fic: Twist in My Reality [G] p3/? TW/H2G2 xover
The sight that met Ianto’s eyes almost blew him away. The bridge of the starship was all curves and light and so, so *alien* it caught his breath. He couldn’t help but gawp, only half listening to the conversation that was happening a short distance away.
“Hey, Zaphod, looking good as usual I see.”
“Yo! Jack baby!” The new voice was overly cheerful and *big*. Ianto had the vague impression of blonde, long and artfully scruffy hair and flamboyant clothes, but he still wasn’t paying much attention. Jack, though, appeared to be in his element by the sound of him.
“I love the new hair, Zaphod, but what happened to your head?”
“Oh, that. Long story. Let’s just say it went undercover. And as for new hair, what happened to yours? I can’t call you hedgehog boy with hair like *that*!”
“You’ll have to think of another name then, won’t you big guy?” Before the conversation could degenerate further, a new, female voice broke in.
“Don’t you think you’re all forgetting something?”
“We are?” asked Zaphod, sounding puzzled.
“We are?” asked Ford, sounding equally puzzled.
“We are.” Said Jack. “Zaphod, Trillian, this is Ianto Jones.” The sound of his name knocked Ianto out of his stupor and he smiled wanly at the gathered strangers. “Ianto, this is Zaphod Beeblebrox and Trillian.”
“Great, another tame ape for me to play with.” Zaphod managed to sound both bored and enthusiastic at the same time. Ianto was distinctly unhappy about being called a tame ape, it seemed the woman, Trillian, did not take kindly to it either.
“Excuse me! I am not tame, and I am definitely *not* your plaything, Mr ex-president Beeblebrox.” Ianto realised her voice was familiar and sent his memory searching for the snippet of information that would tell him where from. It did not take long; ape he might be but he still had a trained memory. He stared at the dark haired woman who was standing, hands on hips, glaring at the blond alien.
“Tricia McMillan?” He stuttered. She turned to look at Ianto, as did everyone else.
“Now that is a name I’ve not used in a long time. Just what hole in the universe did you manage to dig it out of?”
“Torchwood,” Ianto answered. “Torchwood One to be precise. You made a discovery back in the 1980s, I believe, of a spatial breach about 600 feet above London’s docklands.”
“I remember; that was just before I was told my services were no longer required by the agency who’d employed me. Before the party where I met...” Her eyes flicked to where Zaphod was indolently lolling in his seat. He grinned, realising that she was talking about him
“Hey, you mean I rescued you from certain death? From a dark and despicable future? And I didn’t even know it at the time? Man, I’m good.” Trillian smiled gently, and reached out to pat him on the shoulder.
“Yes, you are, Zaphod.”
“So that’s what happened!” For the first time since arriving on the Heart of Gold, Ianto no longer felt overwhelmed; he was starting to see the connections, and that helped to make more sense out of a very nonsensical situation. He wandered over to where the others were all standing. “You made the discovery during the research you were doing, passed the information along to your sponsors as requested who then cancelled your post, but by the time they got round to following you up to wipe your memory, you had disappeared.” Jack sidled up to Ianto, and asked,
“How come I didn’t know about this?”
“You’re not an archivist, sir. You can find lots of interesting things in archives if you just know where to look.” Zaphod crowed with laughter at Ianto’s smug expression and Jack’s stunned one.
“I just bet you can. Monkey-boy has a brain, Ford. How about that?”
“I think that’s great.” Ford clapped Ianto heartily on the shoulder, almost as hard as Jack would. “But I think you’d best cut the animal references for your own safety...” He nodded to where Trillian had gone back to glaring at Zaphod, arms folded, foot tapping.
“Trillian honey, you know I don’t mean you.”
“Do I? Do I really?” She stomped off out of sight, and Jack watched her go with a half-smile.
“Still have a way with words, big guy, don’t you? Come on Ianto, let me show you round the place a bit and let these two,” he waved in the general direction of Ford and Zaphod, “reflect on the intricacies of diplomacy.”
“Hey, Zaphod, looking good as usual I see.”
“Yo! Jack baby!” The new voice was overly cheerful and *big*. Ianto had the vague impression of blonde, long and artfully scruffy hair and flamboyant clothes, but he still wasn’t paying much attention. Jack, though, appeared to be in his element by the sound of him.
“I love the new hair, Zaphod, but what happened to your head?”
“Oh, that. Long story. Let’s just say it went undercover. And as for new hair, what happened to yours? I can’t call you hedgehog boy with hair like *that*!”
“You’ll have to think of another name then, won’t you big guy?” Before the conversation could degenerate further, a new, female voice broke in.
“Don’t you think you’re all forgetting something?”
“We are?” asked Zaphod, sounding puzzled.
“We are?” asked Ford, sounding equally puzzled.
“We are.” Said Jack. “Zaphod, Trillian, this is Ianto Jones.” The sound of his name knocked Ianto out of his stupor and he smiled wanly at the gathered strangers. “Ianto, this is Zaphod Beeblebrox and Trillian.”
“Great, another tame ape for me to play with.” Zaphod managed to sound both bored and enthusiastic at the same time. Ianto was distinctly unhappy about being called a tame ape, it seemed the woman, Trillian, did not take kindly to it either.
“Excuse me! I am not tame, and I am definitely *not* your plaything, Mr ex-president Beeblebrox.” Ianto realised her voice was familiar and sent his memory searching for the snippet of information that would tell him where from. It did not take long; ape he might be but he still had a trained memory. He stared at the dark haired woman who was standing, hands on hips, glaring at the blond alien.
“Tricia McMillan?” He stuttered. She turned to look at Ianto, as did everyone else.
“Now that is a name I’ve not used in a long time. Just what hole in the universe did you manage to dig it out of?”
“Torchwood,” Ianto answered. “Torchwood One to be precise. You made a discovery back in the 1980s, I believe, of a spatial breach about 600 feet above London’s docklands.”
“I remember; that was just before I was told my services were no longer required by the agency who’d employed me. Before the party where I met...” Her eyes flicked to where Zaphod was indolently lolling in his seat. He grinned, realising that she was talking about him
“Hey, you mean I rescued you from certain death? From a dark and despicable future? And I didn’t even know it at the time? Man, I’m good.” Trillian smiled gently, and reached out to pat him on the shoulder.
“Yes, you are, Zaphod.”
“So that’s what happened!” For the first time since arriving on the Heart of Gold, Ianto no longer felt overwhelmed; he was starting to see the connections, and that helped to make more sense out of a very nonsensical situation. He wandered over to where the others were all standing. “You made the discovery during the research you were doing, passed the information along to your sponsors as requested who then cancelled your post, but by the time they got round to following you up to wipe your memory, you had disappeared.” Jack sidled up to Ianto, and asked,
“How come I didn’t know about this?”
“You’re not an archivist, sir. You can find lots of interesting things in archives if you just know where to look.” Zaphod crowed with laughter at Ianto’s smug expression and Jack’s stunned one.
“I just bet you can. Monkey-boy has a brain, Ford. How about that?”
“I think that’s great.” Ford clapped Ianto heartily on the shoulder, almost as hard as Jack would. “But I think you’d best cut the animal references for your own safety...” He nodded to where Trillian had gone back to glaring at Zaphod, arms folded, foot tapping.
“Trillian honey, you know I don’t mean you.”
“Do I? Do I really?” She stomped off out of sight, and Jack watched her go with a half-smile.
“Still have a way with words, big guy, don’t you? Come on Ianto, let me show you round the place a bit and let these two,” he waved in the general direction of Ford and Zaphod, “reflect on the intricacies of diplomacy.”