoken to him. But he should be here tonight, if the routine holds,” Brad said.
Well, getting a name would have been too good to be true. But they had a little more, now.
“Thanks for your help,” Spoony said.
“It’s always a good idea to have a good relationship with the police. Have a nice day, Lieutenant,” Brad said before hanging up.
Spoony was setting up the plan to go in and try to find the creep and hit a snag. How was he going to be able to decide which tall blond guy was the killer? He couldn’t just ask Brad to point him out, that ran the risk of him catching on and spooking. Spoony was thinking about taking the risk and just doing that anyway when Linkara showed up.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” Spoony asked, grinning.
Linkara raised an eyebrow at him and pointed at his watch.
Spoony groaned. “Shit. I forgot dinner plans, didn’t I? Sorry. It’s just this case…”
“I get it, trust me. Can you still leave, or do you want me to go bring you something?” Linkara asked. He was smiling, blue eyes clearly amused at Spoony’s expense.
Suddenly, Spoony had a solution to his problem. He could always lure the killer out. That was, if Linkara agreed to the plan.
“…How do you feel about going clubbing tonight?” Spoony asked.
“You know,” Linkara’s voice piped in through the ear-piece. “I’m Internal Affairs, this really isn’t my jurisdiction,”
“You’re only protesting because of the clothes,” Spoony said, grinning. He was helping set everything up in the surveillance van before he went in himself. And yeah, he’d rather not be wearing clubbing clothes either, especially not in front of the guys, but it was worth it just for the opportunity to tease Linkara.
“They’re awful. I can barely walk in these pants and this shirt is way too tight for someone my size,” Linkara said.
“Oh come on, you looked good to me,” Fields said, shooting Spoony a wicked look. “Maria and I wouldn’t kick you out of bed,”
“Hey! That’s my boyfriend you’re perving on, show some respect,” Spoony said.
Linkara gave a snort of laughter.
“Oh hi, Pot. Meet Kettle. Who was the one humming burlesque music and telling me to take it off in the middle of the precinct’s gym?”
Spoony’s men burst out into laughter.
“We were alone then, thanks,” Spoony said, trying to resist the urge to smack his men upside the head.
“Right. I’m almost there. And you owe me for this,” Linkara said.
“Oh don’t worry, I look forward to paying you back,” Spoony said.
The Lotus Eaters was everything Spoony remembered it being.
“This place is fucking loud,” Spoony grumbled. “I don’t know how we’re going to get anything done if we can’t talk,”
“Ah, come on, Boss,” Fields said through the carefully hidden earpiece Spoony was wearing. “Never underestimate the importance of body language,”
“Fields, did you just quote Disney movies at us?” Linkara replied from his position at the bar, a little incredulous.
“My daughters are in a mermaid phase, okay?” Fields said defensively.
“Sure they are. Now pay attention, Boss, Linkara. You’ve got a Poor Unfortunate Soul to catch,” Girard said, and there was a muffled thump that was probably Fields hitting him.
Spoony looked over at Linkara and made his way over to the bar, grinning like a predator who’d caught sight of his prey. “Hey there. You wanna dance? I promise, I’ve got moves like you’ve never seen,”
Linkara gave Spoony a once over, playing his part perfectly. “Oh really? I’d like to see that,”
“This should be good,” Reynolds muttered gleefully into their ears.
The music thudded and pounded, and Spoony desperately hoped that he wasn’t going to get a headache from it, because this would be the absolute worst time for that to happen.
On the plus side, he had Linkara pressed up against him and moving to the beat. But he couldn’t let himself get distracted. He scanned the room discreetly, trying to catch sight of any potential murderers. There were a couple tall blond guys around, but he couldn’t tell if they were who they were after.
“…There’s a guy staring at us from the top of the stairs,” Linkara said. Spoony had a feeling he knew who Linkara was talking about, and when Spoony subtly moved them around so that he could see, his suspicions were correct.
