Heavy Rain 2
Treating the wounds wasn't too terrible. I disinfected the wounds and gave him a painkiller. Then he took a shower, and I played the voyeur because creepy hotel clerk has only taught me that double standards are the best. Did I mention I make stimulating conversation about my insomnia?
Afterward, as Ethan, it's time to open the butterfly.
As Norman Jayden, I chase a guy through a super market and beat him over the head with a crowbar or something. The scene here, among the frozen pigs, reminds me a lot of fighting Eddy in Silent Hill 2, so I liked the feel and potential homage. And fending off the chickens.
Scott has a whiskey problem, so I let him drink from his desk and look at his old badge. PI used to be a cop. Eventually, the doorbell rings, and it's our favorite hooker coming to be saved again--god, I hope not. She has an envelope from her son's father, who also mysteriously disappeared, like Susan Suicide's beau, after her son was kidnapped. The only thing notable is that the address is written with an old fashioned typewriter--kind of like the one on Shelby's desk. I mean, it's in the goddamn frame.
She insists she become Scott's partner, and it's off to a party where you can enjoy booze and libations, as well as make a coked out friend, but eventually we figure out Gordi is upstairs. I got Lauren to act like she OD'd in front of the goons and went to check it out. There's a creepy conversation with Gordi where he pretends to be the OK, but we all know who really is, and then he calls his goons. I beat them up. Then Gordi talks about how his father could easily have Shelby killed in his sleep.
I'm sensing a heavy father son theme here, how about you?
Then it's back to Ethan BAMF (yeah, I'm starting to like his sequences) and an abandoned power plant. I walk around and head through barbed fucking wire, but it only gets worse. In an ill-advised move, I go through the butterfly door into some sort of old exhaust tunnel, lined with shards. of. glass.
Because that's what well-adjusted people do. Set up a tunnel of glass for fathers to crawl through.
This sequence gave me real anxiety. It was dark, cramped, I had trouble finding the right way, even when the match worked. Plus, I couldn't just power through it because, if you go too quickly, you see red, and bad shit happens, I guess, since I didn't let it get too bad. Eventually, I come out in a nice big room (on the plus side) with electrical generators and wiring (not so good). I can go through a door labeled coward, but I'm no chicken. I throw chickens at bitches (Wait, that's Jayden). You have to find the right opening and crawl through the fields that aren't positively aglow with electricity, until you get to your reward, which is a video of Shaun practically drowning. Thanks, mang.
Pretty sure, at this point, that I can tell the address is 52-something Roosevelt, but that's a really narrow margin. How many Roosevelt streets can there be? I am done with this Jigsaw bullshit. Give me my brat.
I'm guessing Ethan isn't that intelligent.
Anyway, more Paige playing nurse. This was actually frustrating, and I screwed up so badly that I had to reset and try again at one point. Just in case it was important. Probably not. But here she starts to get curious until Ethan all but grabs her by the scruff of the neck and tosses her out before he gets the lizard figure.
Then to the police station. Turns out the guy they caught has alibis for three murders. Gee whiz, I sure didn't see that coming. Faggot Blake. Out in the lobby, meanwhile, the bitch Ethan married is telling the cops he's the killer. Woooow. This woman. You know what, I wish I could go back in time, pick up those plates, and throw them on the floor.
TAKE THAT.
Then we go see the shrink. This time, I stop Blake from beating him up within an inch of his life, because I like shrinks. I do. It's a weakness. The doctor says that Ethan has drowning fantasies and dropped origami on the floor. Come on, guys. If he is the killer, he's really bad at covering up, and what does that say about your investigative work?
Then there's a really boring scene where Shelby pretends to be bad at golf so he can whoop Gordi Kramer's dad at the driving range. The key here is that we find out that Shelby is a liar. That's right. I said it. It's still a really boring scene with repetitive controls, so there's not much to say other than that.
This task is fun. Break the lizard. Get the key. Hack off your own finger with a fucking saw. Yeah, that's--I'm glad you're seeing a shrink, Ethan. Too bad he ratted you out, and the cops are waiting outside.
Jayden makes a comment about Ethan not fitting the profile. Blake is not impressed. I am--completely surprised. It seems Madison has followed Ethan because she likes chasing weird guys who get into trouble frequently. Why is everyone in this game irrational? Either way, she sneaks in and sees that Ethan has chopped his fucking finger off.
