Serenity, from BRC
I will attempt to confine the subject of this post to a brief encapsulation of my actual experience out there on the playa, and I will save my explorations of meta-themes for another entry. This was my first year to be actually physically present in BRC (instead of being there in spirit alone, up until now), and the only name I have been able to come up with to compare it to is Paradise. ...And I feel like I'm still there! Although some people speak of withdrawl symptoms setting in after returning to "reality camp," my experience has been an overall improvement in the level of serenity about my life. Sure, my trip to Burning Man set me back considerably considering my current financial state; but there is a light at the end of that economic tunnel... although we'll talk more about the future, later ...right now, let's journey into the past, and revisit my trip to Black Rock City!
I finally decided to camp with The Dicky Box support crew, 'cause I felt that I could relate to the themes there better than anywhere else with which I was already familiar (and besides, I was riding with wellsheeyit, that's where she was camping, and she's awesome!!!). Although I didn't really spend that much time around camp... I mostly did things on my own in general. I often experience feelings of profound isolation, whether I'm out in BRC, or "at home" in Austin (thus, my identification with the outsider artist). Although, I did also meet many fascinating and wonderful new people on the playa with whom I intend to stay in contact. For instance, early on Saturday night, a bunch of us got to ride in Paul Cesewski's Star Wheel! And I also reunited with old friends, many of whom I hadn't seen in quite some time. The Dicky Box was quite a nexus. A couple of times at The Dicky Box, I even ran into W_, from Mojo's in Austin; but I never could seem to catch him around the Liquid Diet camp. And as I mentioned in my previous entry, during that first night (Saturday) in BRC, I managed to reunite with friends from my youth (M_ & F_) who have moved out to San Francisco. M_ was camping with the Cyclotronic Bicycle Rodeo Clown Circus @ the LifeSize MouseTrap, and F_ has designed a fabulous initiation ceremony called "Spank n' Spray" @ the Cat Herders Union Local 451 (thanks y'all... "Freebird" will never be the same!).
I helped with security while Dicky went into the box, and I must thank nathanblack for making it clear to me that I could make everyone a lot more comfortable if I relaxed from the fiercely protective stance that I was taking... this helped greatly in guiding me towards the place of serenity that I have been enjoying ever since.
During the day on Monday, I drummed in Center Camp, and then participated in the lighting of the fire between Center Camp & the Man in a ceremony with the Gamelan/Kechak Monkey Chanters (next year, I would love to bring out Balinese theatre costumes... perhaps even Rangda & the Barong!).
Monday evening, I enjoyed the company of a couple of lovely ladies (M_ & V_) who had just rolled in from Seattle. The next morning, we watched the sun rise over the open playa, out past Temples of Dreams. There is nothing else in my experience that can compare to the sunrise over that beautiful alien wasteland.
By Tuesday, I had already exhausted my body from walking back & forth across the city; so when I danced with the sunrise on Wednesday at the House of Lotus (10 o'clock & Esplanade), it was more like Improv Tai Chi Yoga than my skankin' ragamoffyn stylee (although those dj's were throwin' down some wicked funky riddims). At dawn, I met some folks there from G Spot & the Pink Mammoth, and we went on a quite successful quest for pancakes & khalua for breakfast (serendipitously, we found them somewhere other than where we were initially looking!). I took a siesta, and later on, I finally made it over to Pilloasis @ The Damn Fuckin' Texans, where I had a delightful visit with kreneezoner!
Also early in the week, i_hear_an_echo and I explored the labyrinth of art in the rooms below the man... it was the closest thing I have experienced since, to what Club Clearview in the Dallas area of Deep Ellum looked like in the late eighties: a maze of psychedelic environments covered with art of every conceivable medium on every surface and in between as well! During the week, there were a couple of other ocassions that he & I scouted around the city and enjoyed participating in the creativity... it was good to re-establish a friendship with him.
