not my business, but...marseilleOctober 2 2008, 16:47:05 UTC
I'm on the verge of turning 60, and just met my birthson for the first time since 1970. We all seemed to belong together, at least for that day. I do hope he won't feel like you do. Sometimes people stay together because of shared guilt, and they may have been waiting for you all their lives. I don't know the circumstances of them giving you up, of course. In our case, we were just immature and pathetic.... Regrets do stay with people all their lives, and the bond a woman feels with a child doesn't get broken, only stretched painfully. It's understandable that you can't give her what she needs, but it's also undertandable that she still has those feelings. I hope that your pain and anger lessens with more time. Try to be kind to one another.
Re: not my business, but...artdaddyOctober 2 2008, 21:31:22 UTC
I think it's great the way you feel. My situation was very confusing and filled with lots of guilt and shame, and lies.
Once I got to the truth it wasn't so bad, but a lot was being asked of me from them, and they were not really my parents and for them to force that on me was unfair and had really very little to do with me. It was their lives that needed healing, I was just the by product of a wild night.
So they did what they thought they had to do, I understand the times, but I don't have to buy into their trip, I'm a grown guy with my-own life and another set of parents was not in the mix. I wish I liked my birthmother more, but she is an odd woman who makes very odd choices that I don't understand. And i don't have to , it's her life, not mine
I will let her be in my life but with limits. That's just the way I have to work it with her, she tends to-suck the life out of me with her guilt and neediness.
but that was my story, I am glad yours is going well, your lucky andd I am happy for you.
Comments 2
Sometimes people stay together because of shared guilt, and they may have been waiting for you all their lives. I don't know the circumstances of them giving you up, of course. In our case, we were just immature and pathetic....
Regrets do stay with people all their lives, and the bond a woman feels with a child doesn't get broken, only stretched painfully. It's understandable that you can't give her what she needs, but it's also undertandable that she still has those feelings.
I hope that your pain and anger lessens with more time. Try to be kind to one another.
Reply
Once I got to the truth it wasn't so bad, but a lot was being asked of me from them, and they were not really my parents and for them to force that on me was unfair and had really very little to do with me. It was their lives that needed healing, I was just the by product of a wild night.
So they did what they thought they had to do, I understand the times, but I don't have to buy into their trip, I'm a grown guy with my-own life and another set of parents was not in the mix. I wish I liked my birthmother more, but she is an odd woman who makes very odd choices that I don't understand. And i don't have to , it's her life, not mine
I will let her be in my life but with limits. That's just the way I have to work it with her, she tends to-suck the life out of me with her guilt and neediness.
but that was my story, I am glad yours is going well, your lucky andd I am happy for you.
good luck
artdaddy
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