"What happened?"
...
Anyway, bitch pulls boards out of the way of a window because it's really hard, puts a box up, and helps Ethan into an alley. Then they make it across the street, navigating traffic, and into the subway. Ethan has his trademark "CROWDS" panic, but Madison takes him down the stairs, across the tracks like a boss, and sneaks him onto a subway for the getaway. What a woman. Dude, just bang her now.
Unfortunately, Ethan ruins everything by telling her he's a killer, and that his other self is trying to test him. Crazy bitch still wants to help, and he slams the door in her face--after she got him "all kinds of food" (Really, Madison, all kinds?). I get that you were married to a woman who just turned you in for murder with no real proof, but some women can actually be trusted.
Who are you, and what have you done with Aerb?
That joke is so bad.
More Norman Jayden drug shenanigans. He plays piano like a strung out boss. Apparently looking in ARI makes him want smack because he trips out. This time, because I don't want the guy to die, I had him flush it.
There's a cute little old guy who fixes typewriters and antique clocks, it would appear. He says he can ID the type on the envelope for Scott and Lauren, then says he has a list of clients. There's a scene where Lauren is looking at a ballerina, and Scott isn't on camera. But then he's back where he started and goes to check on Manfred. I mean, Man-dead.
Yes, I went there.
Lauren starts to call the police, but Scott says that the killer already has and wants to frame them--because he fucking did it--and suggests instead they wipe for prints and leave. They make it out. Lauren has a breakdown. Shelby tries to get her to stop helping him. They run out in the rain. It's cute except that he's the guy who killed her kid.
Ethan is still falling apart at the seems. He knocks several times, pulls a gun, Mister Drug Dealer gets a fucking shotgun, and a chase ensues until Mister Drug Dealer runs out of bullets and begs for the sake of his daughters. I don't kill him. Because this is getting dumb, Scott Shelby. I'll cut off my finger, but I'm not shooting drug dealers. Norman Jayden needs them.
Madison is still trying to help this guy--it would be really funny if he murdered the drug dealer, damn missed opportunities--and goes into a weird doctor's house. This guy is apparently also a drug dealer. He repeatedly offers her a drink. She repeatedly refuses because I'm controlling her, and I'm a better judge of character than she is. Eventually, the guy goes off to get the drugs. I'm left alone. I want to leave, but I go into a bedroom, find a card, decide it's good enough, and then book it. Because fuck that guy.
Meanwhile, Jayden decides he wants to piss off a thug three times his size by poking around in a garage without a warrant. Life. Decisions. He gets his when Black Hulk hauls off and chases him with a crowbar. Eventually, Jayden gets the jump on him, and starts to get some answers by shooting his gun at barrels of fucking gasoline. Then he has withdrawals. I stave off the drug habit again. Because I'm that dedicated. And he winds up in a car, tied to the wheel, about to be thrown in a crusher. Get the gun from the glove compartment, shoot the cuffs off, and jump out the car only to start getting manhandled by Man Wolf. It doesn't look good until the tractor decides to play grab ass with the giant, tatted out black guy, and Jayden is saved by shitty overalls.
Back to Shelby and Lauren. It's starting to feel a little like Scott might have an opportunity to hit that, which is a new level of creepy, since I'm still going with the "He killed her son" theory. He cracks eggs, she makes cracks about his eggs, she realizes she can cross-check Manfred's list with a list of people who have owned origami magazine subscriptions.
Shelby looks nervous. Legit. I'm so good at this game.
Then they're at a cemetery. The only name on both lists was that of a boy who died thirty years ago. When Scott objects--because a real PI wouldn't dig into this at all--Lauren makes the valid argument that the real killer could have known this boy and used his name. Scott is losing his facade quickly.
Eventually, you find the grave. It has an origami figure and some orchids at its face. Coincidence? No, Shelby, not a coincidence. Nice try.
Luckily, the caretaker knows the story. You're treated to an interactive memory where one child follows the other over a construction site after their drunken father chases them off his trailer property. Looks like the lead kid, the bossy one, drowned in rainwater because he got stuck, and the second couldn't find help.
Daddy didn't love his son enough.
Called it. Scott has daddy issues.
Then Mr. Kramer shows up and puts flowers on John's grave. Some more misdirection to close the scene.
This sequence is fun, even for straight girls and gay men, or so I can imagine, seeing as I am neither. As Madison, I tried to talk to Paco, but he likes his women trashy.
