02. Kindness - Harry Potter: Marauders - 7_virtues
The thing he can't understand is how he can be so...
So...
Well, it's hard to explain. Sirius has tried to explain it to himself a million times over now but he still doesn't even really know what he's trying to explain to himself about!
It just struck when they were in the first year and Remus handed him the last half of his chocolate bar, sorrow to see it go to someone else evident in his eyes, but the smile of sharing something special shone more on his face. That's when Sirius really knew his friend should be in the dictionary under the exactly definition of 'kindness'. Not many guys would do that for a buddy, especially when their visits to a shop were so few and far between.
Then it was again when they were only in their third year and Remus was once again pale and weak from a particularly bad transformation the week before. His voice was softer and although he wanted to run around with the others he decided to remain in the common room instead, a new book from the library on his knees as he sat before the fire.
Sirius was worried, although he tried to appear that he wasn't. It wasn't quite a manly trait and James teased him often for babying Remus, thinking it was just because Sirius was a few months older than them all.
That wasn't it at all though. Sirius just felt it was so unfair that out of everyone he knew that it was Remus curses to be a werewolf. No one deserved such a life (well...Sirius could truthfully think of a few members in his family perhaps..) but if it had to be anyone at all, why Remus?
Maybe perhaps he was strong enough to survive it.
Sirius knew that if it was he who was cursed, he'd either kill himself, young and tragic, before he hurt anyone or...he'd eventually just let himself hurt someone so the inevitable would just happen around and be done with it. No point in waiting around for it to happen and then when it did wallow in shock and self pity after all. Sirius toyed with a strand of Remus's growing hair, it was sandy brown and almost down to his chin in an elegant straightness, it almost needed a cut, Sirius mused, and Sirius didn't even realise what he was doing until Remus looked up at him questionably.
“Uhh, you had a bit of quill in your hair.” Sirius covered quickly, wondering himself what he had been doing. Thankfully he and James had been ripping up broken quills before and the strands of feather were everywhere. “Are you going to come downstairs?” Sirius offered as he noticed James dart upstairs. “Jamsie and I are going to throw the Quidditch balls around a bit…”
“No thankyou.” Remus replied with a smile on his face at the nickname James absolutely detested. “I think I’ll stay here where I’ll remain dry and warm…”
It was a well known fact that any Quidditch game involving Sirius quickly turned into a wrestling match. In the snow…which was all fine and something you could stand until the snow started to be shoved down your jeans and under your jacket. That’s when it became unbearable.
“You need fresh air.” Sirius demanded. “Look, come outside and get a bit of colour on your cheeks and we’ll leave you alone! Promise.”
With a slightly doubtful look, Remus got to his feet after carefully marking his place in his thick tomb of a book and Sirius grinned, feeling a little bit better about himself. Being around such a kind guy such as Remus always pressured himself to do better. Or at least try to be kind to Remus, he deserved it.
It was again in the sixth year when Sirius was reminded, well…reminded strongly of the kindness within Remus.
He was pale and quiet, but this time it was mainly from the stress of studying for the important exams which would help shape their future. Remus knew he would need all the help he could get, since it would be difficult for him to find the job he wanted even if he had the skills and the best marks out of anyone who applied for the simple fact he was a werewolf.
They were walking back from Hogsmeade and Sirius was whinging (like a child he snapped at himself, when he looked back on it now) because his coat was saturated from a snowball fight. Well, not exactly a snowball fight…more like six girls had bombarded him with them as soon as he had stepped out from the pub. Remus, James and Peter had been hit by a few stray ones, but they were no where near as wet as Sirius, and as it was already bitterly cold outside, it wasn’t fun for Sirius at all.
“Here.” Remus had shrugged off his coat and scarf and was holding it out for Sirius, who couldn’t reply for a long moment. A long moment in which Remus used to pluck off Sirius’s scarf and hung it over his arm as if to dry it on the way back. Why they didn’t just use magic was beyond James as he watched on. He had to admit though; it meant a bit more to sacrifice such a thing.
Sirius didn’t know how else to react. If he refused, Remus would only clam up and besides…he was cold…
“Aren’t you freezing?” Sirius asked Remus as they walked on, Remus’s slightly small coat now wrapped around him, still warm from his friends body heat. Remus was even carrying Sirius’s wet jacket, holding it out a little even though it couldn’t dry in this cold weather.
“Yes.” Remus admitted. “But probably not as cold as you were, you can’t wear wet things in this weather. Anyway, it’s not that much longer until we’re back at the castle.” Remus smiled at his friend.
That really hit Sirius hard, he came from a family who weren’t nice as a rule and he knew his own family members, brothers and parents would never even dream of doing such a favour as that for him.
