i woke up early and walked to the deli for a breakfast sandwich. i made a pot of coffee, and drank some cranberry juice while i rolled a cigarette. i set up my two favorite blankets on the couch, rearranged the pillows for maximum comfort. i collected my various beverages and snacks, and made space for all this on the coffee table. i sat down on ( Read more... )

it's strange to me that i feel as though the total experience of feeling increased somehow and i carry with me the same sadness as before, but also more happiness. an emotional pack mule. how could happiness weigh on me ( Read more... )

i've come to the conclusion that the decision to drink, much like the decision to watch television, is a calculated attack against the pursuit of thought and truth ( Read more... )

i passed around my journal last night and asked everyone to write one line, just the first thing that came to mind. after the first few kids, i didn't have to ask; people reached for the journal of their own accord. i tried to take note of who reached for it and who had to be cajoled into writing, but there were too many people and too much smoke. ( Read more... )

what's that categorical question ( Read more... )

time bomb girl ( Read more... )

I'm glad your sickness is not caused by me ( Read more... )

i wrote this january 3rd, 2006. it's still true today ( Read more... )

today i told the nicest person in my life to leave me alone because i can't function like a normal human being ( Read more... )

many moons ago, my mother and i were carrying boxes into my grandmother's house. one of the boxes my mother carried held a gift she'd received from her boss; a really strange and beautiful ceramic sculpture. mom loved it and she wanted the family to see the wonderful gift she had gotten. i remember seeing mom drop the box. i heard the crash of ( Read more... )