I'm a bad daughter
I haven't gone through the 5 stages of grief that some guy said that we call go through. I'm not in denial, as I've come to accept that dad is gone, he's not coming back (as his ashes are sitting on the bookcase above the TV, that'd be rather hard); I'm accepting in knowing that he's gone, etc. I'm just stuck in the 'anger' stage and I'm not sure how to let go.
Mom said that I've been grieving for a while, before he died, as I watched him slowly fade, and I won't let myself cry for a long, long, LONG, time. I'm sure it'll hit me next month for Thanksgiving and really hard at Christmas, and I'll go with it when it does, but not yet.
Dad was, well, a schmuck. He never wrote a new will and still has his second ex-wife, Alice, as independent executrix. Great, thanks dad. I found this will last week and I'd swear on a stack of Bibles that I also found their divorce papers, but when I brought them back to the house, I couldn't find them. So that means another foray up to Denton to look in the filing cabinet to try and find the form so that I can put the will through probate and then figure what to do with the house.
Now the hard part is to find a lawyer I can afford (no, not really) and see if there are anything else I need to worry about. I took the will to a lawyer last week and he stated that it was a mess, with the only saving grace being that Alice was an 'independent' and can refuse to do so, thus letting it fall to me. So unless I can find those divorce papers, I have to contact the woman. Maybe she's already passed on...now there's an evil thought.
I have mom to thank for writing down everything we did last week, as I can't recall any other day with any claim to clarity other than Thursday, the day of the memorial service. When I had to ask what I did on Saturday, you know I'm bad off.
I'm still physically and emotionally tired, but I'm going to try and go back to work tomorrow. I'm just not sure if I can take more people saying how sorry they are for my loss, that he's in a better place, etc., but if it gets too much I guess I can always retreat to the bathroom.
I apologize in advance - it sounds like I didn't love my father. I did, do, will continue to do so, but this was the same man who, when asked if he changed his will, always stated that he had. To find out that he didn't, well, it hurts
Mom said that I've been grieving for a while, before he died, as I watched him slowly fade, and I won't let myself cry for a long, long, LONG, time. I'm sure it'll hit me next month for Thanksgiving and really hard at Christmas, and I'll go with it when it does, but not yet.
Dad was, well, a schmuck. He never wrote a new will and still has his second ex-wife, Alice, as independent executrix. Great, thanks dad. I found this will last week and I'd swear on a stack of Bibles that I also found their divorce papers, but when I brought them back to the house, I couldn't find them. So that means another foray up to Denton to look in the filing cabinet to try and find the form so that I can put the will through probate and then figure what to do with the house.
Now the hard part is to find a lawyer I can afford (no, not really) and see if there are anything else I need to worry about. I took the will to a lawyer last week and he stated that it was a mess, with the only saving grace being that Alice was an 'independent' and can refuse to do so, thus letting it fall to me. So unless I can find those divorce papers, I have to contact the woman. Maybe she's already passed on...now there's an evil thought.
I have mom to thank for writing down everything we did last week, as I can't recall any other day with any claim to clarity other than Thursday, the day of the memorial service. When I had to ask what I did on Saturday, you know I'm bad off.
I'm still physically and emotionally tired, but I'm going to try and go back to work tomorrow. I'm just not sure if I can take more people saying how sorry they are for my loss, that he's in a better place, etc., but if it gets too much I guess I can always retreat to the bathroom.
I apologize in advance - it sounds like I didn't love my father. I did, do, will continue to do so, but this was the same man who, when asked if he changed his will, always stated that he had. To find out that he didn't, well, it hurts