ok so i haven't written in my journal for a while. my boyfriend and i had a bad few days and it took us awhile to get back to somewhat normal. everything is ok now tho. i told him about my ANA and MIA. he wasn't happy about it, he didn't talk to me for 2 days till the night of the second. he came to my house at like 11:30-12:00, we didn't talk for ( Read more... )

ok so i haven't gained any weight even tho my family is making me eat. AWWW the joys of MIA. Well the bad side is i haven't lost any weight either. I really want to 115 or lower by xmas and 90-95 by may when i leave for endland. I so hope i can do this. My mom has now taken to asking me what i have eaten for the day when i get home from work. I ( Read more... )

AHHHHHH! My family made me go to dinner with them and talked the whole time about how i don't eat and this other crap. They wont leave me alone about it. Today the are making me eat with them so they can watch me. I feel so nasty and fat right now. I think it is almost time for me purg! I have finals soming up so i am stressed. I want to go see my ( Read more... )

ok so my boyfriend don't know that I am still ANA/MIA. He knows that i don't like my body and that i was dieting. I know he thinks I still am. He said that he thinks that i am and i lied to him and said that i wasn't and that he should just trust me. I feel so crapy i totaly binged! Now i can feel all that food and for some reason i can't purg. I ( Read more... )

Hey everyone. I have done so well today. My boyfriend wanted to go out to lunch and I told him the I wasn't hungry but that I would go with him. I sat there with him, watched him eat, and didn't eat once. It is getting late and i haven't been hungry all day. I ran out of green tea bags so i have to go buy more. I am starting the 2468 Sacred Heart ( Read more... )

I hate myself so much right now. I was doing so well nothing to eat at all. And my mom made me eat dinner. I so binged i didn't mean to tho. I tried to purg when i got to school and couldn't. Nothing would come out. I wish i could die. I can't belive i did that. I am going to fast for a longer time now. I am going to till next wed. NO FOOD. I will ( Read more... )

Yesterday was an ok day for my fast. I didn't eat breakfast or dinner. My boyfriend took me out to lunch so i had to eat, but i only have some soup. I threw it up after tho. I don't know how many calories i took in if any at all so yay. I weighed myself this morning and i am down to 121lbs. I don't think i am loosing fast enough so i am going to ( Read more... )

I am started a fast as of last night. I am 5'5" and i as of last night weigh 122lbs. I want to be down to 115 by xmas maybe lower if at all possible. i had 1/4th of a bagel and 6oz. of low fat yogurt. Thats a total of about 250 - 300 calories. That is really bad for me but i wasn't feeling well. I am going to work out when i get off the computer. I ( Read more... )

Well everything is fine with my boyfriend and i, yay! I was suposed to have dinner with his mom and hims moms boyfriend and him but we decided not to. We are you to another night. I was doing some christmas shoping with my mom yesterday and she made me try on what i thought was a really pritty shirt. Well it made me look so fat! Is it hard for ( Read more... )

well i lost another lb, i am down to 122. I have a problem tho. My boyfriend and I always eat lunch together b/c we work together. He knows about my ana and i told him today that i lose anonther lb but after that he acted different towards me. he never seemed to mind before and i really don't want to loose him. Please leave a comment i could use ( Read more... )