A couple years ago,I had an abortion.I became pregnant on July fourth and had the abortion August fourth.I know I did the right thing,I am very pro-choice and don't want children.Even though I love them
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Let me tell you something, and I don't know if this will make you feel worse instead of better, but I had my abortion 14 years ago and I still grieve. Every year at the anniversary I'm a depressed wreck, same as the 'birthday'. Some days I can't go near the baby aisle in the grocery store or see baby clothes, or be around childred in general. I don't exactly regret my decision. I know that having a child back then would totally have been a mistake. I'm 39 now, and I've recently been told I can't have children, so that devastated me, and I feel like I threw away my only chance. But, that's not all the time. Like I said, I hope this doesn't make you feel worse instead of better. I jusut want you to know you aren't alone in your feelings. If you want to email me my email is cyynica@yahoo.com.
(hugs) I'm so sorry about what the dr said:-(. But thank you for telling me how you cope with the a.b. anniversary.You have actually made me feel relieved...knowing that part of me might always carry some grief feels a little easier to accept now that I know it's normal,and not necessarily indicative of regrets.I was so scared that maybe I DID regret the decision ,and just didn't know it. Thank you so,so much for telling me your story and being honest about how hard it might be sometimes.I DO feel better knowing that I am not alone,and even if I feel so horrible every year at the same times of the year,I still won't be alone.
Yep, I feel the same way. The logical, rational part of me knows that I couldn't have afforded one, didn't have the life for one and the dad was...not ready to be a dad is the nicest way I can put it. Yet on what would have been the baby's birthday and on the date of the abortion, I grieve. I'm pretty sure it's normal. I know a lot of women who think and feel the same thing. It doesn't necessarily mean you think you made the wrong decision. It just means you do think and feel sad sometimes. *hugs*
**hugs** thank you for commenting. I made the choice for the same reasons you did, so it confused me so much to feel any sense of loss over it. I have a strange question for you.Do you ever feel guilty about grieving?Or like you "don't have a right" to feel sad occaionally over the a.b?
I don't have those reactions, but plenty of women do, and there's nothing weird or strange about it. Every choice means there's a road not taken and there might be some regrets associated with that, even if you made the right choice overall.
You know,that's true about the "road not taken." I hadn't thought about that.
Yeah, the few women Ive talked to about this irl never mentioned any confusion or mixed emotions about their decisions.I was scared that that meant that,deep down,maybe even subconsciously,I wasn't okay. I so did not want to be pregnant,and did not want to be a mom.I discussed this with friends of mine,most of them prochoice,one of them not,and played out "what if" scenarios in my head. When I thought about keeping it,I felt more defeated than I've ever felt in my life,and that's when I knew what I would do.
And that's what boggles my mind.I was adamant about having the procedure,and relieved when it was over,so why all this mixed emotion?
Thank you for commenting,and the reminder of "the road" ;-)
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I don't exactly regret my decision. I know that having a child back then would totally have been a mistake. I'm 39 now, and I've recently been told I can't have children, so that devastated me, and I feel like I threw away my only chance. But, that's not all the time.
Like I said, I hope this doesn't make you feel worse instead of better. I jusut want you to know you aren't alone in your feelings. If you want to email me my email is cyynica@yahoo.com.
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But thank you for telling me how you cope with the a.b. anniversary.You have actually made me feel relieved...knowing that part of me might always carry some grief feels a little easier to accept now that I know it's normal,and not necessarily indicative of regrets.I was so scared that maybe I DID regret the decision ,and just didn't know it.
Thank you so,so much for telling me your story and being honest about how hard it might be sometimes.I DO feel better knowing that I am not alone,and even if I feel so horrible every year at the same times of the year,I still won't be alone.
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I made the choice for the same reasons you did, so it confused me so much to feel any sense of loss over it.
I have a strange question for you.Do you ever feel guilty about grieving?Or like you "don't have a right" to feel sad occaionally over the a.b?
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Yeah, the few women Ive talked to about this irl never mentioned any confusion or mixed emotions about their decisions.I was scared that that meant that,deep down,maybe even subconsciously,I wasn't okay.
I so did not want to be pregnant,and did not want to be a mom.I discussed this with friends of mine,most of them prochoice,one of them not,and played out "what if" scenarios in my head.
When I thought about keeping it,I felt more defeated than I've ever felt in my life,and that's when I knew what I would do.
And that's what boggles my mind.I was adamant about having the procedure,and relieved when it was over,so why all this mixed emotion?
Thank you for commenting,and the reminder of "the road" ;-)
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