He's gone..

[lovesroger]

(me)- female 15 years old -grade9
him- male 16 years old -grade10
friend- female 14 years old -grade9

He was my best friend. I trusted him with everything. We had met this September in our theater program gr 9, 10 and 11. I was the youngest there being a gr9. He was a year older than me. We hadn't hit it off right away. He had a crush on a friend of

Comments

[san_simeon_girl]

Tell him how you feel... it seems obvious to me from everything you've said that he likes you too. Maybe YOU should initiate the next kiss.

[lovesroger]

What if he pushes me away?

[san_simeon_girl]

I have a couple of quotes for you:

Nothing worth having comes without risk.

--and--

With great risk comes great rewards.

Maybe instead of initiating a kiss, maybe find some way to let him know you enjoyed the one he planted on you...

[lovesroger]

Okay I have no argument with those quotes... but gah. Thanks for your help though

[hoodwink]

Hi...

I've heard many stories like this through the years and just so you know, it's normal and it's pretty common. I think what others have said is true, you scared him a bit when you turned away. and now he's afraid he went too far and maybe felt like he was helping you betray the friend he originally had a crush on. but whatever the story might be, you need to talk to him or send him an email and show him this post or tell him how you're feeling.

As for your friend, she's just jealous that she's not being chased anymore.

Talk to him, email him, whatever. and then let him come back to you. If he doesn't ever bring it up again then he's missed his chance and you should move on. Believe me, you'll have plenty of time to move on and find something as the next few years go by.

Good luck!

~Becky

[lovesroger]

Thanks for the advice but can I ask you one last thing?

How do I start to ask him...? I'd rather do it in person but I'm such a wimp so any ideas since you've seen this happen before...

[hoodwink]

Make sure you have some private time where you're both in a neutral situation. Be mature about it. and honest. Tell him, "I really wish you would try to kiss me again. I got too shy last time and I didn't mean to put you off."

If you aren't straight forward, I doubt he'll bring it up or get any hints you may drop.

Good luck! You could always kiss him!

[lovesroger]

Thanks I'll keep it in consideration

[thatartychick]

I feel like I've heard this kind of situation posed to Dan Savage before, and I remember him saying to just take the plunge... you've already "ruined" (for lack of a better term) the friendship because a) you've had this romantically tense moment and b) you harbor these feelings for him which you've admitted to yourself, and all signs point to his going through the same. So you could either go all-out and see how dating goes and maybe have a really worthwhile relationship, or you can spend the rest of your time together being awkward and trying to suppress your feelings and just being miserable.

[lovesroger]

But how do I know he actually has feelings for me too? What if he regrets it?!

But you are right. The friendship is kinda shot, but it's so hard to take the plunge

advice

[sk8ter_girl09]

look girl relationships come and go trust me i've been in plenty to know. guys will come your way almost always if you deeply know you care for him tell him if he tries to change the topic when you bring it up tell him if you care for me at all you'll listen to what i have to say and if he doesn't then it's just a waste of your breath and time iv'e been through it to know what im telling you keep me updated on your situation ok!!

Re: advice

[lovesroger]

We're back to really close friends again. I haven't told him. He hugged me last week for the first time in forever. It's 8 weeks today since the kiss. I want to tell him but... I can't lose him you know? He's a really close friend of mine...Sigh, what should I do?