Muddled

Nov 16, 2010 19:57

So.. My boyfriend of seven months dumped me the other day ( Read more... )

breaking up is hard to do, relationships, moving on

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Comments 6

asdfghjkil November 17 2010, 01:35:37 UTC
Love is a beautiful thing. It's painful when you realize that you've fallen in love with your idea of him rather than the actual him.
If he is anything like what you explained in this entry, then you should also be happier for yourself. This is your life, so you shouldn't let him control how you feel. Doors close, and new doors open. Make sure that you don't let this issue prevent you from finding your actual prince charming.
Do your thing (:

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newsy891 November 17 2010, 01:42:45 UTC
No wonder everything feels so raw and muddled - this only happened the other day!

I have a hunch you might want to hear ways to stop feeling bad and/or ways to make him get back with you... but I don't have either of those. I think what might help you is to give yourself - and him - time and space. The more you try to convince him to get back with you, (I hate to put it this way but) the more you will hurt the friendship that remains - because, and I can say this because I've been there, you'll be sending him the message that "I only want you in my life if you're my boyfriend."

Anger is OK. Sadness is OK. Loneliness is OK. They all suck, but they are normal and OK to feel. They're all part of what you're doing right now: grieving. You are a person who has had a loss happen, and you're doing what people do when they suffer a loss (of any kind): mourning the loss. So... allow yourself time to go through the feelings. Give all of your feelings permission to exist. Try to put space between yourself and this boy for a bit, as ( ... )

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I know how you feel. kris10love November 17 2010, 02:00:44 UTC
I was with a boy in high school for almost 3 years. We weren't working for most of those years but we held onto the relationship for so long. We really loved each other. When I finally decided to end it (I wasn't being treated as I should have been,) my whole world was lost. All of my friends I had because they were first his friends... so who do you think they chose? Of course him over me. I lost all my friends, and everything. He didn't really think the break up was real either which made it worse in the long run. When we broke up, he thought it was gonna be okay, now let's get back together in two days. When it really settled in... that's when he started wanting me back. This could very well be the case with your boy... and if it's not... maybe he's just not worth the time or effort. I know that love doesn't die, especially so soon after the relationship... but if he ends up not caring after a little time has passed... Maybe you should just stop caring about him. Hit me up on my livejournal and friend me if you'd like to chat about ( ... )

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auntbijou November 17 2010, 05:09:27 UTC
Take a deep breath, and then let it out slowly.

Now, close your eyes and say this to yourself seven times. "Let go, let go, let go."

It is entirely possible that he isn't as affected by your breakup as you are. After all, he is the one who broke up with you, which means that he had time to think about it and stress out about it before he actually did it, and once he was done... that was it. For you, however, it was a bolt out of the blue, and now it's your turn to think about it and get stressed ( ... )

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aschedjidoi November 17 2010, 10:11:31 UTC
You obviously cared about the relationship a LOT more than he ever did, so it's only natural that you'd be angry and upset that it didn't work.

You also don't need to try to be friends right now if you're passionately upset about the situation. Consider maybe being friends with him in the future when the wounds aren't as fresh, but I'd advise against being around him for a bit, if you can help it.

Since he wasn't into the relationship, he's going to easily bounce back to a "normal single life" than you would. This is okay. It's not his fault that he didn't care as much about the relationship, and it's not your fault that you liked him enough to really try to make things work.

It's wonderful that he made you happy before. Cherish those memories, but don't continue struggling to make them try to happen with this guy. It's usually just upsetting to be repeatedly turned down ( ... )

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