On top
I don't wanna be on top :/
I've been with my new guy for 4 full weeks now, and I've yet to offer to be on top.
He hasn't asked - but I also haven't offered.
I don't really prefer to be on top because (1) it usually hurts (hitting my cervix), but if I'm in COMPLETE control, it's easy to avoid that pain, and(2) I'm insecure because I wish I had a firm stomach. (I'm thin, but not firm - I know that's a sucky excuse, but that is my insecurity.)
I almost offered to be on top lastnight once I noticed he was getting tired, but my insecurity kicked in and I didn't.
I know sooner or later he will get tired of me always being on bottom - I don't want him to think I'm one of those lazy lovers in bed - I'm just not sure how to get over the feeling of "not looking good enough" when I'm on top. :/
He always tells me I'm hot, gorgeous, beautiful, etc... but he's only seen me completely naked when I'm in bed, in the dark lol - It's when I'm upright (standing, sitting, etc) that I feel un-sexy :(
(PS, I have a 20+ year-long eating disorder and body dysmorphic disorder, so I know that's the reason for my feeling like this - I'm aware of that, I don't need to be told that's my problem.)
I can't be convinced I'm gorgeous, but any sort of advice to try to help me get over the insecurity of being on top would be nice and very appreciated, thanks :)