Brad Jones was staring at them, his arm around his wife. Spoony caught his eye, and Brad smirked and raised his eyebrows suggestively, pulling his wife closer. Jillian looked confused for a second before she saw who her husband was looking at and she blew a kiss.
Spoony couldn’t even imagine what his face must look like to cause Linkara to ask “What?” in that tone of voice.
“I think,” Spoony muttered, trying to hold in a laugh. “We were just propositioned for a foursome with the owner and his wife,”
“And that is the perfect opening,” Linkara said, shoving Spoony away and punching him across the jaw with much less force than it appeared to the crowd who were suddenly paying attention to them after Linkara yelled something about ‘how dare you’ and ‘I can’t believe you’.
The SWAT guys sounded like they were rolling with laughter in Spoony’s ear. Spoony glared at Linkara as best as he could when he was laughing himself on the inside. Linkara pretending to be angry was adorable.
“Fine, have it your way!” Spoony said, and walked off to the bar.
Everyone was staring at them. Including some of those tall blond guys.
“Well played, boss. Now we just have to see if any of them take the bait,” Jackson said.
Spoony watched Linkara surreptitiously over his coke. Linkara retreated to a booth in the corner and put on a good show of sulking.
He was approached a few minutes later by a tall blond man, who gave him a sympathetic smile and sat across from him.
Spoony watched like a hawk as the guy tried to pick Linkara up. Linkara allowed himself to be picked up, and agreed when he suggested that they go ‘somewhere quieter’. Linkara met Spoony’s eyes as he followed the guy out.
“This is it boys, be ready,” Spoony said.
Spoony followed them discreetly to the alley. Linkara kept up a stream of semi-flirtatious banter, distracting the suspect and letting Spoony and the SWAT guys know that everything was still fine.
The suspect was not, however, distracted enough to not pull out a syringe. Luckily he hadn’t noticed Spoony following them, and Spoony grabbed the guy’s wrist. The suspect was surprised and began cursing at them, struggling to get away. Spoony squeezed the guy’s wrist harder until he dropped the syringe.
That was when the rest of the team arrived. Spoony handed the suspect over to Jackson to be cuffed and Mirandized.
“You okay?” Spoony asked Linkara, who rolled his eyes.
“I’m more traumatized by these clothes than having to play victim. Next time something happens here, find someone else to be the bait,”
The door to the club opened and Brad Jones stepped into the alley.
“So it was him after all. I knew I was right,” he said. He gave the suspect a dirty look. “I hope you know that if for some reason you don’t go to jail, you won’t be getting back into my club. Ever,”
Jackson and Girard dragged the suspect away.
“Thanks for your help, Brad,” Spoony said.
Brad shrugged. “There’s very few things I don’t tolerate, Lieutenant. Using my club for murder is one of them,”
Dr. Hadley Lowell was a plastic surgeon by day and had helped develop a powerful new painkiller for his patients to use before surgery. Roses from Computer Crimes had heard about it and promptly dubbed the new drug ‘Zydrate’ after the drug in Repo: The Genetic Opera. No one else had found it quite as amusing as she did.
Lowell had been testing it on unsuspecting Lotus Eaters patrons. He admitted that when he’d injected Greg Cooper, Greg had gotten away. Lowell followed Greg and tried to keep things under wraps, but Greg had fought and Lowell wound up killing him. And he steadfastly denied that he’d meant to kill the second victim, repeatedly saying that he hadn’t known the drugs would interact like that and that that was why he was doing the tests.
Insano had scoffed, when he’d heard that. “That simpleton wouldn’t know the Scientific Method if Newton came and repeatedly dropped an anvil on his head,”
Spoony was just glad that the case was over now. Because he had a date with his man, his dog, a box of pizza and a dumb but fun action movie that he was not going to reschedule again.
Author: achika_chan
Pairing: Spoony/Linkara
Rating: Pg-13
Summary: Lieutenant Spoony and his band of merry men are faced with the death of a patron of the shady Lotus Eaters night club.
Spoony was pretty sure he knew that lady leaving the morgue dressed in dark jeans and a vintage band t-shirt.
