[je] fic: comes to rest in me (ryo/shige)
Title: Comes To Rest In Me
Written: 031108
Summary: The moments that come to rest within. Ryo/Shige. WC: 2242.
Fandom: Johnny's Entertainment.
Notes: The other fic meant for Ryo's birthday, supposed to be a small thing made up of the leftover bits from The Path From Me To You, but it seems to have ballooned a bit. Also sort of related to Girls Don't Like Talking To A Hand. I guess I could call it my 'Adorkable Ryo' trilogy, lolz.
Disclaimer: Is my surname Kitagawa?
This moment, this love, comes to rest within me
----Rumi
Over lunch, Koyama shows Shige Ryo's latest j-web entry, exclaiming excitedly about Ryo's improving efforts at member-ai, but Shige's no longer paying attention, because he's working hard to stop the little flutter in his gut that he still gets whenever he sees his name and Ryo's linked in this manner.
Not much later after Shige and Koyama part ways, Shige's phone beeps. This time the message is for his eyes only, and he gives up on suppressing the tiny thrill of happiness that spreads through him as he transfers the message into a subfolder under his saved messages.
He can't help doing it, even if it's just a single-word greeting, because at times it still feels very unreal, like he's slipped into a slightly different universe, taking the place of another Shige, while the rightful Shige, the one who truly deserves Ryo's affections, is actually lost in his world instead, getting showered with the bitter barbs and aloof indifference he once thought was the limits of his interaction with Ryo.
The feeling of unreality lasts until Shige's outside the door of his apartment, fishing out his keys from his bag. He take a second to differentiate between two practically identical metal pieces before inserting the correct one in the lock.
In the study area, Shige quickly sorts out the textbooks and notes that are to be put away and those that will go back in his bag. He heads towards the kitchenette, slinging his bag over his shoulder, leaving the tottering pile of texts next to his daily planner, and the colourfully decorated piece of paper tucked under it.
*
Shige's still not very sure how he got here. One minute he's happily striding down the corridor to the exit after getting to finish his photo shoots and interview duties early for once, and the next moment he's being led away by Ohkura down to the car park because they're having dinner together.
So now he's sitting at the low table in Ohkura's apartment, alternately fiddling with his tea cup and staring up at the beige ceiling, pondering this aberrant situation, because really, in his dimension, NewS and Eito members only ever interact in the domain of work, and the only Eito member he's truly been interested in getting to know better is the one he's already close to, thank you very much.
Ohkura sets down a couple of bowls with nikujaga next to the rice, and they begin to eat, Shige wondering if he's the only one feeling awkward with the situation. Ohkura has a mysterious little smile on his face as he's eating, and once in a while, he looks at Shige with strangely gleeful eyes, leaving Shige fidgeting uncomfortably.
Shige decides he really, really misses Ryo right now.
After Ohkura's cleared the dinner things away, firmly refusing Shige's help as he did so, he comes back with a piece of paper that he pushes across the table towards Shige.
Tentatively, Shige picks it up and reads the scrawling heading. “The Many Ways Ryo-chan is a Dork,” and scribbled then struck out at the end, “we LOVE him though.”
Shige can pick out random phrases like 'wiring', 'never comes to the point when he should', 'only texts people that he likes', 'hates his photo taken' and 'is insecure about the weirdest things', all outlined and framed with colourful abstract patterns, flowers, stars and smiley faces.
“A few of us went out drinking last night,” Ohkura says matter-of-factly. “I woke up with this stuck on my face.”
Shige pauses in his perusal of the paper to look up at Ohkura. “It... was?”
Ohkura doesn't even blink. “Yes. Then I thought maybe you should have it.”
“...Thank you?”
“Don't mind the decorations, though.” Ohkura gestures a bit apologetically at the illustrations. “I think Yassan got hold of the paper last.”
Shige finds himself standing outside Ohkura's apartment block half an hour later, the paper in hand. He shrugs, and carefully puts the sheet into a folder stuffed in his bag. He has a feeling days like this are probably something he has to get used to.
*
Shige pauses outside the apartment door, balancing the various items in his hands as he digs out his keyholder, again taking a moment to tell the difference between the two keys, this time putting the other one into the lock and turning. One day he'll probably be able to tell by feel alone which key goes into which lock, but for now, he still needs vision to help him.
His sneakers get toed off carelessly at the genkan as he enters the messy apartment, placing the bentos in their conbini plastic bag on the kitchen counter, next to the paper bag with the wakame his mom made him take home when he visited his parents last night.
