Unrequited Love
Lover All Alone - Clay Aiken
Maybe I’ve convinced myself, I’ve really been in love
And I’ve been wrong, All along.
For all I know the feeling and the picture
That I’ve tried so hard to find isn’t mine.
Could be it’s all just a waiting game
Wanna share my everything.
His retreating shape leaves the stage within moments. It is a relief that he is safe, but it gives the added pressure that I am not. But, to be honest I don’t care. My one love is safe, and that is all that matters to me at this moment in time. Although, to put a damper on my extravagant feelings, it is only one sided. He has a wife that he is madly in love with. And I am just the temporary best friend to get him through the competition for the moment. It was quite feasible that we would stay friends, but in my heart of hearts, I knew that what we had here, was going to only be possible here.
And on my own it’s hard to tell my heart it will be all right
This love it holds, will one day find a home.
As hard as love can be, it’s harder still it seems
To be a lover all alone without love.
His tousled brown hair makes my heart skip a beat as I gaze upon his smiling features. But then I have to remember to reel myself in and keep this longing and love all to myself. I’m in love with one of my competitors, and there are many nights where I just want to jump on him and ravish him entirely. Just to hear his echoing cries of want and I also want to hear him, just once, scream my name for everyone to hear. It makes me wonder how I am able to hold all of my feelings in sometimes.
Picking up the pieces makes me wonder if
I only built it all, to watch it fall
The faster it can go away it means the less of me
Has gone to stay. I’m ok.
But a lonesome tomorrow comes anyway
I’m alone for another day. Another day.
I built this friendship up to nurture it and to see that maybe one day, he would feel the same about me. But maybe what my true purpose was amounting to be, was to build it up and watch it fall on top of me, crushing my feelings entirely. The more this competition goes on, this is the most possible explanation for my actions. And the faster this comes to an end, the faster I get crushed again. I’ll be ok after a while, I always am. Tomorrow is another day, and yes I will be alone, but at least Kris will be happy.
And on my own it’s hard to tell my heart it will be all right
That this love it holds, will one day find a home.
As hard as love can be, it’s harder still it seems
To be a lover all alone without love.
Now my heart is cracking as we are both off to bed for the night. Tomorrow we will both be leaving for the homecoming celebrations, and well… I hope my love will find a home there. Although in the case of me, it is going to be hard to find. Why must I always be so alone. Even in the case of Cheeks it was just a fling for him. I always wear my heart on my sleeve and never get anything in return. Paula was right… I really did tear my heart out and leave it on the stage two weeks ago.
And on my own it’s hard to tell my heart it will be all right
And this love it holds, will one day find a home.
As hard as love can be, it’s harder still it seems
To be a lover all alone without love.
A lover all alone without love.
I will be alright eventually. This being my last thought of each and every day I am on this damn show. I intend to be successful with or without Kris and eventually I will find a lover who loves me back. Until then, I will be left pining after kris silently. Sometimes I think he realizes my feelings, and sometimes it seems like he has the same ones. But, I know now that his wife is the most important thing in the world to him and I will always come in second.
Maybe I’ve convinced myself, I’ve really been in love.
But I’ve been wrong, all along.