Another Flash-writing challenge
I found about about the challenge at bedtime last night; it was (is?) due before midnight tomorrow. I thought I'd just make a few notes, maybe sketch out a possible scenario before I went to sleep. Oh, no. My muse refuses to work that way. I finished at 2:30 am, 2 hours later. Here's the challenge and my entry. Let me know what you think!
4. Challenge: This is the Character Challenge: Write a story of about 1000 words (but not more than 1500 words) where you both develop a character super vividly, and also tell a good story. In other words, I should feel that your character is ORIGINAL and also WELL DEVELOPED and that you have told a good story with a beginning a middle and an end.
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THE HUNT
Lanai stretched slowly, silently, almost luxuriously. It pleased him to feel each muscle tightening and releasing on command. He had worked so very long for total control of every nuance of his body, but he never, ever took it for granted. He dared not. Far too often, life hung in the balance of that control; his life, the lives of others.
Shrugging off the coarsely knitted blanket, he rolled over and up onto his haunches in one fluid motion. He reached over and neatly folded the covering, laying it atop his woven mat. He would know if the others disturbed it. They would pay.
Standing now, Lanai crossed noiselessly to the cave entrance where the grey pre-dawn light was filtering in through the leaves of the bushes. No one else stirred. Fools and idiots. He had half-a-mind to let them starve. But that would just make complications later. No, he would provide, just as he always did, but they need not know the true bounty of this place - the fresh fruit and nuts, the tender stalks of redroot, the sweet sticky nectar. If anyone had cared or dared to share his risks, he would have shared his bounty as well. Instead, they were content to sleep in and let him do all the hunting "because you do it so well, Lanny!" They couldn't even be bothered to say his name right. He'd stopped trying.
Grabbing his spear and sling, along with a few extra snares, Lanai stepped out into the coolness of the forest morning. He let his irritation at the other castaways begin to melt away as he greeted the new day. They were only humans and should have been beneath his notice. They would have been if he hadn't taken the oath to protect and guide them. It mattered not that his guide duties should have only involved a 2-hour flutterboat tour of the preserve. Instead, they had been stranded here for 8 months. Lanai refused to dishonor his word, even so, but it was hard, very hard. Humans were so dense. He would never understand them. Fortunately, he no longer had to, at least for a while. It was time for the hunt.
Lanai slung his spear over his back into its sheath, put the sling and stones in his waistpouch, and held the snares securely in his tail while he reached for the sturdy branches of the bush, preparing to swing himself up into the nearest tree and head for the canopy. Aerial shots were the easiest for spear and sling to work effectively for the day's meat, and there were plenty of both land and water fowl that would make easy targets at this time of day. The humans had begun complaining about the sameness of the fare, but Lanai saw no reason to vary his routine when it worked so well.
He pulled on the branch, freeing it from its resting place, but when he began to swing up, something caught at his hindquarters. Startled, Lanai almost let go of the branch. He looked down - and there was the youngest of the humans, looking scared and hopeful, holding onto his spear sheath. Lanai caught his breath. For one, brief, heartscalding moment, he desperately missed his young. He longed to see/smell/hold them once again, even though it would never be, even if rescue finally came.
"M...M...Mr. Lanny?" stuttered the child nervously. "Plea....please, can I come with you? I can help carry things and I love to climb," it added. It held up a badly made sling basket woven from tall grass as proof of its ability to carry, Lanai guessed.
About to grunt a negative dismissal, Lanai hesitated. Had he not just been irritated with the humans for refusing to help themselves or learn what he could teach? And yet here he was, about to refuse to help or to accept the help that was offered, however slight. This was dishonor, and he could not bear to choose that path a second time. So he bowed slightly to the child in assent, knowing the cost for this honor would be high today. But the human child, so profoundly different from his own infants in so many ways, shared the one trait he could not resist: a desire to learn and to help. In the name of his own, he would nurture this cub-child.
They spent the next several hours on the hunt. Lanai was relieved to discover that the human - Reytshel? such an odd name - was a quick study and as good as its word. It was also surprisingly quiet in the trees, which made the hunt much more profitable than he had feared. In the end, they had seven sizeable fowl, along with two hare from the snares. Even the sling basket was sturdier than it had first seemed, and held the hare with ease.
The child had proved itself worthy, and Lanai was pleased. So pleased, in fact, that he almost forgot himself and spoke. Thank the gods he caught himself just in time. Instead, he used the universal signs to show his pleasure and praise. As a reward, he bade the child stay still and slipped into his closest cache, returning moments later with a glistening silver wad of nectar which he held out in the gesture of giving.
Seeing Reytshel's confusion and dismay at the gift, he mentally chided himself and, taking it back, slowly and carefully removed a small portion of the treat. Holding up one taloned finger, he licked exaggeratedly at the glob, making the silly human-like mouth grimace as he did so that he hoped translated into pleasure. Once again, he held out the treat to the child. This time, she took it and returned his smile with a small one of her own. Gingerly, she licked the silver stuff. It was all Lanai could do not to start screeching his laughter at the reaction the child made. Those wide eyes and startled round mouth could have been on any one of his own infants the first time they had nectar, too.