One day, I met some awesome soldiers on a party barge, and they introduced L_, P_, & me to The Green Fairy from Sixteenth Century Switzerland. The following night, J_ & I caught up with The Green Fairy at the Tea Temple between The Dickybox & our camp. I consider it more than a meaningful coincidence that I felt so comfortable at that Tea Temple... this week, I found a copy of Rob Brezsny's new book, _PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings,_ and was pleasantly surprised to find repeated on many of its pages, the never-sleeping eye shining its message: "Nunquam Dormio" which was also flying on a flag atop that very same Tea Temple!
During another sleepless night, I was fortunate enough to spend some time with bloodraynn... whom I had been looking for @ Spike's Vampire Bar; but I kept missing her... Yet, she just happened to walk through Center Camp while I was dancing in the cafe. Although we didn't find exactly who or what we were looking for that evening, we enjoyed a great chase, and I appreciated her serendipitous company all the more!
I hung out at The Dicky Box for a while on another night, with G_ and S_, from Wonderlounge. There was a fungus among us, and I must say that I managed to completely let go of all of my stress that evening... and I haven't had a headache since! I believe that this is when it began to dawn on me that I had really reached a new level of serenity. Subsequently, I also noticed that there was a discussion at the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies dome concerning treatment of cluster headaches with LSD & psilocybin. Regrettably, I didn't make it to that discussion; but I did attend the one about legal research being done with psychedelics, given by John Halpern, M.D. After he finished his presentation, during the Q&A, I asked what Dr. Halpern knew about the studies that were done in 1963 using psilocybin to reduce the recidivism of felons at Concord State Prison in Massachusetts. He mentioned that Rick Doblin, the President of MAPS had done some investigative research on Dr. Leary's study and found that the success of the experiment had been exaggerated, if not fabricated. In response, Dr. Metzner published an acknowledgement that he, Dr. Presnell, Dr. Weil, and Dr. Leary had at the very least made careless mistakes in their experiment. Even still, that particular area of research has become somewhat discredited, and is unfortunately not receiving much attention at this point ...and on a random note, I am recalling a discussion that hanzatsu & I had concerning the autonomic nervous system theories of criminology, which may offer another useful perspective on these issues.
Friday night, I visited the Angel of the Apocalypse; but I did not feel like revelling with everyone else. I decided to go to sleep inside The Dreamer... my dreams were dark, and I did not feel like sharing them. Not everyone appreciates my dream-quests; so I have become increasingly hermetic concerning them.
A number of times, I had a blast beating on the polyhedron-shaped industrial percussion art installation that seemed to always be on the way to wherever I was going. And I really enjoyed watching The Machine get demolished... it looked like an anime mecha battle, with The Machine like some sort of gigantic Lovecraftian burrowing insectoid worm thing that had surfaced to conquer the world (q.v. my previous entries concerning The Command to Look, The Law of the Trapezoid, The Hounds of Tindalos, The Shining Trapezohedron, and other related issues)!
On Saturday, delia_deville, Saint John Bastard & I climbed on top of the BRC Post Office and screamed at people to bring condoms for Dicky to use when he was released... and I had to sing a song (one of my own, "Psychotically Deranged") in order for Chainsaw to be willing to mail my postcard to pinkflesh17, who had asked me to send her something from the playa, since she couldn't make it out there this year. Maybe she'll make it next year, even if it means "cheating" and renting an RV with valela?
That night, as all of the beautiful art cars surrounded the man, I ran counterclockwise around the perimeter, taking pictures and shouting absurdities ("Nothing to see here, move along!"). During the burn, I had an atavistic flash: images of burning effigies throughout time and space flooded my mind, and at that same moment, the man finally fell...
I felt rather tired afterwards; so I napped for a while. But after I woke up, I did really quite enjoy the Synapses closing ceremony... when I got there, I met a young lady from Salt Lake City, and a gentleman who helped build the furnace from New York City joined us. Eventually, many cords of wood showed up, and the furnaces were awesome! We ate smores, and I talked with Strobe, Burdizzo, & Bonobo, from Austin. I was also quite flattered that S_, from the Whisky & Whores camp, liked my kilt.