Really, Maddy, is anyone in this club dressed like you anyway?
In the bathroom, rip that skirt--it's a pretty shitty job--unbutton the blouse, put on the make up, mess up the hair. Then I danced on the platform for Paco's amusement until I got called over and asked to go somewhere private so I could ummm... Threaten him.
I start out trying to just leave, but I'm supposed to--strip at gun point? I missed out on doing the full tease, just pulled down the dress and smacked him over the head with the lamp. REGRET. IT KILLS ME.
With Paco in the chair, I slap him around, then attempt some threats he doesn't fall for until the goons call from the door. Madison pretends to be enjoying herself, which is both hot and comical--did I mention I have a thing for girls with guns?--then she busts his balls--literally--until he sings the same name written on Scotty's headstone. Then I blow this popsicle stand.
As Jayden walks into the same club, Paco is getting slapped around some more by the man he apparently got the apartment for, the man he told Madison about. He gets shot just as Norman walks up the stairs toward the office, flipping out his badge like its his dick as he goes. He goes through the door, sees Paco dead, begins to investigate, only to get slam-dunked by the killer in some kind of bandito get-up. A fight ensues. The killer gets away.
Jayden investigates, finds the murder weapon, some gas station receipts, and Maddy's prints before ditching the dead dog.
In the hotel room, Madison tells Ethan she knows the real killer, and it isn't him. Ethan is upset because he couldn't kill the drug dealer. Kissing, heavy petting, and sex. Pay dirt.
Ethan wakes up, is about to sneak out like a drugged prom date, but notices Madison has some notes on him. Turns out the bitch is a reporter. Ulterior motive located. Sort of. Because I'm not buying the sex part. He wakes her up, angry, all pretenses of sneaking off out the window.
She says she really does have feelings for him and wants to be with him once he finds his son. I choose to forgive her because she's hot. I mean really.
As Madison goes out, she sees the Five-Oh again and calls up to Ethan's room to warn him. He jumps out the window, scales the roof, and then jumps to the ground.
Blake thinks he's nuts, but really, if Blake is operating on the assumption that Ethan is the killer, it's probably the best option ever.
Then Ethan punches a cab driver. It's pretty hilarious. OF ALL THE CARS TO STEAL.
Scott Shelby has just gotten into trouble trying to cover his own tracks. Kramer has Lauren, and he knocks Shelby out and puts them both in a car at the bottom of the lake. Yay drowning; the motifs. I chose to untie Lauren and bring her with me to safety because I think he feels remorse for causing the mothers, at least, pain. I also think he's kind of sweet on the hooker. Serial killers need love too.
Then, probably the best sequence so far, Scott just drops some caps in some bitches, running through Karmer's place. He roughs up Kramer, gets the answers we already know were true--seems he's trying to frame Gordi for being a copy-cat, or just get back at him--and then saves Kramer by giving him his heart meds.
As Madison, we're heading to Ann Sheppard's, the mother with Alzheimer's who lost the original John to the storm drain and his twin to adoption. She doesn't remember anything, but the nurse says she sometimes will tell you things if you shower her with items she has an attachment to. Well, we know the killer likes orchids and origami. There were some orchids in the hall, and there's origami on one of the tables. I bring her a flower, pick up a swan to look at it, and mess around in her drawers for a photo before I head to the window and start making my own origami. She doesn't react until you make a dog.
Sheppard says that John made a lot of dogs and called them all "Max," even if she told him he couldn't. That's--cool story, Bro. But Madison keeps pressing about the other son. Eventually, in a creepy ass old lady way, she tells you to come closer. Fearing for my life, I comply. She whispers something to Madison, and the scene cuts.
Money is on "Scott Shelby."
Ethan heads for the last trial. I guess he gets to drink poison. Well, fuck you, too. I'm pretty sure I can figure out the address with what I have.
I get in my car and listen to the recording. I hear birds and a fog horn. Well, Mister OK, I think you just gave me a big clue. Of all possible addresses--which I COULD HAVE SEARCHED IF I HAD DONE THIS A DAY AGO INSTEAD OF PLAYING MORE DUMB GAMES--only one is close to the water. So that's where I head.
As Jayden, I look at the receipts. Turns out there's a pretty big area to cover with potential customers for that gas station.