“Spoony, hey!” she said, stopping.
“Hey, 80s Chick. How are you?” Spoony asked, confused. What was she doing at the precinct, let alone coming out of the morgue? “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Oh, no. I just came by to drop something off,” 80s Chick said. “But I really should be going, and I bet you’re super busy. I’ll see you around, though, okay?”
“Yeah, sure…” Spoony said, watching with his eyebrows drawn tight as she left.
He went in to see that Insano was clearly just starting his lunch break, pulling food items out of the plastic bag curiously.
“What’s for lunch?” Spoony asked, eyeing the food a little jealously. He still hadn’t had a chance to eat his own lunch yet.
“Let’s see….It looks like chicken fettuccini, some garlic toast and some fresh chocolate chip cookies,” Insano said.
“Wait, really? That’s not fair,” Spoony protested. “I have to eat shitty takeout and you get that?”
Insano grinned. “The benefits of having a friend who decided that going to culinary school would be a better use of her time than following bands around on tour or using her English degree,”
“Ah,” Spoony said, understanding dawning. “That’s what 80s Chick was dropping off? Your lunch?”
Insano nodded. “On Wednesdays she has a cooking lab, or something. I receive delicious food and it helps her learn to cook new things. It’s a win-win situation,”
Spoony frowned a little. “Are you sure that’s…smart? I mean. She’s Spoonette’s best friend and all, and you’re still…”
“Ellie just got dumped by a long term boyfriend, not that it’s any of your business. Neither of us are thinking white picket fences or even romance,” Insano said flatly. “We’re just…friends. And it’s nice,”
“Alright,” Spoony said. “Sorry to bring it up,”
“It’s fine. What did you want?” Insano asked, eating a forkful of pasta.
“Just wanted to ask if you had anything for me yet on our latest vic,” Spoony said.
Insano handed over a file folder. “Just finished it. Have fun, it’s a doozy,”
Insano was right, Spoony thought. The victim was Greg Cooper, age 26. He’d been found in the bad part of town in an alley, pumped full of nearly every drug known to man. His nails had broken scratching his attacker and been scraped for possible DNA evidence, and there were bruises all over him - both offensive and defensive wounds.
He’d gone down fighting, despite being high as a kite and probably barely able to lift an arm or walk a straight line.
He had medium brown hair and blue eyes, and a stamp in black light ink on the back of his right hand that Spoony recognized.
He’d been there exactly once before he had decided that it just wasn’t his thing.
“The vic was at The Lotus Eaters sometime relatively soon before his death, because the handstamp hadn’t been washed off,” Spoony said.
“The bar?” Reynolds asked.
“No, the bed and breakfast. Of course the bar, idiot,” Spoony said. “It’s a pretty distinctive handstamp,”
“Well that would explain all the drugs, if that place’s reputation is to be believed,” Reynolds said, eyeing the preliminary tox screen.
“It is,” Spoony said.
“Oh yeah? And do you know that from experience, sir?” Reynolds asked, teasing.
Spoony rolled his eyes. “Yes, actually. And I didn’t like it there. Gave me a migraine,”
“You realize that this means we’re going to have to go down there?” Reynolds asked.
“Good luck getting answers out of anyone. They’re real big anonymity and privacy,” Spoony said darkly.
The Lotus Eaters was shady as fuck, and it was decorated like something out of Caligula. They went during the day, when the club was setting up for the night.
The guy manning the door was short and angry looking and was about to throw them back on the street when Spoony flashed his badge. The guy took it and actually examined it before handing it back.
“JERRID!” He yelled, and a taller bald guy poked his head over the railing.
“What, Jake?” Jerrid called down.
“Cops want to see him,” Jake said.
Jerrid shot a look behind him, presumably at someone Spoony couldn’t see, and then gave a nod.
“Send ‘em up,” Jerrid said.
“Stairs are over there,” Jake said, pointing to the back wall.
