Comments | advicecolumn: Advice for a Friend

supaiku in advicecolumn

Advice for a Friend

Nov 19, 2008 21:23

Lately I've noticed one of my oldest friends has become more and more recluse. I recently approached him about it and asked him what was going on. He ended up telling me and wanted me to ask other people for advice for his situation for him. Thus I'm coming to you guys and gals for some advice for him ( Read more... )

Comments 5

divalicious November 20 2008, 23:27:57 UTC

I'm not a psychologist/psychiatrist, but frankly it sounds like your friend has either social anxiety or agoraphobia. It sounds like more of a serious problem than can be helped by encouragement and advice, ya know?

sisteradvice November 21 2008, 15:54:31 UTC

Well.... this is complicated. Tell him he should not care what people think. He can't pretend to be someone he's not just so people can like him. He needs to get out and explore the night life; go where people are. Not necessarily clubbing, bars, just local events. There will always be people who judge and may not like you but thats life. If we concern are selves with those type of people we would be sad or always trying to improve ourself. Life is great! Cherish it! explore!

loosedefense December 11 2008, 01:30:27 UTC

I think it was Donny Osmond who once confessed to having developed social phobia. In his case, it meant drawing away from his work as an entertainer; for your friend it could translate into becoming more reclusive. Mind that I'm not a psychologist so I may be completely off-base, but that's what it sounds like to me, especially when I read that he's afraid of being judged and doesn't want to be this way.

anony_friend January 27 2009, 23:44:01 UTC

I agree with the 3 other commenters.
I'm not sure what I can add, other than I agree with them.

anonymousfriend2009@gmail.com

advice lowandbeheld June 25 2009, 06:03:26 UTC

I have not been one to give advice and further yet am not sure if I even should. With that aside, assume that gentle proding by you is transformed by him into incessant nagging. Therefore, you might try giving him/her what they perceive, the real thing. Shout your so obvious frustration/lament/concern for your friend into their ear. THey need to hear it. This may give the impression that you are angry compelling them into a state of anger, therefore bringing them out of their lofty notion of others/continual self-deprecation.