A Bit of an Explanation
I’ve been putting this off because… well, how to describe everything I felt on Wednesday? And I was gonna make a post later than this, but apparently there are people who are upset (and that’s not upset as in ‘sad’) so I feel this is necessary to try and stave off their anger with me.
But to be honest, you guys aren’t going to get the full reason. That’s just way too personal and I don’t feel comfortable sharing it, even if it would explain everything.
There are a lot of reasons which led up to what happened. But I’ll only talk about one of them. I was stressed out by the fandom, but not by you guys. See, my online life is pretty much all I’ve got. My real life isn’t doing too well right now and I think being so immersed in the fandom has a lot to do with that. When I deleted everything, my mentality was ‘maybe if I just throw the fandom life away, things will get better in my real life’. Understandably after spending so much time here, doing that was a mistake. I know this. And I’m sorry for it. Why didn’t I leave some kind of a message? I wasn’t exactly in the right state of mind.
But the thing is, for those of you who are actually mad at me, I understand your anger. However, just know that after reading this you should have no right to be mad. You can’t judge me, you have no idea what I’ve been through in my life or what I feel or how I think. So just stop judging me right now and try to sympathize at least a little. And remember that I write for free, which also means I’m free to do whatever I please with my fics.
For those of you who have been supportive all the way through, even when you knew nothing and still to this day know next to nothing, you’re all golden people. And I love you way more than I can express. And I’m still willing to participate in this fandom because of people like you. I’m very touched by the support I’ve received, and I’ll try to do better from here on out. I don’t want to disappoint anyone anymore.
So, I’m very sorry for what I did. Thank you to those who stuck by me. I hope you all know that I’m extraordinarily touched by your kindness.