Together, companionably this time, they headed back to the cave with the game. For the first time in 8 long months, Lanai no longer felt so alone, and humans no longer seemed so alien. It had been a good hunt.
4. Challenge: This is the Character Challenge: Write a story of about 1000 words (but not more than 1500 words) where you both develop a character super vividly, and also tell a good story. In other words, I should feel that your character is ORIGINAL and also WELL DEVELOPED and that you have told a good story with a beginning a middle and an end.
------------------------------------------------------------
THE HUNT
Lanai stretched slowly, silently, almost luxuriously. It pleased him to feel each muscle tightening and releasing on command. He had worked so very long for total control of every nuance of his body, but he never, ever took it for granted. He dared not. Far too often, life hung in the balance of that control; his life, the lives of others.
Shrugging off the coarsely knitted blanket, he rolled over and up onto his haunches in one fluid motion. He reached over and neatly folded the covering, laying it atop his woven mat. He would know if the others disturbed it. They would pay.
Standing now, Lanai crossed noiselessly to the cave entrance where the grey pre-dawn light was filtering in through the leaves of the bushes. No one else stirred. Fools and idiots. He had half-a-mind to let them starve. But that would just make complications later. No, he would provide, just as he always did, but they need not know the true bounty of this place - the fresh fruit and nuts, the tender stalks of redroot, the sweet sticky nectar. If anyone had cared or dared to share his risks, he would have shared his bounty as well. Instead, they were content to sleep in and let him do all the hunting "because you do it so well, Lanny!" They couldn't even be bothered to say his name right. He'd stopped trying.
Grabbing his spear and sling, along with a few extra snares, Lanai stepped out into the coolness of the forest morning. He let his irritation at the other castaways begin to melt away as he greeted the new day. They were only humans and should have been beneath his notice. They would have been if he hadn't taken the oath to protect and guide them. It mattered not that his guide duties should have only involved a 2-hour flutterboat tour of the preserve. Instead, they had been stranded here for 8 months. Lanai refused to dishonor his word, even so, but it was hard, very hard. Humans were so dense. He would never understand them. Fortunately, he no longer had to, at least for a while. It was time for the hunt.
Lanai slung his spear over his back into its sheath, put the sling and stones in his waistpouch, and held the snares securely in his tail while he reached for the sturdy branches of the bush, preparing to swing himself up into the nearest tree and head for the canopy. Aerial shots were the easiest for spear and sling to work effectively for the day's meat, and there were plenty of both land and water fowl that would make easy targets at this time of day. The humans had begun complaining about the sameness of the fare, but Lanai saw no reason to vary his routine when it worked so well.
He pulled on the branch, freeing it from its resting place, but when he began to swing up, something caught at his hindquarters. Startled, Lanai almost let go of the branch. He looked down - and there was the youngest of the humans, looking scared and hopeful, holding onto his spear sheath. Lanai caught his breath. For one, brief, heartscalding moment, he desperately missed his young. He longed to see/smell/hold them once again, even though it would never be, even if rescue finally came.
"M...M...Mr. Lanny?" stuttered the child nervously. "Plea....please, can I come with you? I can help carry things and I love to climb," it added. It held up a badly made sling basket woven from tall grass as proof of its ability to carry, Lanai guessed.
About to grunt a negative dismissal, Lanai hesitated. Had he not just been irritated with the humans for refusing to help themselves or learn what he could teach? And yet here he was, about to refuse to help or to accept the help that was offered, however slight. This was dishonor, and he could not bear to choose that path a second time. So he bowed slightly to the child in assent, knowing the cost for this honor would be high today. But the human child, so profoundly different from his own infants in so many ways, shared the one trait he could not resist: a desire to learn and to help. In the name of his own, he would nurture this cub-child.
They spent the next several hours on the hunt. Lanai was relieved to discover that the human - Reytshel? such an odd name - was a quick study and as good as its word. It was also surprisingly quiet in the trees, which made the hunt much more profitable than he had feared. In the end, they had seven sizeable fowl, along with two hare from the snares. Even the sling basket was sturdier than it had first seemed, and held the hare with ease.
The child had proved itself worthy, and Lanai was pleased. So pleased, in fact, that he almost forgot himself and spoke. Thank the gods he caught himself just in time. Instead, he used the universal signs to show his pleasure and praise. As a reward, he bade the child stay still and slipped into his closest cache, returning moments later with a glistening silver wad of nectar which he held out in the gesture of giving.
Seeing Reytshel's confusion and dismay at the gift, he mentally chided himself and, taking it back, slowly and carefully removed a small portion of the treat. Holding up one taloned finger, he licked exaggeratedly at the glob, making the silly human-like mouth grimace as he did so that he hoped translated into pleasure. Once again, he held out the treat to the child. This time, she took it and returned his smile with a small one of her own. Gingerly, she licked the silver stuff. It was all Lanai could do not to start screeching his laughter at the reaction the child made. Those wide eyes and startled round mouth could have been on any one of his own infants the first time they had nectar, too.
Together, companionably this time, they headed back to the cave with the game. For the first time in 8 long months, Lanai no longer felt so alone, and humans no longer seemed so alien. It had been a good hunt.