White Collar Fic: I’ll take it, as much as you have

[afiawri]

Title: I’ll take it, as much as you have
Prompt: Take it
Story for: coffeethyme4me for the wcpairings challenge
Author: afiawri
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Smut
Warnings: Explicit Sex, D/s
Characters: Neal/Peter(/Elizabeth)
Summary: It seems whenever Neal makes a promise, he also makes a mistake.
Thanks: HUGE thanks to photoash. HUGE, HUGE, HUGE. She was my cheerleader, my idea-bouncer, my

Comments

[orphica]

I love seeing safewords being used, so naturally I loved this!

[afiawri]

\o/ Well, thank you! Always glad to hear I catered to someone's kink.

[anonymous]

I am a big fan of your WC fics, and I am truly sorry that I have chosen my first ever comment to be a nitpick. I loved the story and Neal´s internal dialogue to bits, down to the feelings of shame of not being good enough to go through with Peter´s plan for him. But Peter´s response to the safewording left me with a bitter aftertaste. Safewording is a very big issue both for the sub AND for the dom. The knowledge that your actions have hurt a person who has been trusting you implicitly is often as crippling as the actual pain or feelings of failure experienced by the sub. Some very thoughtful aftercare would normally be necesary afterwards, and going for the same setup again would need careful discussing. Also, Neal using "yellow" every other time seems to mean that Peter is being a rather poor dom who has trouble judging his sub´s limits, and that Neal does not have enough experience either to know better

[afiawri]

Don't worry about this being your first comment, I totally understand the impulse to point out what's wrong - and, in fact, appreciate some genuine concrit, so when I say the rest, please read it in a genuine tone.

Anyway, here's the thing: the comment with the yellow was to set up the fact that Neal and Peter do a lot of edge play. They do a lot of pushing out towards Neal's limits. Now, maybe I didn't convey that well, and I'll certainly keep that in mind for the future, as well as better conveying that my characters have a sense of the gravity of using a safeword. To be perfectly honest, lack of emotional response and affect is a problem across stories, across characters, and in my own life, and that you've not commented on it before surprises me more than anything.

And to the aftercare: this story is 1.4k words. Peter certainly took care of Neal! It was implied. Now, if you felt, emotionally, like you needed to see the aftercare, that I can understand, but that isn't this story and I didn't expect to cover a great deal of

reply to anon part 1

[anonymous]

Okay, I was all set to leave anon my comment. It was going to go like this

reply to anon part 2

[anonymous]

Maybe you feel that the bdsm community is misrepresented in popular culture, and you think fandom is part of the problem, but you would like it to be part of the solution. You think that fics should do their best to fairly and accurately portray these relationships

[hoosierbitch]

OMG. I missed this when you posted it to the comm, and it is SO GOOD. Fuck - so hot, and intense and - and slow, somehow, just excruciatingly detailed. GAH.

LOVE IT.

[afiawri]

Well, thank you, nice lady! :D I'm glad to hear it!

[daria234]

I loved this on wcpairings and I love it still! I love the fact that they are imperfect but they get where they want to go. And of course I love contrast between how intense and demanding the physical stuff is and how gentle (but still giving orders) Peter is with Neal's emotional state. As usual your are great at mixing wonderful trust!porn with the sizzling HOT!porn