Around the time I filleted (filleyed, fillayed, fileted, fileyed, filayed?) my finger with The-Pocketknife-I've-Come-to-Identify-With-My-Fleeting-Sense-of-Youth trying to carve a hole in the bottom of a fruit-punch-bottle-stuffed-with-dryer-sheets so I could smoke within the confines of my own (university-owned) bathroom with the shower running and
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