Comments | afterabortion: My story

sixtrickponies in afterabortion

My story

Sep 20, 2007 06:47

Hello.... I just found this group, and I wish I had found it sooner. I hope that it is the right place for me. I had an abortion three weeks ago. I am pro-choice and agnostic and will always stay that way. I have had a very difficult time dealing with post-abortion stress and anxiety and depression. I have been trying to find a support group or ( Read more... )

Comments 9

reignst0rm September 20 2007, 15:29:44 UTC

Thank you so much for sharing your story. My abortion was several years ago, but you have echoed my sentiments, sometimes down to the last detail.
As for support, I would try http://www.afterabortion.com. They *might* list some local area support groups? I'm not sure what's on the site beyond the messageboards, which are also HUGELY helpful.
As I said, it's been several years since my abortion, and since I got virtually no help and no support afterwards, I'm still grieving. I'd hate to see you go through the same thing.

causticwookie September 20 2007, 15:38:26 UTC

Hi. First...::hugs:: I'm sorry to hear that you feel so alone--no one should have to go through that alone. If you need someone to talk to, my e-mail is thelastwhig at gmail.com. I don't have a whole lot of experience, but I'm a good listener and probably the least judgmental person in the South (I'm in GA).

The important thing to remember is that you haven't done anything wrong. You made the best choice for you personally, and there's no one else you can truly count on to do that. The fact that you could make such a mature decision...and such an excruciatingly hard one...says a lot (of positive things) about you. This sounds cheesy, but of all the people you need for support, you most certainly need you to be on your side.

occidio September 24 2007, 10:01:48 UTC

I'm conflicted here.

Some things I can address:

Most of the reports about post abortion trauma come from the radical pro-life groups. Rates of depression in women who've had abortions aren't any different from the population at large. I'm not saying that it doesn't hurt, or that the pain isn't real, or that it's wrong to mourn or feel grief. I'm saying that the preponderance of evidence tells us that you're gonna be okay, and that it's not going to hurt forever.

That's really all I can say.

phoenixstar121 October 17 2007, 18:50:09 UTC

Its funny that you should say that its not going to hurt forever. I had my abortion 5 years ago, and I still hurt, every single day. Its not something that you can just get over in a few months. Especially when it wasn't a choice you wilingly made, but rather a choice you made due to circumstances.

eyelid March 17 2008, 21:37:19 UTC

Its not something that you can just get over in a few months.

I got over it in a few DAYS. Actually, that's not true. For me, there wasn't anything to get over.

Every woman's experience is different and no experience is to be discounted. But it is unusual to be hurting so long after an abortion. The vast majority of women, even if they do have negative emotions, "heal" after a short period of time (a few months is the norm that I've seen) and move on with their lives. If you haven't already, I strongly suggest that you get into some therapy and/or other treatments. To have an abortion still impacting your life so strongly five years after the fact is not normal and is indicative that you could likely use some help.

lovethem October 3 2007, 17:58:26 UTC

i feel the same as you. we could talk, if you'd like.

phoenixstar121 October 17 2007, 18:53:29 UTC

I completely understand everything you're feeling. And while I am a christian (as of very recently), I am rather open minded being that I was pagan for many many years before this year. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to send me a message and I will give you my email. Its been 5 years for me, and it still hasn't gotten any easier.