Trouble with Neighbor
I live in an apartment complex that houses three categories of people: 1)Building A 4th and 5th floors has battered women shelters 2)Building B 3rd and 2nd floors houses single women without children who are either just coming out of the shelter or have just gotten out of rehab or a halfway house 3)Building B flours 1-4 which houses either single women or women with children. Women ran the gamut from female college students, single moms, women with or without children, most of whom have chemical dependency, non-violent crimes, or domestic violence in their past. Many women have children's services in their lives. Most women aren't working because they're a) not allowed to yet (due to being on court papers and are so busy attending court-mandated classes that there is no time) b) they are on disability c) they're looking but not finding anything d) they're full-time students or e) they're milking the system Virtually EVERYONE is low-income enough to be on Whatever County Housing Authority.
I have lived her a year and nine months and I have a 12-year-old son whom I am trying to get back. I have an associate's degree but I cannot get a job in my field because during my active drug and alcohol abuse, I made some terrible mistakes and lost my job. I have been to jail a few times as well as rehab (twice) and a halfway house (once). When I successfully completed the rehab and the halfway house, they gave my son back and found this apartment for me. I did fine for a year and then lost him again, went to rehab again, and have been out of there for six months. I am nearly completed with all of my required classes from rehab and I should get my son back in March. I have remained clean and sober and I do have visits with him (twice a week in this apartment complex, once a week while supervised at Children's Services, once in a Celebrating Families class and once a wek when we have parent-son therapy together). This is to illustrate that I am no where near perfect and that I have personal experience in mental illness, so I do have some empathy for my neighbor. But She has caused a lot of trouble for me and our neighbors.
I have known who she was four about the whole time I have lived here, and while she has always been annoying for begging off of people for cigarettes, she hasn't been that bad. I wasn't sure why she wasn't working because she said she used to be an EMT but later told me she had been a STNA and another time told me that she worked with people with disabilities in the past but didn't explain why she didn't hold jobs like that anymore. My assumption was drug-addiction as she mentioned a child with Autism that she no longer had custody of. She said that she had always been her son's biggest advocate but that she lost him because people were ignorant on Autisma and blamed her for his problems. I am willing to believe that she had jobs like that and that she lost her son but I assumed drug addiction although she always claimed that she never did drugs in her life. I'm beginning to think that may be true and that it is because she is just plain psychotic (I have bi-polar myself, so I understand mental illness, but this is about to get ridiculous).
About four of five months ago, she called me up and she started talking about all these knives she had and said that she didn't know what to do with them. That sounded odd, but she said she couldn't put them in donations because a little kid could get hurt (fair enough), but that she couldn't throw them in the dumpster because someone could commit a crime with them. Then, when I was hanging out with her, she kept standing up tip toe to pull something off the fridge (a box) and it was the knives). She checked them out about six times in a 45-minute period. I looked at them too and they consisted of six knives of various sixes and a knife block. They looked a little old and kind of dusty but otherwise normal. I asked if she thought she was going to hurt herself with them and she said "no" but I was still worried so I took them. So then she kept coming up to my apartment to check them out. That got annoying so I finally contacted the social worker of the building and told her what happened. She took them herself and started talking to Neighbor.
Then about a month ago, Neighbor told me she had been mugged while walking back from a store late at night. I did believe her (mostly) because I had been through some terrible things myself before so I know it's possible in this neighborhood. I asked her to call the store she as near and the apartment complex and bar she as near as well as the police to see if they could find anything on camera. She adamantly refused and just went on and on about it and the amount of money and things she had had stolen increased in value. Having a necklace ripped off or getting knocked down hand having your cell phone stolen is believable. Her stories weren't. But as time has gone by, she has these experiences from once a week to (now) four times a day. She wins the lotto, inherits money from a dead relative, gets all this jewelry and $100s of dollars of food stolen all the time. People have knocked her out, hit her over the head with frying pans, toilet plungers ... not just people in the neighborhood coming out of bars but people in the building. She is naming names of people in the building and has used mine.
I wrote to the apartment manager and the social worker and they said they are working on it but that they can't take her to Rescue Crisis until she is suicidal. I reported her again, stating that I have heard from several residents that she has used their names and that they are afraid they are going to lose it and hurt her themselves (I did not use their name because I know they have not done anything to her). I am personally close to hurting her myself and I have been more than patient for her and helpful to her.
I no longer allow her in my apartment because one of my son's video games showed up missing (he "could" have lost it but if that woman stole it, I'm probably going to jail). There are several places within walking distance that offer free meals. She keeps talking about how hungry she is and the second she sees me come in with groceries (I'm on food stamps as it is and sometimes I go to the church myself), she's right up my butt and following me into my apartment. I have straight out said "NO! I JUST got home, I'm soaking wet, I have to pee really bad, and my son is hungry." Of course, we had splurged on pizza and Son's Name was eager to eat it up. Neighbor would NOT let up and begged for at least a can of beans. I just gave it to her to shut her up and she ripped it open and started eating them cold. So I *know* she is very hungry and I was raised that a) you don't eat in front of people b) if a guest comes over, you make room at the table and c) and you give to those less fortunate. Out of guilt, I ended up giving her my half of the pizza to her and took forever to finally get rid of her as she was encroaching on my time with my son. I explained (not the truth) that I wasn't allowed to have people in my apartment while my son was with me.
This is what REALLY set me off: I was nearly out of money this last week (I have been taking advantage of relative's houses, pantries and local Christmas dinners as well as AA Christmas dinners) and I was making a grilled cheese sandwich for my son while my makings sat on a plate. It was literally my last few pieces of bread and cheese and a can of soup so there was no way I could share. Son's Name opened the door before I could stop him and she literally came in and started in on me right away. Talking about being mugged and then she literally reached over and SNATCHCED THE CHEESE RIGHT OFF MY PLATE AND BEGAN EATING IT. She then had the nerve to ask me for food. I started screaming at her, grabbed her by the elbow and literally shoved her out the door and told her never to come back in. My son's sandwich got burned. Of course, she reported me but (thankfully) no one believed her.
My problem is, I have complained about this girl numerous times but she knows that I can't lift a hand to her without losing my son or going to jail. She knows many of us have to tread really careful. I have been more patient and kind than anyone in the building and she is really taking advantage. Obviously, I can't react the way I have in the past, but I am about to lose my mind. Staff is doing nothing about this. As she is not suicidal. I have told her to stay away from my room and from my son and I usually walk away from her but she is repeatedly asking if I jumped her or stole from her. I have never stolen from her and she KNOWS I am trying to put my lirfe together and DO NOT need false theft or assault charges. I am innocent of all that, but my past reputation can tip the scales to HER advantage.
I am really at my wit's end here. I am too poor to hire an attorney and one who gave me a free consultation told ME to stay away from her and find another apartment. Which is not really available this time of year especially since it has to be approved by children's services.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to force this woman to get help?