By Sunday evening, most of the clueless tourists and ignorant yahoos had finally left, and we had our city back again. I can only hope that somehow, those spectators were affected by their experience in BRC in beneficial ways that will help them grow ...perhaps even becoming people who will *participate* in our celebration? But their behaviour (for instance, the trash that they left behind) shows evidence of their desregard for the principles (what principles? ...here are ten of the most popular suggestions) that make burn culture such a paradise. I was brought to tears during our Temple Burn, which was as sacred a ritual as I have ever participated in. I encountered L_, & B_ in the crowd, and we watched the temple burn together. Afterwards, we walked back to The Dicky Box for Dicky's release ceremony. Dicky shared a few choice words with us, and then he sped off into the night in the DPW vehicle known as The Observer. I met a couple of folks at The Dicky Box, K_ & J_, and we went to see the MouseTrap. Then we went by the VAST Camp, and met up with a couple of other people, G_ from Wonderlounge & N_ from Nexus. We decided to go dancing at N_'s camp, Nexus, and I ended up keeping her company that evening, after she lost her trip buddy, and everyone else went to sleep (I enjoy guiding people's experiences, anyway).
I spent a lot of my time walking around BRC. In general, I had planned to experience BRC on foot, to continue my long standing tradition of engaging in the methods of the peripatetic school of philosophy. However, I ocassionally borrowed a bike from J_, or someone else around camp. For instance, during the day on Monday, I decided to go on an independent bicycle tour of the art installations beyond The Temples of Dreams, since they were so far apart. There were a whole bunch of really cool things up there... even an art gallery... but the one that provided the most interaction between me and other people was Sola. I wished that I could have made it out there earlier to experiment in the dome with interactive light & sound that was located next to the trash fence.
Monday evening, I attended a birthday party for the artists who built the mother & child sculpture known as The Passage. There, I met the lovely K_ from Vancouver, and together we walked off into the desert, way past the trash fence... Eventually, we saw a flickering yellow light far off in the distance, which we deduced was fire, and therefore more likely to be stationary. Many miles later, we came upon La Contessa, the haunted Spanish Galleon of the Playa! The crew were shocked to see us walk out of nowhere; but they were gracious hosts, and offered to take us out to the Frog Pond with them! D_ from Camp Carp welcomed us aboard, and we all enjoyed a delightful evening in the hot springs together. It was quite dark, and at first, I lost K_ for a while; but I met another fabulous gal named J_, from Center Camp. I also realized that the enigmatic D_ was there, during a fascinating conversation with him (I said it was dark, right?)! We all had such a great time... I cannot think of a more delightful way to have spent my last evening in BRC!!!!!
This is going to sound cliche as hell, but I've really been having trouble putting my burning man experience into words. I have been waiting to respond to many comments in my journal until i could at least post this entry; so, please know that I haven't been wanting to ignore people... I just had to work out this brief description of my experience at Burning Man before I could feel comfortable carrying on conversations with other people in this space. I had even brought a journal with me to BRC, that I had wanted to use while I was there; but whenever I sat down to write about anything, the process of recording events just felt so insignificant compared to actually experiencing them. However, I am glad that some people are better journallers than I am... harliquinmayhem made an extensive post, outlining her experiences out there in great detail.
Before I went out there, I made a conscious decision not to bring a watch. And although I will bring one next year, I was glad to have the completely random experience of not caring whether I was adhering to a schedule at all. It didn't matter what I attempted to plan, b/c whatever I ended up doing was completely perfect! One of BRC's many nicknames is "The City of Broken Promises," and I made a concerted effort not to make any while I was there. It quickly became clear to me that the only time that you could be certain to have an opportunity to enjoy someone's company was in the exact moment that you were sharing with them... it might never happen again for one reason or another (reminiscent of The Gestalt Prayer or The Bodhisattva Vows, this is not a new a lesson for me, but it is one that is particularly magnified in BRC)! It seems that there are too many distractions and mutations of time and space for *many, if not most* people to be able to dependably keep schedules or plans of any kind. Instead of telling someone, "I will see you at such&such time at some particular place," I was more inclined to say things like, "I think that I will probably be at this place in the evening, so if I see you there, that would be wonderful; but if not, then hopefully I will see you some other time soon!"
