New Drabble: The Food Chain
Fandom: Fruits Basket (manga)
Characters: Tohru, Ayame, Yuki
Rating: G (for "comedy")
Notes: This is odd. Oh well...Had to get it off my brain.
"Since you are the snake and Yuki-kun is the rat...I was wondering if you'd ever thought of--"
Ayame sucked in a liter of air. "I AM UTTERLY OFFENDED! HOW COULD YOU EVEN PONDER SUCH A THING?"
Bowing frantically in apology, Tohru cried, "I--I'm so sorry, Ayame-san! Please forgive such a stupid questi--"
"You are mistaken!" huffed the snake. "To think that I, even transformed, would harbor such a base desire to eat my own brother! I, the sole protector of dearest Yuki's well-being and most lecherous secrets?" Making a righteous fist, Ayame continued, "Although it has been a lifelong battle, I have overcome the carnal urges of the snake to become the gentleman you see before you. I can assure you that Yuki's flesh, however tantalizing--"
"Uh...Ayame-san?" Tohru broke in. "I'm sorry. I was just going to ask if you if Yuki-kun might be interested in this book." She timidly held up a first-edition of Garden & Household Pests: How to Make Them Work For You! "I wanted to give this to Yuki-kun, since rats are always chewing up his plants when he's around, but I thought he might be offended about being called a 'pest.' What do you think?"
The silver-haired man's flustered face instantly brightened. His fist lowered. "Oh. Well, of course, Tohru-kun! I'm sure that Yuki would adore anything so thoughtfully bestowed. Now, run along and give it to him right away! The quest for young love waits for no girl!"
That day at school, Yuki was the baffled recipient of two gifts. An interesting-looking read from Tohru and a bouquet of red roses, which had arrived by delivery. He read the attached note:
Dearest Yuki,
I discovered that your love-striken Tohru-kun intends to give you a book toady. Although you are to be congratulated on your princely charm, now is not the time to be lax about your physical appearance. Have you ever considered marinati bathing in wine for extended periods of time? It does wonders for the complexion...and the fur!
Your Loving Older Brother
-----
Epilogue
"Ayame-san, is Momiji-chan around--"
"I AM UTTERLY OFFENDED! JUST BECAUSE MOMIJI-CHAN IS THE RABBIT, DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M PREDATORIALLY OBSERVING HIS EVERY MOVE! I CERTAINLY AM NOT...!"
*bow* "I'm sorry! Please forgive me, Ayame-san! I'm sorry..." *bow*
"Niisan! I don't have any 'lecherous secrets!'"
Hn. Maybe this is what a crack!fic is like... Anyway, I've finished 13 and now I have to wait for the library to get 14. (Thirteen was kind of tedious. Too much of the student council and no new plot development into the "juunishi misuterii" as I call it. And no Haa-san! Although I do have a minor crush on Nabe-san.) I may end up buying it, but what will I do with a random vol. 14? Once I've read that I'll be up-to-date with the American audience, right?
Characters: Tohru, Ayame, Yuki
Rating: G (for "comedy")
Notes: This is odd. Oh well...Had to get it off my brain.
"Since you are the snake and Yuki-kun is the rat...I was wondering if you'd ever thought of--"
Ayame sucked in a liter of air. "I AM UTTERLY OFFENDED! HOW COULD YOU EVEN PONDER SUCH A THING?"
Bowing frantically in apology, Tohru cried, "I--I'm so sorry, Ayame-san! Please forgive such a stupid questi--"
"You are mistaken!" huffed the snake. "To think that I, even transformed, would harbor such a base desire to eat my own brother! I, the sole protector of dearest Yuki's well-being and most lecherous secrets?" Making a righteous fist, Ayame continued, "Although it has been a lifelong battle, I have overcome the carnal urges of the snake to become the gentleman you see before you. I can assure you that Yuki's flesh, however tantalizing--"
"Uh...Ayame-san?" Tohru broke in. "I'm sorry. I was just going to ask if you if Yuki-kun might be interested in this book." She timidly held up a first-edition of Garden & Household Pests: How to Make Them Work For You! "I wanted to give this to Yuki-kun, since rats are always chewing up his plants when he's around, but I thought he might be offended about being called a 'pest.' What do you think?"
The silver-haired man's flustered face instantly brightened. His fist lowered. "Oh. Well, of course, Tohru-kun! I'm sure that Yuki would adore anything so thoughtfully bestowed. Now, run along and give it to him right away! The quest for young love waits for no girl!"
That day at school, Yuki was the baffled recipient of two gifts. An interesting-looking read from Tohru and a bouquet of red roses, which had arrived by delivery. He read the attached note:
Dearest Yuki,
I discovered that your love-striken Tohru-kun intends to give you a book toady. Although you are to be congratulated on your princely charm, now is not the time to be lax about your physical appearance. Have you ever considered marinati bathing in wine for extended periods of time? It does wonders for the complexion...and the fur!
Your Loving Older Brother
-----
Epilogue
"Ayame-san, is Momiji-chan around--"
"I AM UTTERLY OFFENDED! JUST BECAUSE MOMIJI-CHAN IS THE RABBIT, DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M PREDATORIALLY OBSERVING HIS EVERY MOVE! I CERTAINLY AM NOT...!"
*bow* "I'm sorry! Please forgive me, Ayame-san! I'm sorry..." *bow*
"Niisan! I don't have any 'lecherous secrets!'"
Hn. Maybe this is what a crack!fic is like... Anyway, I've finished 13 and now I have to wait for the library to get 14. (Thirteen was kind of tedious. Too much of the student council and no new plot development into the "juunishi misuterii" as I call it. And no Haa-san! Although I do have a minor crush on Nabe-san.) I may end up buying it, but what will I do with a random vol. 14? Once I've read that I'll be up-to-date with the American audience, right?