So I look at the video ARI picked up. Handy record mode. There's a gold cop watch. His mind immediately goes to Blake, but real Norman? Real? So I tell him try again. Turns out, there's only one cop in the entire gas station service area.
Scott Shelby.
Not yet, Aerb. Shut up.
Scott sends Lauren away to her mother's so he can reminisce and burn momentos. Yes, turns out, "Scott" is the name of the twin in the flashback.
SCORE. FINALLY. VICTORY DANCE.
Dem lock picks. Miss journalist continues to be resourceful as she busts into Scott's apartment.
The lock-picking was a little tricky, because I'm used to the controller tilts being singular and fluid, but smooth jerk isn't too hard to land. Then she's in Shelby's apartment.
Inside, the bookcase is hollow, so I manage to head through the hidden door. On the laptop, I guess some passwords, but then I remember the really inane story about John's origami dogs that just had to have a point beyond making my eyes slide into the back of my head. We go with "Max," and that's the password. Turns out Shelby saved the address of where he stashed Shaun on his laptop in case he--forgot where he kept the bodies of young boys? Okay, MJ.
As I leave, turns out Shelby's there. He shoves me back into the hidden room, locks the hidden door, and lights his own apartment on fire, but only after informing Madison that she "doesn't understand," when she pretty much laid out his motive for him. You know, how a sane person behaves.
It's pretty obvious that part of the wall must be hollow since, as soon as you have control, you can knock around at it. One part sounds different, so I grab a big random blue thing--what is that--and start beating the hollow part with it. Pay dirt. Climb around the apartment. I walk into the fire and have to shake around, which is hilarious. I wonder if Madison's voice actress won a grammy.
Then she locks herself in the refrigerator. Because open refrigerator doors. She dreams about them. Then the apartment blows up, and she finds a way out--somehow. I decide not to call anyone because they should fucking be there anyway, and if they aren't, Madison's a badass. She can handle it.
Of course, Ethan has made it, and Shelby is waiting for him. He says "I've been searching for a father willing to do what mine couldn't," and Ethan says "Whatever, bitch, just let me have my son back." Then, when he stoops to open the grate, Shelby decides to--shoot him in the back? Yeah, I'm sticking with the sane person assessment.
Only Norman Jayden jumps on his face like Akali in League of Legends, and they roll around until they get on a conveniently located, operational conveyor belt on the roof of an abandoned warehouse, while Ethan, obliviously, continues to poke around at the storm grate. Jayden fights Shelby.
Cut to Madison and the cops. It seems they've shown up because Ethan is inside, so she just casually tries to walk in. Because that will work. It's not like the cops haven't caught onto her by now or anything, and even then, stakeout.
Ethan putters around the storm grate a while until he finds a pole and starts beating at the lock. Then he pulls Shaun out.
More fighting with Jayden and Shelby. Hella legit.
CRAZY MOTOR CYCLE CHASE MUSIC as Madison evades arrest and zips through the door.
Meanwhile, Ethan's savior fights Shelby (just lol), chooses to save his life, only to get smashed upside the head and start fighting again. Eventually, Shelby just falls into the random spinning blades--why are those even THERE?--and dies.
Ethan gives Shaun CPR in kind of a clumsy way. Does he even know CPR? He's crying and giving up when SUDDENLY, the boy lives.
Madison runs in, and "THE COPS ARE OUTSIDE," but they decide to just go out, they can't possibly hurt us, right?
The news anchor gives a report, summarizing what everyone already knows, which is that Ethan wasn't the origami killer, and Shelby was. Switches to Ethan, Shaun, and Madison in their new apartment. No ex wife to be found or considered because fuck that bitch. They look happy. It's boring. Jayden should have let Ethan die.
Next, Jayden is a national hero. But things are not all that they seem. He flushes his drug down the toilet. I assume it's the last of his stash. Then, when he's working in his office on ARI, random blue mini-tanks drive up and aim their canons at him. Having none of this, he removes ARI and starts using paper like a normal person. Except that they come back, and he's noticeably alarmed.
That part is actually interesting. I knew ARI was the real problem, that's what the weird Indian waiter was talking about. Jayden doesn't understand reality. I like him. He's the best character. You can all go fuck yourselves.
Then Lauren Winters, who has obviously seen the news, is at Shelby's grave, and spits on it. She's pissed because she didn't get to kill him, probably. Also, he held her. So that's kind of a black mark. Never mind the saving the hooker from a thug part. No one remembers that.
