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[badmoods]

i have been in a real life rocky long term sort of relationship for the past five or so years.. the same person that i used to cry over.. bitch about, the one who had a girlfriend at the start.. but "loved me".....treating me like shit

Comments

[leora]

Break ups are always hard, and getting out of a bad relationship is really hard. If you can get counseling, I recommend it. But a very good thing just happened in your life, someone who was causing you pain and was damaging your life just left you. It may not feel good immediately, but it is good. It doesn't matter whether anything happens with the new guy, because you have already won. Breaking up with your boyfriend is a huge victory. All you need to do to come out ahead is to not take him back. You need to practice saying things like, "No, we weren't healthy together; it's over." For when he comes back to try to hurt you some more. You two were hurting each other He told you repeatedly he didn't like you and you don't meet his standards. So, why do you want to inflict that on him and settle for that? The best chance you each have of a good life is not being together

[badmoods]

thank you for your insight. Im still struggling because i am now so confused... he acts like its gonna be ok.. then he's not really accempting it.. and tells me to fuck off..
and as much as i'm hurting because of my confusion.... i unusually am hurting that i'm hurting him too, which is stupid., i guess/

I'm not the strongest person, in fact i'm very weak it seems.. Telling him that i liked someone was hard enough.

I really want to be a lone i guess, but sometimes fear gets in the way and i dread thinking about life with out him.. is that only because hes under my skin so much and has been for the past five years because im dependent on the comfort (even though it was more arguing)?

but i do again thank you.

[leora]

I think the main problem you have is that you're human. There isn't really a good solution for that, but at least you're in good company. Yeah, you shouldn't really feel all that bad about hurting him, but having compassion for others is a generally good trait. Sometimes good traits make you feel bad in some situations even when they shouldn't, because they don't work out perfectly. That's tough, but it's also sort of okay. Time tends to help. One thing you can do is not feel bad about yourself for feeling what you feel. Just accept it and recognize that it'll get better with time. It's normal to feel a mess of conflicting and difficult emotions after getting out of a relationship you've been in for a long time