32. audio. please make your socks shut up

[actuallyagolem]

[Hey ho, Donny sounds a little out of his mind fed up]

Alright, alright. I can hear you already! Please, for the love of fuckin'...fuckin' Teddy Ballgame, SHUT. YOUR. FRIGGIN. PIE. HOLES.

YEAH. I'm talking to you. I know you can hear me! I don't care if you haven't been washed recently, I don't care if you're on some guy's smelly feet, I don't

Comments

private; text;

[lost_undercover]

Having trouble, guy? [Guess who DOESN'T wear wool?]

private; text;

[actuallyagolem]

Finally. You've just got one voice.

They just won't stop talking to me!

private; text;

[lost_undercover]

What won't?

private; text;

[actuallyagolem]

Sweaters and socks and scarves and my own shirt. They won't stop talking to me.

And they're so boring too! And self-centered!

{Video}

[so_meretricious]

You sound to be in quite the state, Mr. Donowitz.

{It's good thing this is over the network because hey, almost all of Holmes' clothes are wool!}

{Video}

[actuallyagolem]

[Donny's removed all the wool from his outfit, which is...just about his entire ensemble. So now he's in a fuzzy bathrobe, hair sticking out in all sorts of weird angles, looking frazzled and just a tad miffed.]

Oh, I'm just jim dandy, guy. Just jim dandy.

{Video}

[so_meretricious]

You must pardon me if I do not believe you.

{Video}

[actuallyagolem]

Ever have the sudden urge to have a chat with your inmate's trousers?

Private - Text, strikethroughs readable if trying hard

[batmanschmatman]

Holy heart failure, what's going on?

[Also cotton is Dick's favorite material that isn't Kevlar. c:]

Private - Text

[actuallyagolem]

[hooray for cotton! :D]

Did you know that scarves are really talkative and pants complain a lot? Did you? Because I sure didn't.

Private - Text

[batmanschmatman]

Nope, I definitely didn't. Is it just your Batclothes?

Private - Text - aaaaaand I laughed. XD

[actuallyagolem]

No, it's all sorts of clothes. People walk by me and I think they're talking to me, but then I realize their mouths aren't moving and the sound's coming from their shoes.

[flashy_magic]

...who are you talking to? [Drake wears mostly polyester and leather with some cotton. You're safe.]

[actuallyagolem]

To the sweaters! And the scarves! And jackets!

And the socks! The damn socks!

[flashy_magic]

...are you some kind of nutter?

[actuallyagolem]

Are you some kind of asshole? Do I normally talk to clothes? Is there a flood going on?

Answer those questions, then get back to me.

[mrs_persson]

...Donny?

[Guess who has a lot of really sharp wool clothes?]

[actuallyagolem]

[Just gonna assume this is a safe bet then. XD]

Una. I'm real sorry I ran when I saw you in the hallway today.

[mrs_persson]

[Very safe bet.]

It's all right, but what's going on?

[actuallyagolem]

It's the clothes, Una. Clothes keep talking to me.