Anyway, I liked this game. I'm glad my girlfriend let me borrow it. I'm going to review it in a bit.
Afterward, as Ethan, it's time to open the butterfly.
As Norman Jayden, I chase a guy through a super market and beat him over the head with a crowbar or something. The scene here, among the frozen pigs, reminds me a lot of fighting Eddy in Silent Hill 2, so I liked the feel and potential homage. And fending off the chickens.
Scott has a whiskey problem, so I let him drink from his desk and look at his old badge. PI used to be a cop. Eventually, the doorbell rings, and it's our favorite hooker coming to be saved again--god, I hope not. She has an envelope from her son's father, who also mysteriously disappeared, like Susan Suicide's beau, after her son was kidnapped. The only thing notable is that the address is written with an old fashioned typewriter--kind of like the one on Shelby's desk. I mean, it's in the goddamn frame.
She insists she become Scott's partner, and it's off to a party where you can enjoy booze and libations, as well as make a coked out friend, but eventually we figure out Gordi is upstairs. I got Lauren to act like she OD'd in front of the goons and went to check it out. There's a creepy conversation with Gordi where he pretends to be the OK, but we all know who really is, and then he calls his goons. I beat them up. Then Gordi talks about how his father could easily have Shelby killed in his sleep.
I'm sensing a heavy father son theme here, how about you?
Then it's back to Ethan BAMF (yeah, I'm starting to like his sequences) and an abandoned power plant. I walk around and head through barbed fucking wire, but it only gets worse. In an ill-advised move, I go through the butterfly door into some sort of old exhaust tunnel, lined with shards. of. glass.
Because that's what well-adjusted people do. Set up a tunnel of glass for fathers to crawl through.
This sequence gave me real anxiety. It was dark, cramped, I had trouble finding the right way, even when the match worked. Plus, I couldn't just power through it because, if you go too quickly, you see red, and bad shit happens, I guess, since I didn't let it get too bad. Eventually, I come out in a nice big room (on the plus side) with electrical generators and wiring (not so good). I can go through a door labeled coward, but I'm no chicken. I throw chickens at bitches (Wait, that's Jayden). You have to find the right opening and crawl through the fields that aren't positively aglow with electricity, until you get to your reward, which is a video of Shaun practically drowning. Thanks, mang.
Pretty sure, at this point, that I can tell the address is 52-something Roosevelt, but that's a really narrow margin. How many Roosevelt streets can there be? I am done with this Jigsaw bullshit. Give me my brat.
I'm guessing Ethan isn't that intelligent.
Anyway, more Paige playing nurse. This was actually frustrating, and I screwed up so badly that I had to reset and try again at one point. Just in case it was important. Probably not. But here she starts to get curious until Ethan all but grabs her by the scruff of the neck and tosses her out before he gets the lizard figure.
Then to the police station. Turns out the guy they caught has alibis for three murders. Gee whiz, I sure didn't see that coming. Faggot Blake. Out in the lobby, meanwhile, the bitch Ethan married is telling the cops he's the killer. Woooow. This woman. You know what, I wish I could go back in time, pick up those plates, and throw them on the floor.
TAKE THAT.
Then we go see the shrink. This time, I stop Blake from beating him up within an inch of his life, because I like shrinks. I do. It's a weakness. The doctor says that Ethan has drowning fantasies and dropped origami on the floor. Come on, guys. If he is the killer, he's really bad at covering up, and what does that say about your investigative work?
Then there's a really boring scene where Shelby pretends to be bad at golf so he can whoop Gordi Kramer's dad at the driving range. The key here is that we find out that Shelby is a liar. That's right. I said it. It's still a really boring scene with repetitive controls, so there's not much to say other than that.
This task is fun. Break the lizard. Get the key. Hack off your own finger with a fucking saw. Yeah, that's--I'm glad you're seeing a shrink, Ethan. Too bad he ratted you out, and the cops are waiting outside.
Jayden makes a comment about Ethan not fitting the profile. Blake is not impressed. I am--completely surprised. It seems Madison has followed Ethan because she likes chasing weird guys who get into trouble frequently. Why is everyone in this game irrational? Either way, she sneaks in and sees that Ethan has chopped his fucking finger off.
"What happened?"
...