I finally decided to camp with The Dicky Box support crew, 'cause I felt that I could relate to the themes there better than anywhere else with which I was already familiar (and besides, I was riding with wellsheeyit, that's where she was camping, and she's awesome!!!). Although I didn't really spend that much time around camp... I mostly did things on my own in general. I often experience feelings of profound isolation, whether I'm out in BRC, or "at home" in Austin (thus, my identification with the outsider artist). Although, I did also meet many fascinating and wonderful new people on the playa with whom I intend to stay in contact. For instance, early on Saturday night, a bunch of us got to ride in Paul Cesewski's Star Wheel! And I also reunited with old friends, many of whom I hadn't seen in quite some time. The Dicky Box was quite a nexus. A couple of times at The Dicky Box, I even ran into W_, from Mojo's in Austin; but I never could seem to catch him around the Liquid Diet camp. And as I mentioned in my previous entry, during that first night (Saturday) in BRC, I managed to reunite with friends from my youth (M_ & F_) who have moved out to San Francisco. M_ was camping with the Cyclotronic Bicycle Rodeo Clown Circus @ the LifeSize MouseTrap, and F_ has designed a fabulous initiation ceremony called "Spank n' Spray" @ the Cat Herders Union Local 451 (thanks y'all... "Freebird" will never be the same!).
I helped with security while Dicky went into the box, and I must thank nathanblack for making it clear to me that I could make everyone a lot more comfortable if I relaxed from the fiercely protective stance that I was taking... this helped greatly in guiding me towards the place of serenity that I have been enjoying ever since.
During the day on Monday, I drummed in Center Camp, and then participated in the lighting of the fire between Center Camp & the Man in a ceremony with the Gamelan/Kechak Monkey Chanters (next year, I would love to bring out Balinese theatre costumes... perhaps even Rangda & the Barong!).
Monday evening, I enjoyed the company of a couple of lovely ladies (M_ & V_) who had just rolled in from Seattle. The next morning, we watched the sun rise over the open playa, out past Temples of Dreams. There is nothing else in my experience that can compare to the sunrise over that beautiful alien wasteland.
By Tuesday, I had already exhausted my body from walking back & forth across the city; so when I danced with the sunrise on Wednesday at the House of Lotus (10 o'clock & Esplanade), it was more like Improv Tai Chi Yoga than my skankin' ragamoffyn stylee (although those dj's were throwin' down some wicked funky riddims). At dawn, I met some folks there from G Spot & the Pink Mammoth, and we went on a quite successful quest for pancakes & khalua for breakfast (serendipitously, we found them somewhere other than where we were initially looking!). I took a siesta, and later on, I finally made it over to Pilloasis @ The Damn Fuckin' Texans, where I had a delightful visit with kreneezoner!
Also early in the week, i_hear_an_echo and I explored the labyrinth of art in the rooms below the man... it was the closest thing I have experienced since, to what Club Clearview in the Dallas area of Deep Ellum looked like in the late eighties: a maze of psychedelic environments covered with art of every conceivable medium on every surface and in between as well! During the week, there were a couple of other ocassions that he & I scouted around the city and enjoyed participating in the creativity... it was good to re-establish a friendship with him.
One day, I met some awesome soldiers on a party barge, and they introduced L_, P_, & me to The Green Fairy from Sixteenth Century Switzerland. The following night, J_ & I caught up with The Green Fairy at the Tea Temple between The Dickybox & our camp. I consider it more than a meaningful coincidence that I felt so comfortable at that Tea Temple... this week, I found a copy of Rob Brezsny's new book, _PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings,_ and was pleasantly surprised to find repeated on many of its pages, the never-sleeping eye shining its message: "Nunquam Dormio" which was also flying on a flag atop that very same Tea Temple!
