I had to have a mental health evaluation recently. The doctor kept telling me there are treatments for anxiety. He said there are medications. I told him I don't trust medications. He later went back to saying there are therapy treatments. Then started it with "first you take a medication". What part of "I am NOT going to take medications" don't ( Read more... )

I realized today that my mom's probably right about some of my issues being from spending too much time staring at a screen right in front of me with my head tilted down... but more so that the vast majority of the rest of my time is being hunched over staring at jump rings. So bad neck angle and always looking at things right in front of me ( Read more... )

I didn't do a review of the year... and I feel kinda weird about that now ( Read more... )

Today I went to flush the toilet and realized I already had, but I had no memory of doing it. No big deal... it's such a routine task, why would anyone actively remember it ( Read more... )

I think it was night before last that I dreamed I had a bear. It'd needed a home and I somehow came to have it in a private sanctuary. I apparently wasn't allergic to it and it was super freaking friendly. I was using it as a pillow and we were playing and cuddling. At times it reminded me of a newfie. A big black bear newfie.

I'm having a really rough time right now. I've never really had a lot of friends... and the birthdays of a good chunk of my former bestfriends just passed by (and the others are fast approaching). For some reason that always hits me hard. I remember their birthdays... send them messages most of course ignore. I go on wondering why they all stopped ( Read more... )

So I've been having some really long drawn out really detailed dreams lately. The other night I had one where I was standing in a theater with family and friends, saying goodbye, because I was one of the line of people scheduled for execution that day. I was calmly spinning my crystal poi. Then I did whine and say I wasn't ready. The ceiling ( Read more... )

Sat. morning I woke up not feeling good. Around 6:45 I was running to the bathroom while carrying a bucket. By around 8pm I was throwing up frequently... according to messages I had going with Matty it'd be around 8:15, 8:30, 8:55, 9:25, 10:15 at which point I got so thirsty I desperately wanted to chug a huge glass of water, but I didn't do it... ( Read more... )

I need a moment to vent. I'm sitting here shaking... because for the second time in 24 hours people have blocked me for... I'm not even sure why they got so mad ( Read more... )

My parents, Matt and I ended south around 8am Sunday. We stayed the night in Georgia that night. Had Waffle House for both breakfast and dinner. I didn't sleep particularly well. I laid in bed listening to mom snore for quite a while and possibly didn't sleep soundly until she got up around 4:30. Yea, she never sleeps. Then we got to Naples around ( Read more... )