Anyway, bitch pulls boards out of the way of a window because it's really hard, puts a box up, and helps Ethan into an alley. Then they make it across the street, navigating traffic, and into the subway. Ethan has his trademark "CROWDS" panic, but Madison takes him down the stairs, across the tracks like a boss, and sneaks him onto a subway for the getaway. What a woman. Dude, just bang her now.
Unfortunately, Ethan ruins everything by telling her he's a killer, and that his other self is trying to test him. Crazy bitch still wants to help, and he slams the door in her face--after she got him "all kinds of food" (Really, Madison, all kinds?). I get that you were married to a woman who just turned you in for murder with no real proof, but some women can actually be trusted.
Who are you, and what have you done with Aerb?
That joke is so bad.
More Norman Jayden drug shenanigans. He plays piano like a strung out boss. Apparently looking in ARI makes him want smack because he trips out. This time, because I don't want the guy to die, I had him flush it.
There's a cute little old guy who fixes typewriters and antique clocks, it would appear. He says he can ID the type on the envelope for Scott and Lauren, then says he has a list of clients. There's a scene where Lauren is looking at a ballerina, and Scott isn't on camera. But then he's back where he started and goes to check on Manfred. I mean, Man-dead.
Yes, I went there.
Lauren starts to call the police, but Scott says that the killer already has and wants to frame them--because he fucking did it--and suggests instead they wipe for prints and leave. They make it out. Lauren has a breakdown. Shelby tries to get her to stop helping him. They run out in the rain. It's cute except that he's the guy who killed her kid.
Ethan is still falling apart at the seems. He knocks several times, pulls a gun, Mister Drug Dealer gets a fucking shotgun, and a chase ensues until Mister Drug Dealer runs out of bullets and begs for the sake of his daughters. I don't kill him. Because this is getting dumb, Scott Shelby. I'll cut off my finger, but I'm not shooting drug dealers. Norman Jayden needs them.
Madison is still trying to help this guy--it would be really funny if he murdered the drug dealer, damn missed opportunities--and goes into a weird doctor's house. This guy is apparently also a drug dealer. He repeatedly offers her a drink. She repeatedly refuses because I'm controlling her, and I'm a better judge of character than she is. Eventually, the guy goes off to get the drugs. I'm left alone. I want to leave, but I go into a bedroom, find a card, decide it's good enough, and then book it. Because fuck that guy.
Meanwhile, Jayden decides he wants to piss off a thug three times his size by poking around in a garage without a warrant. Life. Decisions. He gets his when Black Hulk hauls off and chases him with a crowbar. Eventually, Jayden gets the jump on him, and starts to get some answers by shooting his gun at barrels of fucking gasoline. Then he has withdrawals. I stave off the drug habit again. Because I'm that dedicated. And he winds up in a car, tied to the wheel, about to be thrown in a crusher. Get the gun from the glove compartment, shoot the cuffs off, and jump out the car only to start getting manhandled by Man Wolf. It doesn't look good until the tractor decides to play grab ass with the giant, tatted out black guy, and Jayden is saved by shitty overalls.
Back to Shelby and Lauren. It's starting to feel a little like Scott might have an opportunity to hit that, which is a new level of creepy, since I'm still going with the "He killed her son" theory. He cracks eggs, she makes cracks about his eggs, she realizes she can cross-check Manfred's list with a list of people who have owned origami magazine subscriptions.
Shelby looks nervous. Legit. I'm so good at this game.
Then they're at a cemetery. The only name on both lists was that of a boy who died thirty years ago. When Scott objects--because a real PI wouldn't dig into this at all--Lauren makes the valid argument that the real killer could have known this boy and used his name. Scott is losing his facade quickly.
Eventually, you find the grave. It has an origami figure and some orchids at its face. Coincidence? No, Shelby, not a coincidence. Nice try.
Luckily, the caretaker knows the story. You're treated to an interactive memory where one child follows the other over a construction site after their drunken father chases them off his trailer property. Looks like the lead kid, the bossy one, drowned in rainwater because he got stuck, and the second couldn't find help.
Daddy didn't love his son enough.
Called it. Scott has daddy issues.
Then Mr. Kramer shows up and puts flowers on John's grave. Some more misdirection to close the scene.
This sequence is fun, even for straight girls and gay men, or so I can imagine, seeing as I am neither. As Madison, I tried to talk to Paco, but he likes his women trashy.
Really, Maddy, is anyone in this club dressed like you anyway?