“Thanks,” Spoony said dryly. “Never would have found them,”
Jake glared and opened his mouth to retort, but Spoony ignored him, ushering Reynolds forward. When they got up the stairs, Jerrid led them to an office, tucked away from everything else, and shut the door behind them. Which did nothing to ease Spoony’s nerves.
“How can I help you?” asked the man sitting at the desk. He wore a black suit jacket over a graphic-T shirt and glasses. And, Spoony was amused to note, he was barefoot, his black shoes were on the floor by the desk.
There was a woman there, too. Curvy, and with red hair. She’d be exactly what Spoony used to go for in a lady if her hair was a little longer and more vivid, she was a little taller, and that ring on her left hand disappeared. She was giving Spoony and Reynolds a bored look.
“Mr. Jones, we’ve got some questions for you about a body we found recently nearby,” Spoony said.
“Please, call me Brad. I’ve seen you here before, haven’t I?” he said, leaning forward slightly.
“I’ve been here once, a couple years ago,” Spoony said.
“Yeah, I thought so. I never forget a face,” Brad said.
He was certainly intense. That part of Brad ‘The Snob’ Jones’ reputation was well deserved. And everything they said about his voice was true.
“Good. Show him the picture, Reynolds,” Spoony ordered, and Reynolds pulled out the picture of Greg Cooper.
Brad took it and looked it over. “Yeah, I remember him. He was here all the time. Missed the last few nights, though. What happened to him?”
“He was found beaten to death in an alley,” Spoony said. “We were hoping you or your people would be able to fill in some of what happened to him,”
“Well I don’t know about that,” Brad said. “I don’t pry into customers’ personal lives, and neither does anyone else here,”
Spoony had known that he was going to say that.
“Well then, I guess we’re just going to have to come back tonight, when the customers are here, and ask them. And I remember there being some things that you wouldn’t want a cop to see here, at night,” Spoony said, grinning. “That might make some trouble for you, don’t you think?”
Brad snorted. “You’re good. I like you. Jillian dear, you were paying more attention than I was, tell the good officers what they want to know,”
Jillian stood and walked over, standing behind Brad and leaning over his shoulder to look at the picture.
“Oh. Him. Yeah, he was going to hook up with some guy, but they had a disagreement and he left,” Jillian said.
“Do you know who he had that argument with?” Reynolds asked.
Jillian shook her head. “Sorry, I don’t remember names and faces as well as Brad, and it was dark,”
“And unfortunately for everyone, I was in here most of the night and didn’t see it,” Brad said.
“Well that’s just great,” Spoony sighed. “Thanks for your help,”
Jerrid opened the door then, and Spoony and Reynolds left.
Spoony had no idea what their next move was going to be. Just going in and asking people would lead to nowhere, because most of the people who actually went to The Lotus Eaters were high, drunk or fucking someone.
“Your victim,” Insano said, putting a file on the desk “Was lucky to live long enough to get murdered, if you call that lucky. That shit he had in his system was some nasty stuff that does not play well with other drugs, and he’s not the only one who took it. Found it in the body of a John Doe and it did kill him. I’ve never seen anything like this stuff,”
Spoony’s chemistry was beyond rusty, but he didn’t like the look of the break-down he was looking at.
“What the hell fucking drug is it?” Spoony asked, trying to parse the side-effects and symptoms of use.
“I don’t even know if it has a street name yet,” Insano said, frowning. “This is literally the first time I’ve seen it before, and considering what it does to a person, it has to be either incredibly new or the users were so incredibly careful that…well, they probably wouldn’t have been using in the first place if they were that careful,”
“Well shit,” Spoony said, rubbing his face tiredly. “Is Narcotics going to come steal the case, at least?”
Insano laughed and patted Spoony on the head. “Nope. Officially, they’re ‘over-loaded with cases already’ but unofficially they don’t want to mess with this. It’s all yours,”
Spoony groaned. “The universe hates me,”
“Yes. Yes it does,” Insano said cheerily, handing Spoony something else. “Because check out the John Doe,”
It was a morgue picture of the body. The John Doe had medium brown hair and blue eyes, just like their vic Greg Cooper.