He spreads out his books and notes and gets ready to settle in his favourite position on the tatami in front of the low coffee table, but the pile of crumpled clothing piled up on the couch bugs him, and with a groan, Shige drops the keys dangling from his little finger onto the table and scoops up the dirty clothes, turning towards the direction of the washing machine.
*
Shige only realises he has an extra key on his keyholder two days after the fact. To be fair, he was already exhausted from moving into his new place and all the unpacking that had to be done, while still having to juggle between work and the new third-year classes.
Ryo had dropped by for a quick visit in the dead of night, squeezing some time from his tight schedule of rehearsals for the drama and Musekinin. They'd sat side by side on the tiny balcony, sipping cold beer and pretending they could really see stars in the midst of a Tokyo night.
When Shige woke up the next day, the space on the futon next to him was already cool, Ryo long since left for work.
The next couple of days were strange for Shige. At their practices, he seemed to feel Ryo gazing at him more intently than usual, something pointedly expectant in his aura. A knot of anxiety slowly grew within him, as he worriedly wracked his brain for some significant event he might have forgotten, but there was just... nothing. He didn't know how to ask Ryo what Ryo was waiting for in a way that wouldn't sound like he was being an irresponsible jerk of a boyfriend.
So on the second day of subdued Ryo - which in turn produces a depressed Shige - Shige is turning his keys over and over in his hands as he waits for Ryo to be done with his meeting with their manager, wondering why on earth he would have two identical keys to his apartment on his keyholder. It totally defeats the purpose, to have the back-up copy in the same place as the original one. Puzzled, he opens his wallet, unzipping the side compartment, and there, just as he recalls, is the back-up key that he'd tucked away after getting it done at the locksmith.
“What are you doing?” Ryo asks as he comes into the dressing room, still sounding rather half-hearted.
“I... seem to have an extra copy of my apartment key that I don't recall making,” Shige replies absently. “It's weird, I really don't remember making it at all...”
There is a clatter as Ryo's phone drops to the floor, and Shige's attention gets snapped away from his key problem. Ryo's a little flustered as he stuffs all his things quickly into his bag, and Shige now knows Ryo well enough to tell that Ryo's purposely avoiding his gaze.
“Did you-- did you ever think that maybe they don't open the same door?” Ryo mumbles before he quickly hurries out through the door.
Shige stares at the empty doorway, then back at the keys in his hand, and true, he may have failed as a genius for the past two days, but when faced with such a glaring hint, he doesn't think he could have not gotten it any longer.
Grabbing his bag, Shige runs after Ryo, grasping Ryo's wrist to stop himself from stumbling when they both suddenly come to a halt.
“What?” Ryo's still not looking at Shige.
Shige slides his hand down to interlace their fingers, squeezing them in a wordless apology for his delayed revelation. “Shall we go back to your place tonight?”
*
The washing machine is rumbling, halfway through its spin cycle, and Shige's finally settled into the rhythm of revising his lecture notes, when the lock on the front door clicks and the door opens.
He hears the muttered 'Tadaima' and gives his answering 'Okaeri', intent on finishing one more sentence before stopping. Ryo's already settled beside Shige by the time he's done and immediately nuzzles his face against Shige's shoulder the moment Shige sets down his pen.
Shige is smiling as he reaches an arm out to encircle Ryo's waist, enjoying the gradual dip in tension he can feel in Ryo's body as he draws Ryo closer.
They make small talk about their day, before Shige turns back to his schoolwork and Ryo goes for a shower. But now that Ryo's home, Shige's mood for studying has hopelessly disappeared, and he decides to take a break until after dinner.
Crawling over to the 42”-inch television, he opens the cabinet underneath and checks, then double-checks that he's pulled out the correct remote before aiming it at the DVD recorder. He's not having a repeat of the whiny - there's just no other more appropriate word in Shige's vast vocabulary - lecture he got from Ryo the first time he pressed something wrong and messed up Ryo's perfect set-up. Shige's a fairly realistic person, and he knows his position in Ryo's heart: Ryo may profess to love him the most, but that's only when the hypothetical list under consideration contains no man-made pieces of technology.
Shige's a fast learner though, and now he switches to the 'Ousama no Brunch' he'd set to be recorded days ago. The remote goes on top of his law books as he curls up on the couch to watch the audience and hosts applaud Ryo and Toda Erika's entrance into the studio.
*
“...of his or her own body under circumstances where such an exposure is likely to be seen as contrary to the local commonly accepted standards of decency.”
When he doesn't get even a grunt of acknowledgement, Shige turns around to eye Ryo sitting in Shige's favourite spot on the tatami, half-expecting Ryo to have nodded off again, but no, tonight Ryo's still pretty much alert, brow furrowed as he stares at the open law manual he's holding propped up on the low table.
