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[adalius]

I wasn't going to go drinking tonight. I really wasn't. I went out to the bowling alley with my grandpa, had a drink, brought dinner back with us to grandma and the gardener since she stuck around to chat with grandma most of the night. Then I went to the bar. My ex called me earlier today and was really aggressive and bitchy to me and I was still

Comments

[zenandtheart]

Just simply having to go through all these shitty feeling is...shit. And partially unavoidable. I've been turning to a couple of drinks before bed almost every night for the last fortnight because I'm far less afraid of alcohol than addiction to benzos. Not that I haven't been taking small amounts of those too, half the time.
All people can tell me is time is the key. I know it's true but it's so hard to just wait and wait. You've been going through this for way longer than me and you're still suffering, it's making me wonder what's in my future:P.

Ah, it's so strange to want to spend a long evening drinking and bitching and laughing with someone I've never even properly met.
One day:).

[adalius]

:) It's only been what.... 11? years of us chatting? :P

[zenandtheart]

not the same! But still awesome;).

[adalius]

Oh, and for note, I'm still suffering because I'm forced to interact with her on a semi-regular basis, plus the ongoing court shit she got me into, and the fact that the divorce is being dragged out because she's pregnant. I'm positive you'll be sorted out and feeling much better before I will. :P

[zenandtheart]

I'm freaking hopeless with Skype. My name is amandalenon, does that help you find me?

[adalius]

I sent you a contact request. So I think you just need to accept it. I already had you on there but it wasn't a formal request so I don't get to see when you are online.

[_gethsemane_]

When I lived in a horrible house with horrible people, I was drinking all the time. There were times when I'd get tipsy or drunk when I wasn't at home, mostly out with peeps or at my bf's place.

I was aware I was doing it and I was aware why, but I pretty much accepted from time to time I'd rather drink vodka and have the associated effects, than feel totally stressed out and like utter shit.

If it a sure fire release of tension.

I do recommend gut-wrenching exercise. Like really, really thrashing yourself physically. I do pole-fit classes and a pole course and if things are eating up my head I throw myself into that hour and come away legs wobbling, sweating my soul out - then I sleep like a brick.

As long as you're trying to find other ways to relieve tension first, I'd say booze versus all consuming frustration is the lesser of 2 evils.

[adalius]

The problem with exercise, which used to work really well for me, is that now from work I have 2 bum knees and I had open heart surgery 10 years ago so I'm not supposed to lift any weight over 11kgs, and the tumor on my heart crushed the top part of one of my lungs so I have less lung capacity which makes cardio a real bitch on top of the knees. :(

But that's why I've been swimming as much as I can, that seems to work well.

[adalius]

Also, at least you chose vodka, the king of alcohol. :D