“No,” Spoony said. He refused to believe there was a connection between the appearances of both victims with the drugs in their systems. Because if there was…
“Sorry, Spoony. Looks like your case just got more complicated,” Insano said.
“Somebody had to have seen something. You’ll figure it out,” Linkara said confidently.
He was petting the puppy that Spoony had adopted after rescuing it and a bunch of other animals from its previous owner. Spoony had named her Oreo, because of her black and white coloring, and had brought her over to Linkara’s because she still had serious anxiety issues whenever he left, and he felt bad about leaving her again after he’d been at work all day.
“I’ve talked to everyone who I can think of,” Spoony said.
“Not everyone, you haven’t,” Harvey called from the kitchen.
“No one likes eavesdroppers, Harvey!” Linkara scolded, and Oreo tried to gnaw playfully on Linkara’s arm as it moved. Harvey just chuckled.
“Who’d I miss, then?” Spoony asked.
“You talk to the bum?” Harvey asked, poking around the corner, mixing bowl and spoon in hand. He was making mint chocolate brownies tonight.
“Chester wasn’t anywhere near there, I know because I had to send him to the movies again,” Spoony said.
“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what happened. He hears more than you think,” Harvey said.
“I guess I can talk to him tomorrow, it’s not like he’s hard to find,” Spoony said. It probably wouldn’t lead anywhere, but it was better than spinning his wheels, and Harvey didn’t make it a habit of butting in when Spoony and Linkara talked work.
Chester was a skinny homeless man who was so unfailingly cheerful that Spoony felt bad whenever he had to tell Chester to move along because people were complaining. He was kind of child like, and enjoyed movies so much that the local theater had practically adopted him.
“Hey, Chester. How’re you doing today?” Spoony asked.
Chester beamed at him. “Officer Spoony One! Have you ever been to the dog park? I went! And there were some of the cutest doggies I have ever seen in my life! And I played fetch with some of them, and one of the tiny puppies tried to chase me!”
Spoony smiled and thought briefly about Oreo. “Yeah, dogs are great, aren’t they?”
Chester nodded enthusiastically.
“Chester, I’ve got something to ask you,” Spoony said.
Chester looked worried for a brief second. “Do I have to leave?”
“Nah, you’re just fine. I wanted to ask you if you know what happened over near The Lotus Eaters a few nights ago,”
Chester nodded. “They found a body! All us bums were talking about it, and Lester said that he saw the entire thing happen! Oh, it was not pretty Officer Spoony One, not pretty at all,”
Jackpot, Spoony thought. He really needed to listen to Harvey more often.
“Do you think I could talk to Lester? We’re trying to find the person who hurt the guy in the alley, and it would help a lot,”
Chester shook his head, eyes wide. “Oh no. Lester won’t talk to you. He’s scared of the police. I try to tell him that sometimes the police are nice but I think he would be too afraid to talk to you,”
Spoony sighed. “Well, can you at least tell me what he told you?”
Chester thought for a moment. “Yes, that would be okay,”
It wasn’t much, and it had been filtered through two people who were emotionally if not mentally unstable, but at the end of the conversation Spoony at least had something.
“Apparently the guy we’re looking for is tall and has blond hair,” Spoony told Reynolds.
“That…narrows it down, I guess?” Reynolds said. Spoony really didn’t blame him for being hesitant to celebrate the new information. There were a billion tall guys with blond hair in the city.
Spoony flipped through one of his files, searching for a phone number. He dialed it, and it was answered almost immediately.
“Brad Jones,” the voice on the other end said.
“Brad, this is Lieutenant Spoony, we talked a few days ago?” Spoony said.
“Lieutenant. How can I help you this time?” Brad asked.
“Looking for a tall guy, blonde hair, that’s more than likely been to your club,” Spoony said.
“Well that could be just about anybody,” Brad said.
“He tends to go for medium height guys with brown hair and blue eyes,” Spoony said.
