Time for the yearly Christmas fic!
Title: The Naughty List
Rating: G
Genre: Humor
Summary: SG-1 encounter the most fearsome system lord yet.
"Daniel, what's with the helmets?" Jack stage-whispered, eyeing up the antlered Jaffa escorting them to the throne room.
Daniel frowned. "I'm not sure. The structure of the antler ornaments seem to correspond with caribou, as do the shape of the snouts, but I can't think of any caribou-related mythological figures. There might be some in Native American mythos, but it's not really my strong point."
"I am unaware of any such Goa'uld," Teal'c rumbled.
"Silence," the First Prime commanded, prodding Teal'c in the back with his staff weapon. "No more questions."
Then they were at the throne room, being forced to their knees. "Master, we captured these spies coming through the chappa'ai," the First Prime said, bowing his head.
The Goa'uld glared at them from under his fluffy red and white hat. "Spies! You have crossed the wrong system lord. Tremble in fear in the presence of your god, Julemanden!"
SG-1 stared at him. Sam leaned over to Daniel and whispered, "Doesn't he look an awful lot like-"
"Santa Claus?" Daniel demanded.
Julemanden's face lit up. "Ho ho! So you have heard of me! Tell me, does your world still revere and worship my image every winter solstice?"
"Um, in a way..."
"Hang on a minute!" Jack exclaimed in disbelief. "Santa Claus, as in Coca-Cola, ho ho ho, gimme some cookies and milk, 'he sees you when you're sleeping' Santa?"
"God of commercialism," Sam lamented. "It sucks so much when you have a birthday between Christmas and New Year's, everyone just gets you one present on Christmas..."
Teal'c cocked an eyebrow at the furious First Prime. "Your name is Rudolph, is it not?"
"It's Ryu'dof, insolent pest!"
"Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer pulling on the reins," Jack sang off-key.
Julemanden stood up. "What is the meaning of this nonsense?" he roared. "Your species is clearly mentally deficient. Guards, remove them."
"Hey, don't we even get any presents?" Sam whined as they were dragged from the throne room.
Later, after SG-1 made their way down the ramp after another daring escape, Hammond was baffled to hear a rousing rendition of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town." In four-part harmony, no less.
Rating: G
Genre: Humor
Summary: SG-1 encounter the most fearsome system lord yet.
"Daniel, what's with the helmets?" Jack stage-whispered, eyeing up the antlered Jaffa escorting them to the throne room.
Daniel frowned. "I'm not sure. The structure of the antler ornaments seem to correspond with caribou, as do the shape of the snouts, but I can't think of any caribou-related mythological figures. There might be some in Native American mythos, but it's not really my strong point."
"I am unaware of any such Goa'uld," Teal'c rumbled.
"Silence," the First Prime commanded, prodding Teal'c in the back with his staff weapon. "No more questions."
Then they were at the throne room, being forced to their knees. "Master, we captured these spies coming through the chappa'ai," the First Prime said, bowing his head.
The Goa'uld glared at them from under his fluffy red and white hat. "Spies! You have crossed the wrong system lord. Tremble in fear in the presence of your god, Julemanden!"
SG-1 stared at him. Sam leaned over to Daniel and whispered, "Doesn't he look an awful lot like-"
"Santa Claus?" Daniel demanded.
Julemanden's face lit up. "Ho ho! So you have heard of me! Tell me, does your world still revere and worship my image every winter solstice?"
"Um, in a way..."
"Hang on a minute!" Jack exclaimed in disbelief. "Santa Claus, as in Coca-Cola, ho ho ho, gimme some cookies and milk, 'he sees you when you're sleeping' Santa?"
"God of commercialism," Sam lamented. "It sucks so much when you have a birthday between Christmas and New Year's, everyone just gets you one present on Christmas..."
Teal'c cocked an eyebrow at the furious First Prime. "Your name is Rudolph, is it not?"
"It's Ryu'dof, insolent pest!"
"Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer pulling on the reins," Jack sang off-key.
Julemanden stood up. "What is the meaning of this nonsense?" he roared. "Your species is clearly mentally deficient. Guards, remove them."
"Hey, don't we even get any presents?" Sam whined as they were dragged from the throne room.
Later, after SG-1 made their way down the ramp after another daring escape, Hammond was baffled to hear a rousing rendition of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town." In four-part harmony, no less.