“Hey, did I get it right or not?” Shige prods, stepping over and stooping down to peek at the page where the piece of legislation he's just rattled off is printed.
Confirming that he's word-perfect, he straightens up again, chiding Ryo jokingly. “Look, you were the one who said you wanted to help me study, so do it properly!”
He's about to launch into the details of the indecency laws he's studying right now when Ryo quietly cuts into his train of thought.
“Why did you choose to study this?”
Shige blinks at the completely unanticipated question. “Well... because it sounded cool... and it was the most challenging, I guess.” He sits down upon the couch next to Ryo, looking down at Ryo's head bent over the book. Ryo's fingers are playing with the corners of the pages, and Shige stops himself from reaching out to take his textbook away. He knows when to pick and choose his battles.
“Do you like it?” Ryo asks again, suddenly.
“Well, of course I like it,” Shige answers carefully, still trying to suss out what exactly Ryo is trying to get at. “How can I have kept going at it for the past two years if I didn't?”
Gently, he places a hand on Ryo's shoulder, feeling the taut muscles, and his fingers automatically move to knead out the stiffness. He's already learnt he doesn't have to ask what's wrong.
“Do you think...” Shige squeezes Ryo's shoulder reassuringly, encouraging him to go on. “Do you ever think of really becoming a lawyer?”
There's a page in Shige's textbook that is irreparably crumpled and Shige finally understands.
He leans forward to pluck the book out of Ryo's hands and shifts around to kneel in front of Ryo, straddling Ryo's outstretched legs. He cups Ryo's cheeks so Ryo can't do anything but look back at him.
“...Maybe,” he whispers. “Maybe one day, when people are tired of seeing me in magazines and on television, when they get fed up with my lack of singing and dancing skills, when the public has forgotten about me. Maybe then.”
It feels like his heart should be pounding as he gazes into Ryo's dark eyes, but Shige feels nothing but a boundless oasis of certainty and calm.
“But until that day,” Shige's arms wrap around Ryo's neck the same time Ryo's hands come to rest at his waist, “an idol is all I'm ever going to be.”
He moves even closer so he can kiss Ryo, imprinting in his memory the moment, Ryo's expression, this devotion, that will only ever belong to him.
owari
A/N: definitely more disjointed than the last, so thanks for reading! ^_^ comments are always greatly appreciated :)
Written: 031108
Summary: The moments that come to rest within. Ryo/Shige. WC: 2242.
Fandom: Johnny's Entertainment.
Notes: The other fic meant for Ryo's birthday, supposed to be a small thing made up of the leftover bits from The Path From Me To You, but it seems to have ballooned a bit. Also sort of related to Girls Don't Like Talking To A Hand. I guess I could call it my 'Adorkable Ryo' trilogy, lolz.
Disclaimer: Is my surname Kitagawa?
This moment, this love, comes to rest within me
----Rumi
Over lunch, Koyama shows Shige Ryo's latest j-web entry, exclaiming excitedly about Ryo's improving efforts at member-ai, but Shige's no longer paying attention, because he's working hard to stop the little flutter in his gut that he still gets whenever he sees his name and Ryo's linked in this manner.
Not much later after Shige and Koyama part ways, Shige's phone beeps. This time the message is for his eyes only, and he gives up on suppressing the tiny thrill of happiness that spreads through him as he transfers the message into a subfolder under his saved messages.
He can't help doing it, even if it's just a single-word greeting, because at times it still feels very unreal, like he's slipped into a slightly different universe, taking the place of another Shige, while the rightful Shige, the one who truly deserves Ryo's affections, is actually lost in his world instead, getting showered with the bitter barbs and aloof indifference he once thought was the limits of his interaction with Ryo.
The feeling of unreality lasts until Shige's outside the door of his apartment, fishing out his keys from his bag. He take a second to differentiate between two practically identical metal pieces before inserting the correct one in the lock.
In the study area, Shige quickly sorts out the textbooks and notes that are to be put away and those that will go back in his bag. He heads towards the kitchenette, slinging his bag over his shoulder, leaving the tottering pile of texts next to his daily planner, and the colourfully decorated piece of paper tucked under it.
*
Shige's still not very sure how he got here. One minute he's happily striding down the corridor to the exit after getting to finish his photo shoots and interview duties early for once, and the next moment he's being led away by Ohkura down to the car park because they're having dinner together.
So now he's sitting at the low table in Ohkura's apartment, alternately fiddling with his tea cup and staring up at the beige ceiling, pondering this aberrant situation, because really, in his dimension, NewS and Eito members only ever interact in the domain of work, and the only Eito member he's truly been interested in getting to know better is the one he's already close to, thank you very much.
