Comments | advice_source: Which to choose?

irishjewel413 in advice_source

Which to choose?

Nov 25, 2007 02:22

I haven't written in here in so long, or in my journal in general, but I have a big dilemma. I'm 21 years old, female. So here is my problem and I really need help! So there are two great guys in my life right now. One we will call E, and the other we will call B. I have been seeing E since May. I met him through a friend and we immediately ( Read more... )

Comments 9

san_simeon_girl November 25 2007, 16:10:03 UTC

I have all kinds of things I want to say, but first let me ask you to re-read your last paragraph, pretend it's someone else, a friend of yours, asking you for this same advice--what would you tell her? What do you feel in your gut is right?

hoodwink November 25 2007, 16:26:14 UTC

Hi ( ... )

irishjewel413 November 27 2007, 05:25:21 UTC

Yes this helps a lot, in fact all of the comments help a lot. The hardest thing is just going to be letting go of him in general, but I know I can do it. I'm glad you and everyone here were able to really pin point what's going on with E, because we all know we can be blinded by love and thats why its so important to get other points of view. So again, thanks a lot! <3 Lauren

hoodwink November 27 2007, 15:01:42 UTC

Im glad we could help:) Keep your chin up because you deserve better! Feel free to let us know what happens, just link us back to this post:)

thatartychick November 25 2007, 16:34:48 UTC

It sounds like E has to go. The age gap is a little... shall we say treacherous, in terms of being able to really relate to each other on intellectual levels and where you are in life and so on. Not to say that alone makes you guys an impossibility; I do honestly think that a relationship could work with that age gap, even though it's not exactly conventional, if you two really didn't care about it. But it's obvious E does care about it. He wants to have sex with you and parade around with you but he doesn't want to be associated with you romantically. He sounds like a dirty old man with a trophy wife. Except he would probably never want other people to see him marry you. I "went out" with a guy like this once... we got along, same tastes in music and movies and so on, similar senses of humor, but there was a five or six year age gap and because of that, we were always back-and-forthing on "are we together?" "why is it weird?" "but you hang out with me and act like we're dating..." Turned out he just wanted the perks of a relationship ( ... )

irishjewel413 November 27 2007, 05:27:29 UTC

Your experience with that guy you dated sounds a lot like what I'm going through now and who E is. Thank you for sharing your experience cuz I that's exactly how I feel now!

ticktockman November 25 2007, 19:43:17 UTC

E is dishonest, controlling, inconsistent, immature, angry, jealous, and demands commitment without offering commitment. I really think those things outweigh his cocksmanship, and you can do better. Step away. Tell him "goodbye, it is over, it is completely over, here are your things back, we aren't go to have any more communication, we aren't going to remain friends, it is over."

Then delete his emails unread. Don't answer the phone when you know it is him. If he starts hiding the number he's calling from, tell him "I'm sorry, we're not going to talk, please don't call or write me anymore" and hang up without further discussion. Return any snailmail unread. If he shows up where you are, ask a friend to escort you away.

I don't have any particular advice about B. Date or don't date, as you wish, but break things completely off with E and don't give him any openings at all.

g'luck

*daha*

stealth_bomber November 26 2007, 09:29:30 UTC

That guy E sounds like a control freak who is so insecure with his own pathetic life he needs to tell someone else how to run theirs. He sounds like he is ruled by his emotions like a spoilt child ( ... )