Neighborhood Watch
Title: Neighborhood Watch
Genre: Fantasy/Satire
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mentions of violence, general creepiness
Notes: I wrote this at eight o'clock at night on a bus ride from NYC back home. it was really dark- I ended up scribbling it in my notebook by the light of my iPod.
The Big Bad Wolf rings the doorbell and waits.
It’s a hot day and he’s uncomfortable standing on the whitewashed suburban porch, hands in the pockets of his jeans. He’s stripped down from the flannel shirt he put on in the air-conditioned chill of the early morning to the grey t-shirt that pulls a little too-tight over the ridge of his broad shoulders. He’s shaved, combed his hair- made an effort to look presentable, safe. He hopes that it worked and wishes that he could dive back into his car, a beat-up second hand Toyota parked on the curb, and drive home. There’s still a lot of unpacking to do, cardboard boxes piled high in a living room mostly devoid of furniture, but his parole officer had told him that it would be best to do it quickly: to get it out of the way before he could procrastinate about it.
The door opens. A woman steps out, her thin yellow frame draped in a threadbare bathrobe, the terrycloth worn over her folded elbows. “Are you a Jehovah’s Witness? Because I’m not interested.”
“No, I’m not. Sorry.” The Big Bad Wolf flashes a nonthreatening smile, being careful not to show his teeth. “I’m new in town; I just moved in down the street.”
The woman blinks at him, unimpressed. Oh.”
“Yeah.” He shifts from foot to foot awkwardly. “I’m, uh. I’m legally obligated to tell you that I’m… well, um, I’m a registered fantasy offender.”
The change in the woman in immediate. She stiffens, her hackles rising like the cat the Wolf had met in the Penn- the one who’d been done for murdering a troll as well as fraud and identity theft- and she takes a step backwards into the house. “Get off my porch.”
The Wolf holds his hands up defensively. “I’m not going to hurt you, ma’am. I served my full term in the state prison and I’m reformed now.“
“You people don’t reform.” She hisses. “What did you do, steal someone’s baby? Turn straw into counterfeit gold? Cut up some poor girl and turn her brother’s into birds?”
The Wolf winces. “I’m obligated by law to tell you that I was arrested for kidnapping, entrapment, child endangerment, and attempted murder.” It’s a list he’s used to telling- his voice is flat as he recites it from the script in his head, long ago memorized.
“I remember you!” The woman’s been backing up steadily, and she slams the screen door in his face with a rattle, pressing her nose up to mesh. “You tried to kill that little girl and her grandmother, didn’t you? You’re that Wolf guy! We don’t want people like you living here!” She shakes the door for emphasis. “You stay away from us, you hear? You stay away from our kids!”
“If it’s any consolation, Ma’am, there’s a court order that bars me from going within fifty feet of a school.” The wolf’s tone has taken on a distinct hint of begging. “Really, I’m safe. I’ve had therapy and everything.”
The woman lets out a hacking cough and pulls a half-smoked cigarette from behind her ear. “You keep away from my daughter, you sick fuck!”
Behind his closed eyelids, the Wolf sees Red’s heavy wool coat, her creamy white skin, the dark hair curling around her shoulders in soft ringlets. “Ma’am, I promise, I will not go anywhere near your daughter.”
The door shuts with a bang, blank, hard, white wood in front of him, and he can hear the woman locking it from inside. The Wolf sighs, tired already at ten in the morning on a Saturday, and turns away to seek refuge in his car. He chances a look back to the house, glancing up at the attic window. A young face stands out against the dark of the room, a white heart-shaped portrait staring down as him with cool blue curious eyes. The daughter watches intently as he rolls up his windows and sticks his key into the ignition.
The Wolf starts his car, feeling anxiety curling in his guts like wood lice in a fallen log. He hopes that the day will pass quickly.
One house down, three blocks to go.
Genre: Fantasy/Satire
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mentions of violence, general creepiness
Notes: I wrote this at eight o'clock at night on a bus ride from NYC back home. it was really dark- I ended up scribbling it in my notebook by the light of my iPod.
The Big Bad Wolf rings the doorbell and waits.
It’s a hot day and he’s uncomfortable standing on the whitewashed suburban porch, hands in the pockets of his jeans. He’s stripped down from the flannel shirt he put on in the air-conditioned chill of the early morning to the grey t-shirt that pulls a little too-tight over the ridge of his broad shoulders. He’s shaved, combed his hair- made an effort to look presentable, safe. He hopes that it worked and wishes that he could dive back into his car, a beat-up second hand Toyota parked on the curb, and drive home. There’s still a lot of unpacking to do, cardboard boxes piled high in a living room mostly devoid of furniture, but his parole officer had told him that it would be best to do it quickly: to get it out of the way before he could procrastinate about it.
The door opens. A woman steps out, her thin yellow frame draped in a threadbare bathrobe, the terrycloth worn over her folded elbows. “Are you a Jehovah’s Witness? Because I’m not interested.”
“No, I’m not. Sorry.” The Big Bad Wolf flashes a nonthreatening smile, being careful not to show his teeth. “I’m new in town; I just moved in down the street.”
The woman blinks at him, unimpressed. Oh.”
“Yeah.” He shifts from foot to foot awkwardly. “I’m, uh. I’m legally obligated to tell you that I’m… well, um, I’m a registered fantasy offender.”
The change in the woman in immediate. She stiffens, her hackles rising like the cat the Wolf had met in the Penn- the one who’d been done for murdering a troll as well as fraud and identity theft- and she takes a step backwards into the house. “Get off my porch.”
The Wolf holds his hands up defensively. “I’m not going to hurt you, ma’am. I served my full term in the state prison and I’m reformed now.“
“You people don’t reform.” She hisses. “What did you do, steal someone’s baby? Turn straw into counterfeit gold? Cut up some poor girl and turn her brother’s into birds?”
The Wolf winces. “I’m obligated by law to tell you that I was arrested for kidnapping, entrapment, child endangerment, and attempted murder.” It’s a list he’s used to telling- his voice is flat as he recites it from the script in his head, long ago memorized.
“I remember you!” The woman’s been backing up steadily, and she slams the screen door in his face with a rattle, pressing her nose up to mesh. “You tried to kill that little girl and her grandmother, didn’t you? You’re that Wolf guy! We don’t want people like you living here!” She shakes the door for emphasis. “You stay away from us, you hear? You stay away from our kids!”
“If it’s any consolation, Ma’am, there’s a court order that bars me from going within fifty feet of a school.” The wolf’s tone has taken on a distinct hint of begging. “Really, I’m safe. I’ve had therapy and everything.”
The woman lets out a hacking cough and pulls a half-smoked cigarette from behind her ear. “You keep away from my daughter, you sick fuck!”
Behind his closed eyelids, the Wolf sees Red’s heavy wool coat, her creamy white skin, the dark hair curling around her shoulders in soft ringlets. “Ma’am, I promise, I will not go anywhere near your daughter.”
The door shuts with a bang, blank, hard, white wood in front of him, and he can hear the woman locking it from inside. The Wolf sighs, tired already at ten in the morning on a Saturday, and turns away to seek refuge in his car. He chances a look back to the house, glancing up at the attic window. A young face stands out against the dark of the room, a white heart-shaped portrait staring down as him with cool blue curious eyes. The daughter watches intently as he rolls up his windows and sticks his key into the ignition.
The Wolf starts his car, feeling anxiety curling in his guts like wood lice in a fallen log. He hopes that the day will pass quickly.
One house down, three blocks to go.