Learning to Keep Your Mouth Shut - LJ Idol, Season 10, Week 8

[adpaz]

Monday is the 11th anniversary of one of the best, and sometimes scarriest, days of my life.  It's the day I first became a Mom and the day I started learning things I never thought I'd need to.  Like the fact that my heart can hold more love than I ever thought possible.  Or that sometimes you say things you never expected like "Please take the

Comments

[halfshellvenus]

This really is one of the hardest parts of parenting, and I think you have to remind yourself sometimes to let kids suffer the consequences of their choices, particularly if the suffering isn't particularly large. This is how people learn and form judgment, and without that they aren't really prepared to be adults. It's funny how much of good parenting is not simply doing things the easiest way.

[adpaz]

Yeah, it really is. And it's funny how your view changes when you get older. I remember being a kid and thinking my mom was so mean for not making it easy for me. But now that I'm older... I'm glad. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

[dee_aar2]

Oh wow ... I can so totally relate to this. That self control we need to build up as a parent to evolve a - " NO COMMENT policy " when we have an opinion and 'obviously the best and only way to do things' is the ultimate to effective parenting. You have brought out the best possible twitches that we could face in this endeavor. Well Done.

[adpaz]

Thanks! It's been a tough ride, especially when I'm being told I'm mean because XYZ. But I know that as the years go on, they'll thank me as much as I thanked my own mom.

LJI fav reads list, week 8

[livejournal]

User belenen referenced to your post from LJI fav reads list, week 8 saying: [...] the lips overlaid with a green and blue fractal pattern)" http://adpaz.livejournal.com/1162788.html [...]

RE: LJI fav reads list, week 8

[adpaz]

Thank you so much for consistently adding me to your reading list.

[fading_light]

I am not a mom, but I have a mom. My mom was/is the type of person to let me make my own mistakes. I had friends she didn't like, and when they eventually betrayed me in some way, she was there to offer advice and sometimes do thag whole I told you so, but you didn't listen thing.

She sees my potential, and she hates ot when I don't seize the moment because she was that way to a certain extent. For example, I made the decision to go back to school recently, and she was like "I knew you would eventually pull yoir head out of your ass." Yeah, it sounds insulting, but that is our relationship. She wants the best for her only child, but she knows I have to struggle through it so I can learn from it.

[adpaz]

Exactly! It's never easy - either as a parent or as a kid. (And no worries about it sounding insulting. I'm the same kind of mom - though with milder language because I'm dealing with an 11 and an 8 year old! :-)) Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

[my_name_is_jenn]

I'm not a parent, but I work with kids. And yeah, I know it's nowhere near the same thing. It's not even in the same universe as the same thing. :)

But I have learned to pick and choose my battles with the kids. Sometimes, no amount of "I told you not to do that!" will work, but them seeing the consequences is an instant lesson learned. It's hard though.

Happy birthday to your eldest and happy Mom anniversary!

[adpaz]

In some ways, it is. I work with kids as well as being a parent. And a lot of the things I've learned as a parent, I bring to my teaching. And vice versa (though I started teaching preschoolers after both mine were in school.) Picking your battles - as any adult that loves and cares for kids - is always the hard part. But isn't it so great when you see the kids finally start to realize what you're trying to show them? :-) Thanks for stopping by and commenting!