Ohkura sets down a couple of bowls with nikujaga next to the rice, and they begin to eat, Shige wondering if he's the only one feeling awkward with the situation. Ohkura has a mysterious little smile on his face as he's eating, and once in a while, he looks at Shige with strangely gleeful eyes, leaving Shige fidgeting uncomfortably.
Shige decides he really, really misses Ryo right now.
After Ohkura's cleared the dinner things away, firmly refusing Shige's help as he did so, he comes back with a piece of paper that he pushes across the table towards Shige.
Tentatively, Shige picks it up and reads the scrawling heading. “The Many Ways Ryo-chan is a Dork,” and scribbled then struck out at the end, “we LOVE him though.”
Shige can pick out random phrases like 'wiring', 'never comes to the point when he should', 'only texts people that he likes', 'hates his photo taken' and 'is insecure about the weirdest things', all outlined and framed with colourful abstract patterns, flowers, stars and smiley faces.
“A few of us went out drinking last night,” Ohkura says matter-of-factly. “I woke up with this stuck on my face.”
Shige pauses in his perusal of the paper to look up at Ohkura. “It... was?”
Ohkura doesn't even blink. “Yes. Then I thought maybe you should have it.”
“...Thank you?”
“Don't mind the decorations, though.” Ohkura gestures a bit apologetically at the illustrations. “I think Yassan got hold of the paper last.”
Shige finds himself standing outside Ohkura's apartment block half an hour later, the paper in hand. He shrugs, and carefully puts the sheet into a folder stuffed in his bag. He has a feeling days like this are probably something he has to get used to.
*
Shige pauses outside the apartment door, balancing the various items in his hands as he digs out his keyholder, again taking a moment to tell the difference between the two keys, this time putting the other one into the lock and turning. One day he'll probably be able to tell by feel alone which key goes into which lock, but for now, he still needs vision to help him.
His sneakers get toed off carelessly at the genkan as he enters the messy apartment, placing the bentos in their conbini plastic bag on the kitchen counter, next to the paper bag with the wakame his mom made him take home when he visited his parents last night.
He spreads out his books and notes and gets ready to settle in his favourite position on the tatami in front of the low coffee table, but the pile of crumpled clothing piled up on the couch bugs him, and with a groan, Shige drops the keys dangling from his little finger onto the table and scoops up the dirty clothes, turning towards the direction of the washing machine.
*
Shige only realises he has an extra key on his keyholder two days after the fact. To be fair, he was already exhausted from moving into his new place and all the unpacking that had to be done, while still having to juggle between work and the new third-year classes.
Ryo had dropped by for a quick visit in the dead of night, squeezing some time from his tight schedule of rehearsals for the drama and Musekinin. They'd sat side by side on the tiny balcony, sipping cold beer and pretending they could really see stars in the midst of a Tokyo night.
When Shige woke up the next day, the space on the futon next to him was already cool, Ryo long since left for work.
The next couple of days were strange for Shige. At their practices, he seemed to feel Ryo gazing at him more intently than usual, something pointedly expectant in his aura. A knot of anxiety slowly grew within him, as he worriedly wracked his brain for some significant event he might have forgotten, but there was just... nothing. He didn't know how to ask Ryo what Ryo was waiting for in a way that wouldn't sound like he was being an irresponsible jerk of a boyfriend.
So on the second day of subdued Ryo - which in turn produces a depressed Shige - Shige is turning his keys over and over in his hands as he waits for Ryo to be done with his meeting with their manager, wondering why on earth he would have two identical keys to his apartment on his keyholder. It totally defeats the purpose, to have the back-up copy in the same place as the original one. Puzzled, he opens his wallet, unzipping the side compartment, and there, just as he recalls, is the back-up key that he'd tucked away after getting it done at the locksmith.
“What are you doing?” Ryo asks as he comes into the dressing room, still sounding rather half-hearted.
“I... seem to have an extra copy of my apartment key that I don't recall making,” Shige replies absently. “It's weird, I really don't remember making it at all...”
There is a clatter as Ryo's phone drops to the floor, and Shige's attention gets snapped away from his key problem. Ryo's a little flustered as he stuffs all his things quickly into his bag, and Shige now knows Ryo well enough to tell that Ryo's purposely avoiding his gaze.
“Did you-- did you ever think that maybe they don't open the same door?” Ryo mumbles before he quickly hurries out through the door.
Shige stares at the empty doorway, then back at the keys in his hand, and true, he may have failed as a genius for the past two days, but when faced with such a glaring hint, he doesn't think he could have not gotten it any longer.
