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[adamlizz]

Okay, let's start at the basic two assumptions: A, communication is important in a relationship, and B, "being in love" and "loving" is not the same thing. Now I'll say something that people might agree with but you'd be surprised how many don't internalise the message: Just being in love is not enough to hold a good healthy relationship

Comments

Preaching to the choir

[lisilka]

Well put. :)

As any "old married couple" knows (and I'll toss myself in there, after a decade of the same man), if you're going to have a solid base for a relationship, there has to be more under your feet than fluffy dreams and clouds.

You need a weathered ship, something solid that won't be broken to bits by a storm, that can drift content with the flow, but where you're not going to go insane with boredom (enter the personal space, with plenty of room for differing hobbies & friends).

Anita

[adamlizz]

:)

Just trying to put into words all the growling and hand-waving and sputtering in anger while pointing at things. ;)

[muse_attack]

And if people have been trying to work on said relationship for six months, and they still can barely communicate on basic levels and still try to control and "assimilate" the other, then something is seriously fucked up and maybe, just maybe, it's time to do serious therapy, or just break up.

Well put.

[adamlizz]

thanks :)

[trinaest]

Preserving the relationship at the cost of one of the pair's personality and character is just wrong. Letting go of your true self in order to please the value system of another is just wrong.

*nodsnods* As someone who's just about to be divorced...HELL YEAH. At some point, if you find that you're continuously subverting your own values to accommodate theirs, you just have to stop. Or risk completely losing yourself.

[adamlizz]

*hugs*. good luck, and good for you.

[leetal]

Maybe not the exact timeframe (to each couple their own, imo), but of course I agree, as I assume most people reading this do.

Now if you tell us what this is about, I assume some of us will see "the other side" of things, and we can bring it down from theory and actually talk ab out it.

[adamlizz]

[actually talk ab out it]

no, thank you.