30 days of writing challenge on/tae intervention day 4
Intervention is not on the prompt list but I chose it to use because it fit where I wanted this to go.
1377 words They aren't holding hands; aren't even touching but Taemin feels strange because they aren't.
Intervention
Kibum gives both Jinki and Taemin a hard look with narrowed eyes and set lips when they walk out of Jinki's room. They aren't holding hands; aren't even touching but Taemin feels strange because they aren't. He can feel the old familiar desire to touch Jinki, to have some form of contact between them if only the light tangle of mere fingertips. He glances at Jinki and thinks Jinki probably has that same feeling, even more so.
Up til now he's been used to thinking of Jinki as strong, someone to lean on, someone to depend on. There's a guilty quiver inside him that tells him he's taken advantage of Jinki based on the assumption that the leader would just always be there. He meets Kibum's glance and lifts his shoulders in a slight shrug, stepping forward a little as if to shield Jinki from the wrath of Key if necessary.
"I'm a jerk," Taemin mumbles in a very low voice. "We're... talking," he explains, knowing that this is hardly going to satisfy Kibum.
"Yes you are," Key agrees without missing a beat, laying his trademark morning spatula aside and grabbing Minho's shirt to pull him to the stove to watch the ramyun in the pot. "I'm amazed Jinki hyung even speaks to you," Kibum adds and takes hold of both Taemin and Jinki's arms.
"Kibum," Jinki begins. He feels dazed, shell shocked, and takes a breath trying to pull his head out of his own thoughts and concentrate. "We have that thing this morning..."
"I know, hyung," Kibum says, pulling on Jinki's arm and then Taemin. He parks them in the living area, pushing Taemin a bit roughly onto a round ottoman then guiding Jinki with more respect into the chair opposite. "I'm watching the time."
Taemin fidgets a little, irritated by Kibum's OCD having a flare up just at this precise moment. He's not sure that what he and Jinki need right now is to have to look each other in the face. Well, more importantly, he's not sure that Jinki really wants to look at his face right now.
"Do we at least get coffee?" he asks as Kibum and Jinki stare at each other in some kind of silent communication.
"Maybe," Kibum snaps and turns and stalks back into the kitchen.
Taemin stares at his hands. There's a million things he wants to say and none of them are going to be easy to speak, and some of them he suddenly thinks he should keep quiet about.
"I understand, you know," Jinki says in the silence between them. He's feeling embarrassed now, ashamed of his emotional break down in the night. He's not a kid any more, maybe he never really was one. Taemin's spent the majority of his life doing... SHINee... it's understandable he should want to find out if there's more out there than just...him. Plain old Lee Jinki.
"That makes one of us, hyung," Taemin answers slowly. "I never wanted to hurt you. I mean... it was never in my mind... never had any desire or reason." He drags his teeth against his lip, closing his mouth over the statement. "That wasn't... "
"I know that," Jinki interrupts. He pauses to look up as Minho saunters across the room with two mugs of coffee for them, Taemin's rather heavily sweetened. "Thanks,"
"Thank you, hyung," Taemin says quickly, cupping the mug in his hands and letting the warmth of the coffee seep into his palms.
"Mmm hmmm," Minho stares at them for a moment, then walks away.
Taemin leans forward and touches Jinki's arm with his warmed fingers. "It's hard to live this way. Management has this idea about who we are... who we should be. We've all had to deal with it... hell most the time they try to force you to be something you aren't instead of what you are. I'm just lucky that I'm the ditzy maknae... no one expects too much from me as long as I show up on time and don't mess up the choreography too badly." He makes a face as he speaks, a trace of bitterness in his voice.
"But you've proven you're more than your casting, Taemin. Your singing, your dancing have both improved so much more than anyone could have expected.... you're incredible." Jinki's praise is honest and forthright, but he immediately hides behind a long sip of his coffee. He can feel Taemin's hand on his skin, so warm.
"They don't really care, Jinki. Not really. I care. You care. But management... not so much." Taemin shakes his head a little and sighs. "And this cross dressing shit and then us being extremly incredibly gay for each other..." He pushes his hair up out of his face with a quick press of his fingers. "I looked around and wondered if I was going to be the honorary girl in your vicinity for the rest of my life. It freaked me out. I felt like I was drowning."
Jinki doesn't mean to but he pulls back a little bit, retreating into the chair at these words, trying to wrap his head around them. He takes another sip from his mug. "I never thought of you as a girl, Taemin. And I never liked all this funny haha flower boy stuff either. I told them so." There's a small voice in the back of his mind wanting to demand why Taemin just didn't talk to him about all this... why there couldn't have been some other way to deal with this than for them to just be broken apart.
