I don't even...

[admiral_yen]

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so sick of feeling listless. I want things to hurry and move the hell on! This waiting and not knowing and working towards something but not seeing any kind of result... it's driving me nuts. I can see how people can be made crazy over a period of time

Comments

[umihana]

yen I can sooo relate! I try to think of it as the coasting after the intensity of school, but it's more like dead calm at times. Except for the calm part.

I've been meaning to wish you luck with your job stuff - Good luck! After all, it's the little things sometimes, right? And it'll carry you towards the next thing... I'm so good at giving platitudes to others, and avoiding changing my own listless habits! :P

[admiral_yen]

OHMYGOD YES dead space is more like it I think... it's nuts too cuz I went from doing a lot of really engaging and difficult stuff every day from 8am to at least 5pm most days that when it all came to a screeching halt... I literally had nothing to do with myself.

But work is all right. My first day wasn't so bad. It goes by a lot faster than I remember, but that's not a bad thing. I'm glad it seems to be a positive factor in my life right now, I could use it. And I guess having some fun on the road to discovering what it is I'm made for ain't all bad. Heheh thanks! I can always use the luck! Hahahaha bad habits die hard no joke. My next self-improvement step is to stop biting my nails. P:

[yira_heerai]

depression occurs without tears sometimes too.

Whoever said that tears were needed in order for someone to be depressed gets a slap upside the head. Hard. I've dealt with depression for years and so has my dad. For me, it's a lot of emptiness. It's hard to cry when you're empty. My dad never cries- or at least, I've never seen him cry. We both get irritated and angry easily but crying for ourselves and how sad we feel? Doesn't happen often (for me anyway).

Our circumstances are thousands of miles apart (quite literally in the sense of bodily distance), but I feel your pain. I feel it so hard

[admiral_yen]

Agreed. I guess that it's the stereotypical thing you just envision too sometimes, at least that's what I always imagined perhaps... people who're are anything else in the eye of general society are just considered apathetic and unmotivated or something... hm.

I'm trying to work towards something better. I don't think it's because I'm afraid of anything, but more that I'm just not feeling whatever it is that I try doing... but trying is better than nothing by far I think so there will be a lot more trying in the near future. I want something to fill that emptiness and with a lot more effort on my behalf it will be in the future. Thank you for the support. You need me either, you just call okay? ♥