Must keep going
Must not let contacts die
Must keep friends alive
Must keep working my job
Must look for new work
Must keep fit
Must keep learning
Must keep reading
Must keep dating
Must keep talking
Must keep thinking
Must delight in the process
In the motion
In the growth
And expansion
Before the inevitable end.

To idle is to die.
And I must not
Despite how attractive
A Rest might be.

I try to write every day...
But what is there to write?
When your days dry up and blow away?
Unnoticed by nearly all?
I sometimes feel
I'm paying rent
On a coffin.

You don't feed me ( Read more... )

Free flowing, moving where gravity takes it ( Read more... )

I was in the house we had in Texas ( Read more... )

Greetings Specter.
What brings you here?
Curiosity?
Reconciliation?
Vengeance?
None would surprise me
And you would not be the first
To decide to haunt me
Dogging me to the end of my days.

I haven't left my house in weeks.
Untouched by sun,
My skin grows ever more pale,
Every blemish, imperfection and scar showing bright red
Until my skin turns translucent
Veins, organs, for all the world to see.
How is it?
Being able to see beneath your own flesh?
To see your own diseased heart beating,
Hungrily desiring that which
Would end it?

Loud. Thumpy. Dingy.
Unattractive. Uninterested. Young.
Vision. Long. Blond.
Hands on face. Body gyrating.
Interest.
Approach?
How?
Loud. Personal Space?
Eyes meet.
Smile.
Eyes close, looks away.
Denied. Sadness.
Another. Different.
Flannel. AXE. Buzz cut.
Intrusion.
Repelled.
Angry. Abscond.
Loud. Thumpy. Dingy.
Clueless.

It would kill you to know this
Because you hated her so much
But she was the reason
I was able to stay happy
Enough to stay with you.