Grabbing his bag, Shige runs after Ryo, grasping Ryo's wrist to stop himself from stumbling when they both suddenly come to a halt.
“What?” Ryo's still not looking at Shige.
Shige slides his hand down to interlace their fingers, squeezing them in a wordless apology for his delayed revelation. “Shall we go back to your place tonight?”
*
The washing machine is rumbling, halfway through its spin cycle, and Shige's finally settled into the rhythm of revising his lecture notes, when the lock on the front door clicks and the door opens.
He hears the muttered 'Tadaima' and gives his answering 'Okaeri', intent on finishing one more sentence before stopping. Ryo's already settled beside Shige by the time he's done and immediately nuzzles his face against Shige's shoulder the moment Shige sets down his pen.
Shige is smiling as he reaches an arm out to encircle Ryo's waist, enjoying the gradual dip in tension he can feel in Ryo's body as he draws Ryo closer.
They make small talk about their day, before Shige turns back to his schoolwork and Ryo goes for a shower. But now that Ryo's home, Shige's mood for studying has hopelessly disappeared, and he decides to take a break until after dinner.
Crawling over to the 42”-inch television, he opens the cabinet underneath and checks, then double-checks that he's pulled out the correct remote before aiming it at the DVD recorder. He's not having a repeat of the whiny - there's just no other more appropriate word in Shige's vast vocabulary - lecture he got from Ryo the first time he pressed something wrong and messed up Ryo's perfect set-up. Shige's a fairly realistic person, and he knows his position in Ryo's heart: Ryo may profess to love him the most, but that's only when the hypothetical list under consideration contains no man-made pieces of technology.
Shige's a fast learner though, and now he switches to the 'Ousama no Brunch' he'd set to be recorded days ago. The remote goes on top of his law books as he curls up on the couch to watch the audience and hosts applaud Ryo and Toda Erika's entrance into the studio.
*
“...of his or her own body under circumstances where such an exposure is likely to be seen as contrary to the local commonly accepted standards of decency.”
When he doesn't get even a grunt of acknowledgement, Shige turns around to eye Ryo sitting in Shige's favourite spot on the tatami, half-expecting Ryo to have nodded off again, but no, tonight Ryo's still pretty much alert, brow furrowed as he stares at the open law manual he's holding propped up on the low table.
“Hey, did I get it right or not?” Shige prods, stepping over and stooping down to peek at the page where the piece of legislation he's just rattled off is printed.
Confirming that he's word-perfect, he straightens up again, chiding Ryo jokingly. “Look, you were the one who said you wanted to help me study, so do it properly!”
He's about to launch into the details of the indecency laws he's studying right now when Ryo quietly cuts into his train of thought.
“Why did you choose to study this?”
Shige blinks at the completely unanticipated question. “Well... because it sounded cool... and it was the most challenging, I guess.” He sits down upon the couch next to Ryo, looking down at Ryo's head bent over the book. Ryo's fingers are playing with the corners of the pages, and Shige stops himself from reaching out to take his textbook away. He knows when to pick and choose his battles.
“Do you like it?” Ryo asks again, suddenly.
“Well, of course I like it,” Shige answers carefully, still trying to suss out what exactly Ryo is trying to get at. “How can I have kept going at it for the past two years if I didn't?”
Gently, he places a hand on Ryo's shoulder, feeling the taut muscles, and his fingers automatically move to knead out the stiffness. He's already learnt he doesn't have to ask what's wrong.
“Do you think...” Shige squeezes Ryo's shoulder reassuringly, encouraging him to go on. “Do you ever think of really becoming a lawyer?”
There's a page in Shige's textbook that is irreparably crumpled and Shige finally understands.
He leans forward to pluck the book out of Ryo's hands and shifts around to kneel in front of Ryo, straddling Ryo's outstretched legs. He cups Ryo's cheeks so Ryo can't do anything but look back at him.
“...Maybe,” he whispers. “Maybe one day, when people are tired of seeing me in magazines and on television, when they get fed up with my lack of singing and dancing skills, when the public has forgotten about me. Maybe then.”
It feels like his heart should be pounding as he gazes into Ryo's dark eyes, but Shige feels nothing but a boundless oasis of certainty and calm.
“But until that day,” Shige's arms wrap around Ryo's neck the same time Ryo's hands come to rest at his waist, “an idol is all I'm ever going to be.”
He moves even closer so he can kiss Ryo, imprinting in his memory the moment, Ryo's expression, this devotion, that will only ever belong to him.
owari
A/N: definitely more disjointed than the last, so thanks for reading! ^_^ comments are always greatly appreciated :)