What to do

[wyndhamheart]

 So, I turned 18 about 5 months ago. I finally called the adoption agency to get the information to start the journey to meet my birth mother. That's when I found out, my birthmother has stopped responding and accepting the letters my parents and I have written to her since 2001. It's been more than 7 years, so, should I continue

Comments

[14pearl84]

Honestly If it were me searching I would try to find out what happened, why did she stop communicating through the agency? is she physically unable, mentally ill, moved away....? I hesitate to say right away "she wants nothing to do with me".... what if the agency just stopped forwarding letters? what if some of the letters got lost in the mail?

There are so many unknowns when you have a third party communicating or "playing telephone".

There is no law that says you have to use the agency or an intermediary to communicate with her. You can search for her outside of the agency etc. You have the right to updated medical history and to hear from the horses mouth what happened, why are these letters not in her posession.

There are lots of search angels online, lots of registries and databases.

Perhaps she stopped taking the letters because she didn't want agency personelle reading them or something, perhaps her desire is to have a 1:1 private relationship with you....

just my thoughts,
jean

[purpleberry]

Ask her how much she would like to catch up, Maybe once a year. It could of been too much for her. The pain can be so crippling, It can be easier just to close the door. She could of moved on to a real stable place or be dead, It's best to find the answers and hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.

[ouiserboudreaux]

Don't shut the door yet. It may not be that she doesn't want to be a part of your life