During another sleepless night, I was fortunate enough to spend some time with bloodraynn... whom I had been looking for @ Spike's Vampire Bar; but I kept missing her... Yet, she just happened to walk through Center Camp while I was dancing in the cafe. Although we didn't find exactly who or what we were looking for that evening, we enjoyed a great chase, and I appreciated her serendipitous company all the more!
I hung out at The Dicky Box for a while on another night, with G_ and S_, from Wonderlounge. There was a fungus among us, and I must say that I managed to completely let go of all of my stress that evening... and I haven't had a headache since! I believe that this is when it began to dawn on me that I had really reached a new level of serenity. Subsequently, I also noticed that there was a discussion at the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies dome concerning treatment of cluster headaches with LSD & psilocybin. Regrettably, I didn't make it to that discussion; but I did attend the one about legal research being done with psychedelics, given by John Halpern, M.D. After he finished his presentation, during the Q&A, I asked what Dr. Halpern knew about the studies that were done in 1963 using psilocybin to reduce the recidivism of felons at Concord State Prison in Massachusetts. He mentioned that Rick Doblin, the President of MAPS had done some investigative research on Dr. Leary's study and found that the success of the experiment had been exaggerated, if not fabricated. In response, Dr. Metzner published an acknowledgement that he, Dr. Presnell, Dr. Weil, and Dr. Leary had at the very least made careless mistakes in their experiment. Even still, that particular area of research has become somewhat discredited, and is unfortunately not receiving much attention at this point ...and on a random note, I am recalling a discussion that hanzatsu & I had concerning the autonomic nervous system theories of criminology, which may offer another useful perspective on these issues.
Friday night, I visited the Angel of the Apocalypse; but I did not feel like revelling with everyone else. I decided to go to sleep inside The Dreamer... my dreams were dark, and I did not feel like sharing them. Not everyone appreciates my dream-quests; so I have become increasingly hermetic concerning them.
A number of times, I had a blast beating on the polyhedron-shaped industrial percussion art installation that seemed to always be on the way to wherever I was going. And I really enjoyed watching The Machine get demolished... it looked like an anime mecha battle, with The Machine like some sort of gigantic Lovecraftian burrowing insectoid worm thing that had surfaced to conquer the world (q.v. my previous entries concerning The Command to Look, The Law of the Trapezoid, The Hounds of Tindalos, The Shining Trapezohedron, and other related issues)!
On Saturday, delia_deville, Saint John Bastard & I climbed on top of the BRC Post Office and screamed at people to bring condoms for Dicky to use when he was released... and I had to sing a song (one of my own, "Psychotically Deranged") in order for Chainsaw to be willing to mail my postcard to pinkflesh17, who had asked me to send her something from the playa, since she couldn't make it out there this year. Maybe she'll make it next year, even if it means "cheating" and renting an RV with valela?
That night, as all of the beautiful art cars surrounded the man, I ran counterclockwise around the perimeter, taking pictures and shouting absurdities ("Nothing to see here, move along!"). During the burn, I had an atavistic flash: images of burning effigies throughout time and space flooded my mind, and at that same moment, the man finally fell...
I felt rather tired afterwards; so I napped for a while. But after I woke up, I did really quite enjoy the Synapses closing ceremony... when I got there, I met a young lady from Salt Lake City, and a gentleman who helped build the furnace from New York City joined us. Eventually, many cords of wood showed up, and the furnaces were awesome! We ate smores, and I talked with Strobe, Burdizzo, & Bonobo, from Austin. I was also quite flattered that S_, from the Whisky & Whores camp, liked my kilt.
