steady the helm of the heart with devotion to the ritual cauldron

[aethyrflux]

during the mojo meeting last night, i reflected upon the irony of how i was more involved with the infrastructure of flipside this year than i have been before, and yet i felt more isolated than ever: some of it was the vulgar isolation of being seperated from those i love, and at other times it was the profound isolation that comes from

Comments

[onesandzeros]

*big hugs*

[aethyrflux]

thanks, you are a compassionate & understanding soul

[onesandzeros]

Thank you. I try (at times), and it's good to know my endevors are being recieved as they are meant to be received.

I understand feelings of isolation and self-preservation. I hope those emotions lead you through them to good realizations and bunches of happiness. = )

[lovemonster]

*cuddles you so close*

i'm looking forward to spending time w/ you next week!

[aethyrflux]

i appreciate the sympathy...
so you wanna go to the brokenclockcabaret?

[lovemonster]

i would really like to! what time does it start/end?

[aethyrflux]

6/14-15 @ 8pm & 10:30pm

[sartael]

:-(

I'm sorry you're lonely, and I hope you feel less isolated soon....

pleasure production & harm reduction

[aethyrflux]

please accept my gratitude for your kindness.
it seems that my situation may require me to learn how to be more comfortable with the very real isolation that is inherent in autopoiesis.
i can embrace myself... sometimes, it's just difficult to be satisfied with that.
i too suffer from attachment to my desires.
i do my best to minimize such things, but they are an inevitable product of our human condition.
fortuantely, there are ways to transform such things...
"Just as there are Laws of Conservation of Matter and Energy, so there are in fact Laws of Conservation of Pain and Joy. Neither can ever be created or destroyed. But one can be converted into the other."
stated another way:
"Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy."
so, i will continue to revel in the celebration of my desires; although if they are unfulfilled, i may end up metamorphosizing somewhat in order to cope, as long as i maintain my integrity (and in the process, mastery over both pain & pleasure can be delightfully motivating forces

Re: pleasure production & harm reduction

[heatherthegreat]

and thank you for your benevolent gifts to my life!

funny the things that might have helped go to other people...

Re: pleasure production & harm reduction

[aethyrflux]

Seeking for the definition of benevolent on the web, these senses of the word seemed obvious:
* intending or showing kindness
* charitable: showing or motivated by sympathy and understanding and generosity
* generous in providing aid to others
* beneficent: generous in assistance to the poor

google also provided this curiously ironic entry from an obscure and bizarre glossary:
* Inclusive (benevolent) happiness: the performance index of social man; the capacity to obtain happiness through the happiness of others vs egoistic happiness obtained at the expense of others by sociopaths.

How can I celebrate your happiness if you hide it with envy? Why are you acting like success can only be celebrated by one or the other? Instead of win-lose scenarios, can we not create win-win scenarios? I thought that you recognized that the Economics of Scarcity don't have to apply to love! Please don't lash out b/c you're sad... not so long ago, you shared with me an excellent resource concerning grief that i have taken to heart & also passed on

[gavagirl]

you should go to San Antonio with us next weekend and ride some roller coasters.

[aethyrflux]

that sounds kick-ass, as long as you're talking about 6/15-17?
this weekend is pretty booked, already!
btw, you rawk, grrl!

[gavagirl]

thanks!

and yes, that is the weekend I'm talking about. We are going to see VNV Nation at the White Rabbit on Friday, staying overnight, and hitting the park on Saturday. You're welcome to go to the show with us Friday and share the room with whoever ends up there or meet up on Saturday or whatever. And bring people if you like; the more, the merrier!

[gavagirl]

OH! And CTRL is playing the VNV Nation show as well.

[todfox]

I was sorry not to see you more at the Saloon, and I am sorry you are feeling isolated now. I am glad I'll get to see you at Reesa's party, and hopefully Decomp as well.

[aethyrflux]

yeah, i wish that i had been able to get away from the effigy more often... i hope that you were able to enjoy our effigy, even through though the torrential rain set our schedule back considerably.

i look forward to seeing you @ Reesa's bday & Decomp, too!

perhaps i should find another word besides isolation to describe this condition... in the context of autopoiesis, perhaps we may suffice with the term the term operationally closed system: "(i.e., its transformations occur within its own self-interconnected bounds). Ongoing behaviors, which to an observer seem linked to the external 'world,' are enacted solely with regard to the closed state of the nervous system. Any reference to entities in the environment is indirect, because a cognizing system engages the 'world' only in terms of the perturbations in its nervous system."

[todfox]

I didn't get to play on the effigy as much as I'd have liked, but that was my own schedule and the weather. That aside, I feel like this year's effigy was the most successful since Hanuman.

Thought provoking idea about the operationally closed system ...

See you soon!