"Work, & be our bed in working!" Liber AL vel Legis, II:66.

[aethyrflux]

Back when i started writing in my livejournal, i had just learned about Melanie Klein's theory of "projective identification." Recently, my friend yoginibare mentioned the "Bowen Theory of Triangles" and we talked about how such theories can be applied to organizations/communities. This exploration has also led me to discover the work of Wilfred

Comments

[buddhalotus]

You're cute (:

[buddhalotus]

“Projective identification”

I think I have experienced this before. As you know I've had lots and lots of years of trama. I do my best though as you also know...I'm a survivor not a victim.

"At social gatherings, people would clump in small groups, each talking about someone outside that clump, and each apparently unaware that all the clumps were doing the same 'triangling' gossip about them."

I've always found this behvior very imature and obnoxius.

Bowen Theory of Triangles

As soon as I saw you studying this earlier I was able see patterns in peoples behavior that I had never really been able to put a label on. Thank you for clump of information. I love to learn. They always say pshyc majors are just trying to understand themselves better. I think that the better one understands something the more one is able to do about it. This info has helped me in more than one way.......Love you (:

[queenofhalves]

"At social gatherings, people would clump in small groups, each talking about someone outside that clump, and each apparently unaware that all the clumps were doing the same 'triangling' gossip about them."

this isn't necessarily bad as long as direct communication also happens with the people being talked about. for example, a friend of mine is having serious interpesonal conflict with someone at hir work, and i've been in groups that have helped hir process after a bad incident. she's looking into professional facilitation for the problem, which i fully approve of. i certainly don't think people should have to work through their interpersonal problems alone, or think that listening to them talk about the problem is "gossip" in any damaging sense. but the same group that helps the person process their feelings should also encourage and support more direct communication. that's really the key. the triangling itself is value-neutral.

[buddhalotus]

I don't think people should have to work throuhg thier problems alone either. But I do think that some kind of direct communication is the key. I was talking more about non sence waste of time gossip. Actual problems are all different and very situational..I see no black and white.

segregated triangles vs. collective web

[aethyrflux]

i have been trying to understand how to encourage the beneficial aspects of gossip, while discouraging the detrimental side. i have been particularly frustrated with people who refuse to talk directly to the person they have a problem with, but continue to complain about that person. so, i am attempting to understand possible motivations behind such behaviour, and figure out possible ways to meet those needs in a more productive manner. the idea that group projects help communities grow seems like kind of a no-brainer to me, but getting everyone together to work collectively can be kind of like cat-herding sometimes. would you mind descibing any of the methods used by your friend's processing group?

[queenofhalves]

can you explain the difference between klein's notion of projection and the freudian or jungian version? i didn't initially see any difference.

people tend to project their desires for power-over onto me. i know they wouldn't do that if i didn't have a hook to hang that projection on, but the only person who has to put up with that side of my personality is john. :> at heart i am a power-with kind of girl. that's why i try to surround myself with powerful friends.

"...are you my mother?"

[aethyrflux]

Promenade the Puzzle: The Poetic Vision of Peter Sinfield/Ch.10/pg.8/Projective Identification provides a more comprehensive view of what the term means; but this passage refers more directly to your question

[yoginibare]

That's so funny! You're probably one of the few people who has read Prof. Ramirez Berg's assigned reading, and you weren't even in the class. Bowen's theory really made sense to me, though.

Let's hang out again sometime when I'm there or you're here.

[aethyrflux]

we've been talking about going down to sa to visit that Mad Hatter Tea Bar, sometime during &/or before/after xmas...
what's your schedule like for the holidays?

[yoginibare]

I'm free any night after xmas except the 27th.

[aethyrflux]

even in your silence, i trust that you are keeping up The Great Work!