Comments | advice: Overcoming Jealousy

totheminute in advice

Overcoming Jealousy

Mar 01, 2011 11:20

I can be a very jealous person. Does anyone have any advice for overcoming jealousy?

( Two examples )

Comments 5

leaf_kunoichi March 1 2011, 20:53:32 UTC

You answered your own question in the second one. You are bottling it up and presenting her and your so.

bender_927 March 1 2011, 21:23:28 UTC

In the first scenario, you highlighted the reasons you were jealous of the younger, more successful musicians. You grew up feeling inadequate and these people are serving as living proof. What you need to do is learn to appreciate who you are and what you have accomplished. People use other tactics like emphasizing the flaws of the other person, "Yeah, she plays well, but has B.O. and disgusting hair." but I think emphasizing your own positive traits is a much healthier (and productive) method. Stop focusing on him and her and focus on yourself ( ... )

seekingzen March 1 2011, 22:55:42 UTC

I understand this a lot, because I have my own issues with jealousy and even possessiveness. In my experience, it's been more effective to accept that I am a jealous and possessive person, admit it freely to myself and people who need to know it, and work from there. It simply takes too much time and energy to play at NOT being jealous and possessive when nothing in the world is ever going to change that aspect of my personality. And frankly, it's dishonest to do so, and I don't like that ( ... )

totheminute March 2 2011, 17:02:43 UTC

I never thought to just accept jealousy as part of my personality. Is it easier for you to behave yourself once you accept the fact that you are a jealous person? I would have trouble with that, unless I was seeking help from a therapist or another outside entity.

seekingzen March 11 2011, 18:39:16 UTC

Sorry, I wasn't watching this post and didn't see your comment until just now.

Yes, I do find it easier to behave better when I realize and accept what it is that I'm thinking and feeling, including bouts of jealousy. It's also easier to communicate my issues and needs to my partner when I'm able to admit to him that yes, there is some jealousy involved. On his end, it's easier for him to understand where I'm coming from and why when he knows my true mental/emotional state. Just remember, honesty is a good thing.