“That certainly sounds familiar,” Brad said, and Spoony was almost surprised. Not only had the bums given him good info, Brad actually knew who he was talking about? Maybe his luck with this case was starting to turn around.
“Can you give me name, then?” Spoony asked.
“Unfortunately not. I haven’t ever spoken to him. But he should be here tonight, if the routine holds,” Brad said.
Well, getting a name would have been too good to be true. But they had a little more, now.
“Thanks for your help,” Spoony said.
“It’s always a good idea to have a good relationship with the police. Have a nice day, Lieutenant,” Brad said before hanging up.
Spoony was setting up the plan to go in and try to find the creep and hit a snag. How was he going to be able to decide which tall blond guy was the killer? He couldn’t just ask Brad to point him out, that ran the risk of him catching on and spooking. Spoony was thinking about taking the risk and just doing that anyway when Linkara showed up.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” Spoony asked, grinning.
Linkara raised an eyebrow at him and pointed at his watch.
Spoony groaned. “Shit. I forgot dinner plans, didn’t I? Sorry. It’s just this case…”
“I get it, trust me. Can you still leave, or do you want me to go bring you something?” Linkara asked. He was smiling, blue eyes clearly amused at Spoony’s expense.
Suddenly, Spoony had a solution to his problem. He could always lure the killer out. That was, if Linkara agreed to the plan.
“…How do you feel about going clubbing tonight?” Spoony asked.
“You know,” Linkara’s voice piped in through the ear-piece. “I’m Internal Affairs, this really isn’t my jurisdiction,”
“You’re only protesting because of the clothes,” Spoony said, grinning. He was helping set everything up in the surveillance van before he went in himself. And yeah, he’d rather not be wearing clubbing clothes either, especially not in front of the guys, but it was worth it just for the opportunity to tease Linkara.
“They’re awful. I can barely walk in these pants and this shirt is way too tight for someone my size,” Linkara said.
“Oh come on, you looked good to me,” Fields said, shooting Spoony a wicked look. “Maria and I wouldn’t kick you out of bed,”
“Hey! That’s my boyfriend you’re perving on, show some respect,” Spoony said.
Linkara gave a snort of laughter.
“Oh hi, Pot. Meet Kettle. Who was the one humming burlesque music and telling me to take it off in the middle of the precinct’s gym?”
Spoony’s men burst out into laughter.
“We were alone then, thanks,” Spoony said, trying to resist the urge to smack his men upside the head.
“Right. I’m almost there. And you owe me for this,” Linkara said.
“Oh don’t worry, I look forward to paying you back,” Spoony said.
The Lotus Eaters was everything Spoony remembered it being.
“This place is fucking loud,” Spoony grumbled. “I don’t know how we’re going to get anything done if we can’t talk,”
“Ah, come on, Boss,” Fields said through the carefully hidden earpiece Spoony was wearing. “Never underestimate the importance of body language,”
“Fields, did you just quote Disney movies at us?” Linkara replied from his position at the bar, a little incredulous.
“My daughters are in a mermaid phase, okay?” Fields said defensively.
“Sure they are. Now pay attention, Boss, Linkara. You’ve got a Poor Unfortunate Soul to catch,” Girard said, and there was a muffled thump that was probably Fields hitting him.
Spoony looked over at Linkara and made his way over to the bar, grinning like a predator who’d caught sight of his prey. “Hey there. You wanna dance? I promise, I’ve got moves like you’ve never seen,”
Linkara gave Spoony a once over, playing his part perfectly. “Oh really? I’d like to see that,”
“This should be good,” Reynolds muttered gleefully into their ears.
The music thudded and pounded, and Spoony desperately hoped that he wasn’t going to get a headache from it, because this would be the absolute worst time for that to happen.
On the plus side, he had Linkara pressed up against him and moving to the beat. But he couldn’t let himself get distracted. He scanned the room discreetly, trying to catch sight of any potential murderers. There were a couple tall blond guys around, but he couldn’t tell if they were who they were after.