In the bathroom, rip that skirt--it's a pretty shitty job--unbutton the blouse, put on the make up, mess up the hair. Then I danced on the platform for Paco's amusement until I got called over and asked to go somewhere private so I could ummm... Threaten him.
I start out trying to just leave, but I'm supposed to--strip at gun point? I missed out on doing the full tease, just pulled down the dress and smacked him over the head with the lamp. REGRET. IT KILLS ME.
With Paco in the chair, I slap him around, then attempt some threats he doesn't fall for until the goons call from the door. Madison pretends to be enjoying herself, which is both hot and comical--did I mention I have a thing for girls with guns?--then she busts his balls--literally--until he sings the same name written on Scotty's headstone. Then I blow this popsicle stand.
As Jayden walks into the same club, Paco is getting slapped around some more by the man he apparently got the apartment for, the man he told Madison about. He gets shot just as Norman walks up the stairs toward the office, flipping out his badge like its his dick as he goes. He goes through the door, sees Paco dead, begins to investigate, only to get slam-dunked by the killer in some kind of bandito get-up. A fight ensues. The killer gets away.
Jayden investigates, finds the murder weapon, some gas station receipts, and Maddy's prints before ditching the dead dog.
In the hotel room, Madison tells Ethan she knows the real killer, and it isn't him. Ethan is upset because he couldn't kill the drug dealer. Kissing, heavy petting, and sex. Pay dirt.
Ethan wakes up, is about to sneak out like a drugged prom date, but notices Madison has some notes on him. Turns out the bitch is a reporter. Ulterior motive located. Sort of. Because I'm not buying the sex part. He wakes her up, angry, all pretenses of sneaking off out the window.
She says she really does have feelings for him and wants to be with him once he finds his son. I choose to forgive her because she's hot. I mean really.
As Madison goes out, she sees the Five-Oh again and calls up to Ethan's room to warn him. He jumps out the window, scales the roof, and then jumps to the ground.
Blake thinks he's nuts, but really, if Blake is operating on the assumption that Ethan is the killer, it's probably the best option ever.
Then Ethan punches a cab driver. It's pretty hilarious. OF ALL THE CARS TO STEAL.
Scott Shelby has just gotten into trouble trying to cover his own tracks. Kramer has Lauren, and he knocks Shelby out and puts them both in a car at the bottom of the lake. Yay drowning; the motifs. I chose to untie Lauren and bring her with me to safety because I think he feels remorse for causing the mothers, at least, pain. I also think he's kind of sweet on the hooker. Serial killers need love too.
Then, probably the best sequence so far, Scott just drops some caps in some bitches, running through Karmer's place. He roughs up Kramer, gets the answers we already know were true--seems he's trying to frame Gordi for being a copy-cat, or just get back at him--and then saves Kramer by giving him his heart meds.
As Madison, we're heading to Ann Sheppard's, the mother with Alzheimer's who lost the original John to the storm drain and his twin to adoption. She doesn't remember anything, but the nurse says she sometimes will tell you things if you shower her with items she has an attachment to. Well, we know the killer likes orchids and origami. There were some orchids in the hall, and there's origami on one of the tables. I bring her a flower, pick up a swan to look at it, and mess around in her drawers for a photo before I head to the window and start making my own origami. She doesn't react until you make a dog.
Sheppard says that John made a lot of dogs and called them all "Max," even if she told him he couldn't. That's--cool story, Bro. But Madison keeps pressing about the other son. Eventually, in a creepy ass old lady way, she tells you to come closer. Fearing for my life, I comply. She whispers something to Madison, and the scene cuts.
Money is on "Scott Shelby."
Ethan heads for the last trial. I guess he gets to drink poison. Well, fuck you, too. I'm pretty sure I can figure out the address with what I have.
I get in my car and listen to the recording. I hear birds and a fog horn. Well, Mister OK, I think you just gave me a big clue. Of all possible addresses--which I COULD HAVE SEARCHED IF I HAD DONE THIS A DAY AGO INSTEAD OF PLAYING MORE DUMB GAMES--only one is close to the water. So that's where I head.
As Jayden, I look at the receipts. Turns out there's a pretty big area to cover with potential customers for that gas station.
So I look at the video ARI picked up. Handy record mode. There's a gold cop watch. His mind immediately goes to Blake, but real Norman? Real? So I tell him try again. Turns out, there's only one cop in the entire gas station service area.
