boys are pathetic, they act more like girls than i do. i'm so glad i've lost touch with love (the big facisti ( Read more... )

diseased. everything i touch rots.. it's so easy to get sick of me, i should know.. but not so easy to get rid of me. perhaps i should cut their loses and stay away. yes, keep far gone, i should and shall. maybe next time i'll be smart enough not to attempt ( Read more... )

mr. johnny english dunn will soon be the new addition to my household. he looks just like zad did when he was his age and acts like him too. janet and i adopted him at the humane society today. he's being nuetered and then we get to take him home. i'm gonna go home soon and hang out with zad, i really miss him. i miss nick too.

nicholaus said that he's in love with me. he's in arizona visiting his father and clearing his head. zadfrack misses him.. and i do too ( Read more... )

mollie is the best girl ( Read more... )

i just showed janet lost highway, she liked it. i've been hiding myself away from everyone besides nick and sometimes his mom. neither my mother nor chase have heard from me in days. i like nick a lot more than i ever have but today he acted like an asshole when he got drunk so tonight janet and i have unplugged the phone and are ignoring him. ( Read more... )

at midnight i'm going to retrieve the cure's new album. it will be wonderful but for now i'm listening to the preview on mtv.com.

lost ( Read more... )

i think perhaps this panic serves it's purpose.. tonight is suda's night.

p.s. i miss jacques.

i had a mild panic attack on the way to janet's house. not to be confused with an anxiety attack.. panic attacks are much more intense and intricate and debilitating. i'll be down for a few days at the very least.. maybe up to two weeks. i might have to withdraw from my classes. it's really there, again i'm reminded that i am indeed ill. fuck ( Read more... )

holy shit.. i just wrote a really long assed entry and then deleted it on accident. fuck me running ( Read more... )