I don't know anything anymore.

[novastrike]

I'm at an impasse emotionally right now about to step off a long rollercoaster of a household and... I'm conflicted, and looking for a 3rd impartial voice.

Comments

[cosmicwonder]

I'm truly sorry that you are going through this tough situation.

I don't feel qualified to classify your mother as emotionally abusive or not. Ultimately, I don't think classifications matter quite so much as how this person is affecting you and what you can do about it. I agree with you that it sounds like your mother has some deep emotional issues and she is dealing with them, in a rather awful way, by dumping them on you. That's not right, and you deserve to be treated better. However, I don't think she will be able to treat you better until she gets professional help. In the meantime, I do think it is better that you get your life together - moving to Seattle to be with supportive friends sounds like the best option. I really don't think you should just pass therapists off. There are many different therapists out there and you should give them more of a chance. At this point, you need all the support you can get

[leora]

When you were feeling suicidal, your mother offered to get you supplies to help you kill yourself with.

Leave. Get away. Get to a healthier environment.

Anyhow, yes, I'd call your mother abusive. She's a complete mess, and she needs help. Given the history you cite, she's likely trying and it's good that she's better than her mother. It's nice to see the generations working to improve themselves. But she clearly did not come out of that well. It'd be nice if you could do better, and part of that is getting away so you don't keep getting more damage inflicted upon you. She's clearly hurting you. She's also hurting herself, but there just isn't much you can do about that. Get your life together and do what you can with it.

[seekingzen]

This, absolutely. Pack your stuff and run.