Scott Shelby.
Not yet, Aerb. Shut up.
Scott sends Lauren away to her mother's so he can reminisce and burn momentos. Yes, turns out, "Scott" is the name of the twin in the flashback.
SCORE. FINALLY. VICTORY DANCE.
Dem lock picks. Miss journalist continues to be resourceful as she busts into Scott's apartment.
The lock-picking was a little tricky, because I'm used to the controller tilts being singular and fluid, but smooth jerk isn't too hard to land. Then she's in Shelby's apartment.
Inside, the bookcase is hollow, so I manage to head through the hidden door. On the laptop, I guess some passwords, but then I remember the really inane story about John's origami dogs that just had to have a point beyond making my eyes slide into the back of my head. We go with "Max," and that's the password. Turns out Shelby saved the address of where he stashed Shaun on his laptop in case he--forgot where he kept the bodies of young boys? Okay, MJ.
As I leave, turns out Shelby's there. He shoves me back into the hidden room, locks the hidden door, and lights his own apartment on fire, but only after informing Madison that she "doesn't understand," when she pretty much laid out his motive for him. You know, how a sane person behaves.
It's pretty obvious that part of the wall must be hollow since, as soon as you have control, you can knock around at it. One part sounds different, so I grab a big random blue thing--what is that--and start beating the hollow part with it. Pay dirt. Climb around the apartment. I walk into the fire and have to shake around, which is hilarious. I wonder if Madison's voice actress won a grammy.
Then she locks herself in the refrigerator. Because open refrigerator doors. She dreams about them. Then the apartment blows up, and she finds a way out--somehow. I decide not to call anyone because they should fucking be there anyway, and if they aren't, Madison's a badass. She can handle it.
Of course, Ethan has made it, and Shelby is waiting for him. He says "I've been searching for a father willing to do what mine couldn't," and Ethan says "Whatever, bitch, just let me have my son back." Then, when he stoops to open the grate, Shelby decides to--shoot him in the back? Yeah, I'm sticking with the sane person assessment.
Only Norman Jayden jumps on his face like Akali in League of Legends, and they roll around until they get on a conveniently located, operational conveyor belt on the roof of an abandoned warehouse, while Ethan, obliviously, continues to poke around at the storm grate. Jayden fights Shelby.
Cut to Madison and the cops. It seems they've shown up because Ethan is inside, so she just casually tries to walk in. Because that will work. It's not like the cops haven't caught onto her by now or anything, and even then, stakeout.
Ethan putters around the storm grate a while until he finds a pole and starts beating at the lock. Then he pulls Shaun out.
More fighting with Jayden and Shelby. Hella legit.
CRAZY MOTOR CYCLE CHASE MUSIC as Madison evades arrest and zips through the door.
Meanwhile, Ethan's savior fights Shelby (just lol), chooses to save his life, only to get smashed upside the head and start fighting again. Eventually, Shelby just falls into the random spinning blades--why are those even THERE?--and dies.
Ethan gives Shaun CPR in kind of a clumsy way. Does he even know CPR? He's crying and giving up when SUDDENLY, the boy lives.
Madison runs in, and "THE COPS ARE OUTSIDE," but they decide to just go out, they can't possibly hurt us, right?
The news anchor gives a report, summarizing what everyone already knows, which is that Ethan wasn't the origami killer, and Shelby was. Switches to Ethan, Shaun, and Madison in their new apartment. No ex wife to be found or considered because fuck that bitch. They look happy. It's boring. Jayden should have let Ethan die.
Next, Jayden is a national hero. But things are not all that they seem. He flushes his drug down the toilet. I assume it's the last of his stash. Then, when he's working in his office on ARI, random blue mini-tanks drive up and aim their canons at him. Having none of this, he removes ARI and starts using paper like a normal person. Except that they come back, and he's noticeably alarmed.
That part is actually interesting. I knew ARI was the real problem, that's what the weird Indian waiter was talking about. Jayden doesn't understand reality. I like him. He's the best character. You can all go fuck yourselves.
Then Lauren Winters, who has obviously seen the news, is at Shelby's grave, and spits on it. She's pissed because she didn't get to kill him, probably. Also, he held her. So that's kind of a black mark. Never mind the saving the hooker from a thug part. No one remembers that.
Anyway, I liked this game. I'm glad my girlfriend let me borrow it. I'm going to review it in a bit.