"I know. I know you don't. I know you didn't. But I'm not completely oblivious. Youv'e got your own battles to fight. It felt wrong... and okay feminine to just lay all this in your lap and bat my lashes and tell you to fix it all." Taemin tries to keep his voice even but there's a thread of pain and anger in the way he speaks of his dilemma.
Jinki perks his brows a bit and studies Taemin's face. "So, you're saying you didn't want me to fix your problems for you," he murmurs slowly. "Did it ever occur to you that I probably couldn't with the best will in the world and would tell you that? And that instead I would try to comfort you for the way you felt? You have a legitimate concern, I think."
Taemin's mouth goes a little sulky. "You have a tendency to be overprotective about me. It wasn't helping me with how I felt about myself and I couldn't tell you to stop it because that would hurt you."
"So instead you told me you thought we should see other people because you wanted to fuck around?" Jinki's voice is mild for the most part but his gaze is incredulous and hurt.
"I never said I wanted to fuck around," Taemin protests. "I said... I said I might... want to try things. Maybe." He fidgets with his now empty coffee mug.
"Close enough." Jinki retorts and puts his own mug down on a side table, ruffling his fingers through his hair.
There's a silence between them for several moments. Taemin opens his mouth once or twice but closes it again without speaking.
"So did you?" Jinki asks Taemin's knee tensely.
"Did I...oh. Um. Not...I.." Taemin takes a deep breath. "I tried making out with a girl or two, just to see. And I had a date with a guy but... I ended up pretending to be really really sick so... nothing happened." He's blushing faintly as he confesses the extent of his sins, small though they are.
"Oh." Jinki doesn't say anything more and Kibum yells into the living room that they have 15 minutes apiece to take a shower and get on some clothes before they are due to hair and makeup.
Taemin makes a small face, peering up at Jinki as he stands. He rubs his hands together. "You can grab the shower first."
"Alright." Jinki takes a breath and lets it out slowly, winding his fingers through Taemin's hair and giving a brief tug. "Okay."
"Okay," Taemin echoes feeling a large and heavy weight beginning to slide from his shoulders.
Restless, Accusation, Tremble
1377 words They aren't holding hands; aren't even touching but Taemin feels strange because they aren't.
Intervention
Kibum gives both Jinki and Taemin a hard look with narrowed eyes and set lips when they walk out of Jinki's room. They aren't holding hands; aren't even touching but Taemin feels strange because they aren't. He can feel the old familiar desire to touch Jinki, to have some form of contact between them if only the light tangle of mere fingertips. He glances at Jinki and thinks Jinki probably has that same feeling, even more so.
Up til now he's been used to thinking of Jinki as strong, someone to lean on, someone to depend on. There's a guilty quiver inside him that tells him he's taken advantage of Jinki based on the assumption that the leader would just always be there. He meets Kibum's glance and lifts his shoulders in a slight shrug, stepping forward a little as if to shield Jinki from the wrath of Key if necessary.
"I'm a jerk," Taemin mumbles in a very low voice. "We're... talking," he explains, knowing that this is hardly going to satisfy Kibum.
"Yes you are," Key agrees without missing a beat, laying his trademark morning spatula aside and grabbing Minho's shirt to pull him to the stove to watch the ramyun in the pot. "I'm amazed Jinki hyung even speaks to you," Kibum adds and takes hold of both Taemin and Jinki's arms.
"Kibum," Jinki begins. He feels dazed, shell shocked, and takes a breath trying to pull his head out of his own thoughts and concentrate. "We have that thing this morning..."
"I know, hyung," Kibum says, pulling on Jinki's arm and then Taemin. He parks them in the living area, pushing Taemin a bit roughly onto a round ottoman then guiding Jinki with more respect into the chair opposite. "I'm watching the time."
Taemin fidgets a little, irritated by Kibum's OCD having a flare up just at this precise moment. He's not sure that what he and Jinki need right now is to have to look each other in the face. Well, more importantly, he's not sure that Jinki really wants to look at his face right now.
"Do we at least get coffee?" he asks as Kibum and Jinki stare at each other in some kind of silent communication.
"Maybe," Kibum snaps and turns and stalks back into the kitchen.
Taemin stares at his hands. There's a million things he wants to say and none of them are going to be easy to speak, and some of them he suddenly thinks he should keep quiet about.