“…There’s a guy staring at us from the top of the stairs,” Linkara said. Spoony had a feeling he knew who Linkara was talking about, and when Spoony subtly moved them around so that he could see, his suspicions were correct.
Brad Jones was staring at them, his arm around his wife. Spoony caught his eye, and Brad smirked and raised his eyebrows suggestively, pulling his wife closer. Jillian looked confused for a second before she saw who her husband was looking at and she blew a kiss.
Spoony couldn’t even imagine what his face must look like to cause Linkara to ask “What?” in that tone of voice.
“I think,” Spoony muttered, trying to hold in a laugh. “We were just propositioned for a foursome with the owner and his wife,”
“And that is the perfect opening,” Linkara said, shoving Spoony away and punching him across the jaw with much less force than it appeared to the crowd who were suddenly paying attention to them after Linkara yelled something about ‘how dare you’ and ‘I can’t believe you’.
The SWAT guys sounded like they were rolling with laughter in Spoony’s ear. Spoony glared at Linkara as best as he could when he was laughing himself on the inside. Linkara pretending to be angry was adorable.
“Fine, have it your way!” Spoony said, and walked off to the bar.
Everyone was staring at them. Including some of those tall blond guys.
“Well played, boss. Now we just have to see if any of them take the bait,” Jackson said.
Spoony watched Linkara surreptitiously over his coke. Linkara retreated to a booth in the corner and put on a good show of sulking.
He was approached a few minutes later by a tall blond man, who gave him a sympathetic smile and sat across from him.
Spoony watched like a hawk as the guy tried to pick Linkara up. Linkara allowed himself to be picked up, and agreed when he suggested that they go ‘somewhere quieter’. Linkara met Spoony’s eyes as he followed the guy out.
“This is it boys, be ready,” Spoony said.
Spoony followed them discreetly to the alley. Linkara kept up a stream of semi-flirtatious banter, distracting the suspect and letting Spoony and the SWAT guys know that everything was still fine.
The suspect was not, however, distracted enough to not pull out a syringe. Luckily he hadn’t noticed Spoony following them, and Spoony grabbed the guy’s wrist. The suspect was surprised and began cursing at them, struggling to get away. Spoony squeezed the guy’s wrist harder until he dropped the syringe.
That was when the rest of the team arrived. Spoony handed the suspect over to Jackson to be cuffed and Mirandized.
“You okay?” Spoony asked Linkara, who rolled his eyes.
“I’m more traumatized by these clothes than having to play victim. Next time something happens here, find someone else to be the bait,”
The door to the club opened and Brad Jones stepped into the alley.
“So it was him after all. I knew I was right,” he said. He gave the suspect a dirty look. “I hope you know that if for some reason you don’t go to jail, you won’t be getting back into my club. Ever,”
Jackson and Girard dragged the suspect away.
“Thanks for your help, Brad,” Spoony said.
Brad shrugged. “There’s very few things I don’t tolerate, Lieutenant. Using my club for murder is one of them,”
Dr. Hadley Lowell was a plastic surgeon by day and had helped develop a powerful new painkiller for his patients to use before surgery. Roses from Computer Crimes had heard about it and promptly dubbed the new drug ‘Zydrate’ after the drug in Repo: The Genetic Opera. No one else had found it quite as amusing as she did.
Lowell had been testing it on unsuspecting Lotus Eaters patrons. He admitted that when he’d injected Greg Cooper, Greg had gotten away. Lowell followed Greg and tried to keep things under wraps, but Greg had fought and Lowell wound up killing him. And he steadfastly denied that he’d meant to kill the second victim, repeatedly saying that he hadn’t known the drugs would interact like that and that that was why he was doing the tests.
Insano had scoffed, when he’d heard that. “That simpleton wouldn’t know the Scientific Method if Newton came and repeatedly dropped an anvil on his head,”
Spoony was just glad that the case was over now. Because he had a date with his man, his dog, a box of pizza and a dumb but fun action movie that he was not going to reschedule again.