I FUCKING HATE MYSELF..

[adrianna89]

Once, just once. I would like to have an anniversary with Stephan where I didn't feel like absolute shit. No, not physically. Emotionally. And this time, I don't even know what the hell is wrong with me. It's 2:35 in the morning, I'm sitting in the dark in my living room, and bawling. I can't think straight. I can't see straight. My head hurts. My

Comments

[hahaufool]

Everything will be ok.I know you will quit smoking.I believe in you.
"Oh, speaking of goth. That's another thing that really pisses me off. Yeah, I had my stupid little phase where I thought wearing bondage pants and shopping at Hot Topic made you gothic. I hung out with all the mall rats. I played DDR like it was oxygen. ok? I admit it. However, I grew up. Fast. The black nailpolish came off. The black eyeshadow faded. The bondage pants are stowed away. Goth isn't possible to be in this day and age. Unless you are merely talking about the gothic mindset brought over from the midieval(sp) era. That was when true gothic was. Not these pussies decked-out in black. Oh yes, look at me! I'm an immature pre-teen and I'm so damn ugly that I wear these "non-conformist" clothes while really I'm conforming to the other misfit loser punks."

I'm glad you realized that because it was killing me.

[anonymous]

Take a very,very laid back approach to this whole thing. The smoking thing,I know you'll quit no problem. As for the stress and blah thing,just brush it off,fuck it,its not worth getting all hung up on. You have Stephan,and really,thats what matters. If people are going to be a bunch of babies about that choice,then so be it. You can be happy,and thats what matters. If people dont like that,then fuck them. Harsh,yeah,but life isnt all roses and cup cakes,you have to break some eggs and tell people to fuck off time to time. You'll be just fine Michi. And Im always here for counselling.
-Tyler-

[thisshadow]

I don't even know if you want to have anything to do with me.
I won't ever tell you I know exactly what you are going through.
But, I have been through similiar situations.
I cut myself for an upwards of fours years.
I cried all the time.
I have been scared of growing up and moving on and moving out and growing apart from things that I neer wanted to be far from.
I've been afraid of losing and hurting.
I've lost all of my friends (including your brother).
And I've hurt a lot, a lot of people and pushed a lot of them way because I didn't think I was "good enough".
Therapy might be a good anwser for you.
It doesn't help everyone...
But it's done a helllllllllll of a lot for me.
And you're not crazy.
Trust me you're not crazy.
I love you.
And I'm here if you need anything.
I just want you to be ok too.
If feels good when you start to get back to your old self.
But, it takes a lot of time.
I just hope it doesn't take you as long as it took me.

[adrianna89]

Lacey, I love you.
What are you talking about?
And what makes you think I don't want anything to do with you?
You're my big sister.
I know you've been in similar situations.
And I do honestly appreciate the advice.
I love you so much.

[thisshadow]

I was saying that because your brother and me aren't friends anymore and I was wondering if you had been taken a hold of by the conspiracy. Oh well. I get out of school on the 2nd and this summer you and me will take K-town by storm. I love you little. Don't you forget it.

[killedrocknroll]

Wow, take a deep breath Michelle. Chiiiillllllll..
You shouldn't worry about making every single little person happy.
All that matters is that you're happy.
Don't let other people make you who you are.
Trust me, that's definetly not the way to be and I'm pretty sure you realize that so it's not like you need me repeating what you've already said.
In any case, No I don't know you like a lot of other people, most of the time you and I talk about well, interesting things lol.
I think you and I relate to eachother more than we think we do.
Maybe I'm crazy but in some weird, twisted way, I can imagine how you feel.
Maybe not know exactly how you feel, but I can imagine how hard life is for you.
I mean, hell I'll be 18 in a matter of months and at times, I still feel like I get treated like a child. *Sighs*
Sometimes people just don't understand...