By Sunday evening, most of the clueless tourists and ignorant yahoos had finally left, and we had our city back again. I can only hope that somehow, those spectators were affected by their experience in BRC in beneficial ways that will help them grow ...perhaps even becoming people who will *participate* in our celebration? But their behaviour (for instance, the trash that they left behind) shows evidence of their desregard for the principles (what principles? ...here are ten of the most popular suggestions) that make burn culture such a paradise. I was brought to tears during our Temple Burn, which was as sacred a ritual as I have ever participated in. I encountered L_, & B_ in the crowd, and we watched the temple burn together. Afterwards, we walked back to The Dicky Box for Dicky's release ceremony. Dicky shared a few choice words with us, and then he sped off into the night in the DPW vehicle known as The Observer. I met a couple of folks at The Dicky Box, K_ & J_, and we went to see the MouseTrap. Then we went by the VAST Camp, and met up with a couple of other people, G_ from Wonderlounge & N_ from Nexus. We decided to go dancing at N_'s camp, Nexus, and I ended up keeping her company that evening, after she lost her trip buddy, and everyone else went to sleep (I enjoy guiding people's experiences, anyway).
I spent a lot of my time walking around BRC. In general, I had planned to experience BRC on foot, to continue my long standing tradition of engaging in the methods of the peripatetic school of philosophy. However, I ocassionally borrowed a bike from J_, or someone else around camp. For instance, during the day on Monday, I decided to go on an independent bicycle tour of the art installations beyond The Temples of Dreams, since they were so far apart. There were a whole bunch of really cool things up there... even an art gallery... but the one that provided the most interaction between me and other people was Sola. I wished that I could have made it out there earlier to experiment in the dome with interactive light & sound that was located next to the trash fence.
Monday evening, I attended a birthday party for the artists who built the mother & child sculpture known as The Passage. There, I met the lovely K_ from Vancouver, and together we walked off into the desert, way past the trash fence... Eventually, we saw a flickering yellow light far off in the distance, which we deduced was fire, and therefore more likely to be stationary. Many miles later, we came upon La Contessa, the haunted Spanish Galleon of the Playa! The crew were shocked to see us walk out of nowhere; but they were gracious hosts, and offered to take us out to the Frog Pond with them! D_ from Camp Carp welcomed us aboard, and we all enjoyed a delightful evening in the hot springs together. It was quite dark, and at first, I lost K_ for a while; but I met another fabulous gal named J_, from Center Camp. I also realized that the enigmatic D_ was there, during a fascinating conversation with him (I said it was dark, right?)! We all had such a great time... I cannot think of a more delightful way to have spent my last evening in BRC!!!!!
This is going to sound cliche as hell, but I've really been having trouble putting my burning man experience into words. I have been waiting to respond to many comments in my journal until i could at least post this entry; so, please know that I haven't been wanting to ignore people... I just had to work out this brief description of my experience at Burning Man before I could feel comfortable carrying on conversations with other people in this space. I had even brought a journal with me to BRC, that I had wanted to use while I was there; but whenever I sat down to write about anything, the process of recording events just felt so insignificant compared to actually experiencing them. However, I am glad that some people are better journallers than I am... harliquinmayhem made an extensive post, outlining her experiences out there in great detail.
Before I went out there, I made a conscious decision not to bring a watch. And although I will bring one next year, I was glad to have the completely random experience of not caring whether I was adhering to a schedule at all. It didn't matter what I attempted to plan, b/c whatever I ended up doing was completely perfect! One of BRC's many nicknames is "The City of Broken Promises," and I made a concerted effort not to make any while I was there. It quickly became clear to me that the only time that you could be certain to have an opportunity to enjoy someone's company was in the exact moment that you were sharing with them... it might never happen again for one reason or another (reminiscent of The Gestalt Prayer or The Bodhisattva Vows, this is not a new a lesson for me, but it is one that is particularly magnified in BRC)! It seems that there are too many distractions and mutations of time and space for *many, if not most* people to be able to dependably keep schedules or plans of any kind. Instead of telling someone, "I will see you at such&such time at some particular place," I was more inclined to say things like, "I think that I will probably be at this place in the evening, so if I see you there, that would be wonderful; but if not, then hopefully I will see you some other time soon!"