No worries. You do love your father. What you're feeling is normal. I remember having the same feelings when my aunt Nan died. We were close, and I think anger was the only feeling I felt for a long time. I felt she gave up on me, and living I guess. Can't explain it all, I was a young woman, and her death had a lot of complications including family issues that were unresolved. Her and my grandma's death tore our family apart, and it still doesn't speak to the other side. Some how I found myself blaming her. Your reasons and feelings are for something different than mine, but the core mechanism inside of us is the same. Many people feel acceptance and anger after death
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