Overflow [Ryuu and Sho]
Ne, can Aeris ever learn to write in a way that's not confusing? Or rather, before that, can she learn to think in a way that doesn't confuse others?
( It's 'cause life's not a neat little container~ )
( It's 'cause life's not a neat little container~ )
Comments 4
You seem to like using the 'fated to be a murderer' theme a lot. I've seen it repeat in a lot of your fiction. And does the fact that Ryo's an actor have anything to do with your current obsessions...?
The "You're not the sun!" Part was really dramatic, but in a good way. It gave the whole piece a focal point. Everything seemed to converge at that one point, giving it much impact. All in all, I really liked this.
I still stand by my point, though. Confusing is good. It makes people think.
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...Actually, yes~ I was like "Uhh...I kind of want to say that they were happy kids...BUT THEY DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A HAPPY LIFE! Okay, so, let's give them an alternate universe where they could have had a happy life"...and then that just overflowed (haha...again!) into Ryo's character.
Yay! Focal point caught!
...But...making teachers think may not be a good idea. So I still stand by my point that I need a new story.
I dunno, I'll take this to her and see what she thinks ^-^;;
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However: "Well, it's...I think, once, it was a dream, maybe. Yeah, a dream. I saw you, you know..."
COUGHwetdreamCOUGHHACKSNARK
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