(no subject)
I just got back from taking a nice soak in the tub, so I'm actually feeling decent right now. Which is good, because it means I have energy to post and something's been on my mind.
I get a lot of emails from Christian websites, stuff I signed up for, but honestly I usually skip them unless the subject interests me. I feel crappy about that, but anyway. I happened to actually open one today, because it seemed like something that would really help me right now. It was about prayer.
Here's what I don't get: why do people talk like prayer is just a means to push their agenda along? They started off talking about romantic relationships, pointing out how foreign prayer is sometimes, like when you're first establishing something with someone. And I thought, awesome, exactly. But then it took a swerve. That was basically it on the relational point. By the end of it, they were talking about "effective prayer" and how awesome and powerful it is. Well yeah, it is, and it's great when amazing things happen. I've had a few miracles myself. But if that's how people look at prayer, it's no wonder it's so hard! That's not the reason to pray!
You know why I'm having a hard time praying? It's the relational part of it, because that's what it is. I know I don't talk to Him anymore, and I haven't for a long time, and that's what's intimidating about it. How do people reduce it to a business transaction? I don't mean it in a condemning way, not at all. I'd be less terrified about it if I could do that, but then it wouldn't even be worth it, which goes back to the previous point about why people find it so hard to pray to begin with.
I'm just putting my thoughts down, guys. Obviously I'm not a saint. I just admitted I don't pray a lot, so I don't think any less of you if you don't, or even if you're one of the people who are all about the business transaction. I just don't understand the mindset is all, not from a Christian perspective. I'm sorry if I offended or hurt anyone.
I get a lot of emails from Christian websites, stuff I signed up for, but honestly I usually skip them unless the subject interests me. I feel crappy about that, but anyway. I happened to actually open one today, because it seemed like something that would really help me right now. It was about prayer.
Here's what I don't get: why do people talk like prayer is just a means to push their agenda along? They started off talking about romantic relationships, pointing out how foreign prayer is sometimes, like when you're first establishing something with someone. And I thought, awesome, exactly. But then it took a swerve. That was basically it on the relational point. By the end of it, they were talking about "effective prayer" and how awesome and powerful it is. Well yeah, it is, and it's great when amazing things happen. I've had a few miracles myself. But if that's how people look at prayer, it's no wonder it's so hard! That's not the reason to pray!
You know why I'm having a hard time praying? It's the relational part of it, because that's what it is. I know I don't talk to Him anymore, and I haven't for a long time, and that's what's intimidating about it. How do people reduce it to a business transaction? I don't mean it in a condemning way, not at all. I'd be less terrified about it if I could do that, but then it wouldn't even be worth it, which goes back to the previous point about why people find it so hard to pray to begin with.
I'm just putting my thoughts down, guys. Obviously I'm not a saint. I just admitted I don't pray a lot, so I don't think any less of you if you don't, or even if you're one of the people who are all about the business transaction. I just don't understand the mindset is all, not from a Christian perspective. I'm sorry if I offended or hurt anyone.