That night, Sirius uncovered a special block of chocolate that he had been saving (basically because it had whiskey in it) and after gazing at it for a long moment he disappeared down the stairs back down to the common room to find a certain someone.
“Here.” He offered gruffly after he had found Remus in an armchair before the fire, finishing off a Potions essay. “For today. And stuff.”
Remus didn’t take it for a long agonising minute while he scrawled the last line, his words still somehow neat even though he was ‘rushing’, even though Sirius swore his ‘rushing’ could still be rivalled by a snails movements.
Remus gazed at the half block of chocolate before he looked up at Sirius again.
“So…you either want to copy my homework, or you want me drunk for some reason.” Remus looked at Sirius in amusement. “What are you and James going to try and sneak past my Prefect nose tonight?”
“Nothing!” Sirius shot back. “It’s just for the coat. Which I got all wet.”
“It almost smells like wet dog.” Remus nodded in agreement. “But I can’t take all of this.” He broke it into uneven half pieces and handed the bigger part back to Sirius, bitting into his own hungrily before Sirius could object. Remus had always been a huge chocolate lover, probably because his family had never really indulged in it and he had been a ‘chocolate-deprived child’ as James’ mum jokingly said, always making sure to have plenty of bars from Honeydukes whenever Remus was visiting. It was interesting to watch him eat chocolate as well, because he savoured every bite whereas most scoffed it down and simply enjoyed the aftertaste. Not Remus though. He lived for every bite, and loved it even more when it was every so slightly melted so it disappeared on his tongue and coated his teeth and the roof of his mouth and his fingers, so the whole ‘chocolate experience’ lasted for double the usual amount of time as he licked every flick of it away.
Sirius fell into an armchair besides Remus without a word, bitting off a large mouthful himself, and watched Remus in silence, wondering what he had done to deserve a friend such as him.
“Thankyou.” Remus grinned at Sirius happily, as if Sirius had given him a gift of a chest load full of chocolate instead of now just a dozen squares. “This is fantastic.” Remus sank his teeth into the chocolate again and sighed happily.
“You baffle me sometimes, Moony.” Sirius polished off the rest of his chocolate in another two bites. “You really are just too kind for your own good. You could have had all that chocolate to yourself…and yet.” Sirius shrugged. “Dripping in your own kindness, just like that chocolate in whiskey.”
“It’s not as fun if you don’t share it.” Remus replied simply. “Want me to help you with your essay?”
Sirius chuckled to himself as he ran back up to his dorm to fetch a quill and parchment. Remus was an absolute nutter.
So...
Well, it's hard to explain. Sirius has tried to explain it to himself a million times over now but he still doesn't even really know what he's trying to explain to himself about!
It just struck when they were in the first year and Remus handed him the last half of his chocolate bar, sorrow to see it go to someone else evident in his eyes, but the smile of sharing something special shone more on his face. That's when Sirius really knew his friend should be in the dictionary under the exactly definition of 'kindness'. Not many guys would do that for a buddy, especially when their visits to a shop were so few and far between.
Then it was again when they were only in their third year and Remus was once again pale and weak from a particularly bad transformation the week before. His voice was softer and although he wanted to run around with the others he decided to remain in the common room instead, a new book from the library on his knees as he sat before the fire.
Sirius was worried, although he tried to appear that he wasn't. It wasn't quite a manly trait and James teased him often for babying Remus, thinking it was just because Sirius was a few months older than them all.
That wasn't it at all though. Sirius just felt it was so unfair that out of everyone he knew that it was Remus curses to be a werewolf. No one deserved such a life (well...Sirius could truthfully think of a few members in his family perhaps..) but if it had to be anyone at all, why Remus?
Maybe perhaps he was strong enough to survive it.
Sirius knew that if it was he who was cursed, he'd either kill himself, young and tragic, before he hurt anyone or...he'd eventually just let himself hurt someone so the inevitable would just happen around and be done with it. No point in waiting around for it to happen and then when it did wallow in shock and self pity after all. Sirius toyed with a strand of Remus's growing hair, it was sandy brown and almost down to his chin in an elegant straightness, it almost needed a cut, Sirius mused, and Sirius didn't even realise what he was doing until Remus looked up at him questionably.
“Uhh, you had a bit of quill in your hair.” Sirius covered quickly, wondering himself what he had been doing. Thankfully he and James had been ripping up broken quills before and the strands of feather were everywhere. “Are you going to come downstairs?” Sirius offered as he noticed James dart upstairs. “Jamsie and I are going to throw the Quidditch balls around a bit…”
“No thankyou.” Remus replied with a smile on his face at the nickname James absolutely detested. “I think I’ll stay here where I’ll remain dry and warm…”
It was a well known fact that any Quidditch game involving Sirius quickly turned into a wrestling match. In the snow…which was all fine and something you could stand until the snow started to be shoved down your jeans and under your jacket. That’s when it became unbearable.