"I understand, you know," Jinki says in the silence between them. He's feeling embarrassed now, ashamed of his emotional break down in the night. He's not a kid any more, maybe he never really was one. Taemin's spent the majority of his life doing... SHINee... it's understandable he should want to find out if there's more out there than just...him. Plain old Lee Jinki.
"That makes one of us, hyung," Taemin answers slowly. "I never wanted to hurt you. I mean... it was never in my mind... never had any desire or reason." He drags his teeth against his lip, closing his mouth over the statement. "That wasn't... "
"I know that," Jinki interrupts. He pauses to look up as Minho saunters across the room with two mugs of coffee for them, Taemin's rather heavily sweetened. "Thanks,"
"Thank you, hyung," Taemin says quickly, cupping the mug in his hands and letting the warmth of the coffee seep into his palms.
"Mmm hmmm," Minho stares at them for a moment, then walks away.
Taemin leans forward and touches Jinki's arm with his warmed fingers. "It's hard to live this way. Management has this idea about who we are... who we should be. We've all had to deal with it... hell most the time they try to force you to be something you aren't instead of what you are. I'm just lucky that I'm the ditzy maknae... no one expects too much from me as long as I show up on time and don't mess up the choreography too badly." He makes a face as he speaks, a trace of bitterness in his voice.
"But you've proven you're more than your casting, Taemin. Your singing, your dancing have both improved so much more than anyone could have expected.... you're incredible." Jinki's praise is honest and forthright, but he immediately hides behind a long sip of his coffee. He can feel Taemin's hand on his skin, so warm.
"They don't really care, Jinki. Not really. I care. You care. But management... not so much." Taemin shakes his head a little and sighs. "And this cross dressing shit and then us being extremly incredibly gay for each other..." He pushes his hair up out of his face with a quick press of his fingers. "I looked around and wondered if I was going to be the honorary girl in your vicinity for the rest of my life. It freaked me out. I felt like I was drowning."
Jinki doesn't mean to but he pulls back a little bit, retreating into the chair at these words, trying to wrap his head around them. He takes another sip from his mug. "I never thought of you as a girl, Taemin. And I never liked all this funny haha flower boy stuff either. I told them so." There's a small voice in the back of his mind wanting to demand why Taemin just didn't talk to him about all this... why there couldn't have been some other way to deal with this than for them to just be broken apart.
"I know. I know you don't. I know you didn't. But I'm not completely oblivious. Youv'e got your own battles to fight. It felt wrong... and okay feminine to just lay all this in your lap and bat my lashes and tell you to fix it all." Taemin tries to keep his voice even but there's a thread of pain and anger in the way he speaks of his dilemma.
Jinki perks his brows a bit and studies Taemin's face. "So, you're saying you didn't want me to fix your problems for you," he murmurs slowly. "Did it ever occur to you that I probably couldn't with the best will in the world and would tell you that? And that instead I would try to comfort you for the way you felt? You have a legitimate concern, I think."
Taemin's mouth goes a little sulky. "You have a tendency to be overprotective about me. It wasn't helping me with how I felt about myself and I couldn't tell you to stop it because that would hurt you."
"So instead you told me you thought we should see other people because you wanted to fuck around?" Jinki's voice is mild for the most part but his gaze is incredulous and hurt.
"I never said I wanted to fuck around," Taemin protests. "I said... I said I might... want to try things. Maybe." He fidgets with his now empty coffee mug.
"Close enough." Jinki retorts and puts his own mug down on a side table, ruffling his fingers through his hair.
There's a silence between them for several moments. Taemin opens his mouth once or twice but closes it again without speaking.
"So did you?" Jinki asks Taemin's knee tensely.
"Did I...oh. Um. Not...I.." Taemin takes a deep breath. "I tried making out with a girl or two, just to see. And I had a date with a guy but... I ended up pretending to be really really sick so... nothing happened." He's blushing faintly as he confesses the extent of his sins, small though they are.
"Oh." Jinki doesn't say anything more and Kibum yells into the living room that they have 15 minutes apiece to take a shower and get on some clothes before they are due to hair and makeup.
Taemin makes a small face, peering up at Jinki as he stands. He rubs his hands together. "You can grab the shower first."
"Alright." Jinki takes a breath and lets it out slowly, winding his fingers through Taemin's hair and giving a brief tug. "Okay."
"Okay," Taemin echoes feeling a large and heavy weight beginning to slide from his shoulders.
Restless, Accusation, Tremble