“You need fresh air.” Sirius demanded. “Look, come outside and get a bit of colour on your cheeks and we’ll leave you alone! Promise.”
With a slightly doubtful look, Remus got to his feet after carefully marking his place in his thick tomb of a book and Sirius grinned, feeling a little bit better about himself. Being around such a kind guy such as Remus always pressured himself to do better. Or at least try to be kind to Remus, he deserved it.
It was again in the sixth year when Sirius was reminded, well…reminded strongly of the kindness within Remus.
He was pale and quiet, but this time it was mainly from the stress of studying for the important exams which would help shape their future. Remus knew he would need all the help he could get, since it would be difficult for him to find the job he wanted even if he had the skills and the best marks out of anyone who applied for the simple fact he was a werewolf.
They were walking back from Hogsmeade and Sirius was whinging (like a child he snapped at himself, when he looked back on it now) because his coat was saturated from a snowball fight. Well, not exactly a snowball fight…more like six girls had bombarded him with them as soon as he had stepped out from the pub. Remus, James and Peter had been hit by a few stray ones, but they were no where near as wet as Sirius, and as it was already bitterly cold outside, it wasn’t fun for Sirius at all.
“Here.” Remus had shrugged off his coat and scarf and was holding it out for Sirius, who couldn’t reply for a long moment. A long moment in which Remus used to pluck off Sirius’s scarf and hung it over his arm as if to dry it on the way back. Why they didn’t just use magic was beyond James as he watched on. He had to admit though; it meant a bit more to sacrifice such a thing.
Sirius didn’t know how else to react. If he refused, Remus would only clam up and besides…he was cold…
“Aren’t you freezing?” Sirius asked Remus as they walked on, Remus’s slightly small coat now wrapped around him, still warm from his friends body heat. Remus was even carrying Sirius’s wet jacket, holding it out a little even though it couldn’t dry in this cold weather.
“Yes.” Remus admitted. “But probably not as cold as you were, you can’t wear wet things in this weather. Anyway, it’s not that much longer until we’re back at the castle.” Remus smiled at his friend.
That really hit Sirius hard, he came from a family who weren’t nice as a rule and he knew his own family members, brothers and parents would never even dream of doing such a favour as that for him.
That night, Sirius uncovered a special block of chocolate that he had been saving (basically because it had whiskey in it) and after gazing at it for a long moment he disappeared down the stairs back down to the common room to find a certain someone.
“Here.” He offered gruffly after he had found Remus in an armchair before the fire, finishing off a Potions essay. “For today. And stuff.”
Remus didn’t take it for a long agonising minute while he scrawled the last line, his words still somehow neat even though he was ‘rushing’, even though Sirius swore his ‘rushing’ could still be rivalled by a snails movements.
Remus gazed at the half block of chocolate before he looked up at Sirius again.
“So…you either want to copy my homework, or you want me drunk for some reason.” Remus looked at Sirius in amusement. “What are you and James going to try and sneak past my Prefect nose tonight?”
“Nothing!” Sirius shot back. “It’s just for the coat. Which I got all wet.”
“It almost smells like wet dog.” Remus nodded in agreement. “But I can’t take all of this.” He broke it into uneven half pieces and handed the bigger part back to Sirius, bitting into his own hungrily before Sirius could object. Remus had always been a huge chocolate lover, probably because his family had never really indulged in it and he had been a ‘chocolate-deprived child’ as James’ mum jokingly said, always making sure to have plenty of bars from Honeydukes whenever Remus was visiting. It was interesting to watch him eat chocolate as well, because he savoured every bite whereas most scoffed it down and simply enjoyed the aftertaste. Not Remus though. He lived for every bite, and loved it even more when it was every so slightly melted so it disappeared on his tongue and coated his teeth and the roof of his mouth and his fingers, so the whole ‘chocolate experience’ lasted for double the usual amount of time as he licked every flick of it away.
Sirius fell into an armchair besides Remus without a word, bitting off a large mouthful himself, and watched Remus in silence, wondering what he had done to deserve a friend such as him.
“Thankyou.” Remus grinned at Sirius happily, as if Sirius had given him a gift of a chest load full of chocolate instead of now just a dozen squares. “This is fantastic.” Remus sank his teeth into the chocolate again and sighed happily.
“You baffle me sometimes, Moony.” Sirius polished off the rest of his chocolate in another two bites. “You really are just too kind for your own good. You could have had all that chocolate to yourself…and yet.” Sirius shrugged. “Dripping in your own kindness, just like that chocolate in whiskey.”
“It’s not as fun if you don’t share it.” Remus replied simply. “Want me to help you with your essay?”
Sirius chuckled to himself as he ran back up to his dorm to fetch a quill and parchment. Remus was an absolute nutter.